What to do When We feel like Our Life is Falling Apart

What to do When We feel like Our Life is Falling Apart:

When life falls apart and you’re faced with challenging circumstances or difficult situations, it can be incredibly overwhelming and emotionally draining. Here are some steps and strategies to help you navigate these tough times:

Accept Your Feelings: Allow yourself to feel the emotions that come with difficult situations. It’s natural to feel sadness, anger, fear, or even confusion. Acknowledge these feelings without judgment.

Reach Out for Support: Don’t go through it alone. Share your feelings and concerns with trusted friends or family members. Sometimes, just talking about what you’re going through can provide a sense of relief.

Seek Professional Help: If you find that you’re struggling to cope with your emotions or the situation is taking a severe toll on your mental health, consider speaking to a therapist, counselor, or psychologist. They can provide guidance and coping strategies.

Break It Down: When life feels overwhelming, break down the situation into smaller, manageable parts. Tackle one issue at a time, setting achievable goals along the way.

Self-Care: Prioritize self-care to maintain your physical and mental well-being. This includes getting enough sleep, eating nutritiously, exercising regularly, and practicing relaxation techniques like meditation or deep breathing.

Mindfulness and Meditation: These practices can help you stay grounded and focused in the present moment, reducing anxiety about the past or future.

Set Realistic Expectations: Understand that you may not be able to solve everything immediately or control external circumstances. Set realistic expectations for yourself and others during difficult times.

Lean on Your Faith or Beliefs: If you have religious or spiritual beliefs, this can be a source of strength and comfort during tough times. Seek guidance or solace in your faith.

Journaling: Writing down your thoughts and feelings can help you gain clarity and process your emotions. It can also serve as a record of your journey and progress.

Stay Flexible: Life often throws unexpected challenges our way. Be open to adapting your plans and goals as needed. Flexibility can help you navigate through uncertainty.

Learn from the Experience: Try to find lessons or opportunities for personal growth in difficult situations. While it’s not always easy to see the silver lining, challenges can offer valuable insights and resilience.

Seek Inspiration: Read books, watch movies, or listen to stories of people who have overcome adversity. Their experiences can provide inspiration and a sense of hope.

Take Breaks: Don’t forget to take short breaks or vacations when possible to recharge and gain a fresh perspective.

Financial Planning: If your situation involves financial difficulties, seek advice from financial experts and create a plan to manage your finances effectively.

Give Yourself Time: Healing and recovery take time. Be patient with yourself and recognize that it’s okay to grieve or struggle during difficult periods.

Connect with Support Groups: Joining support groups or online communities of people who have experienced similar challenges can be reassuring and helpful.

Focus on What You Can Control: Instead of dwelling on what you can’t control, put your energy into the aspects of your life that you can influence.

Remember that it’s okay to ask for help and seek guidance when life falls apart. It’s a natural part of the human experience to face adversity, and with time and effort, you can rebuild and move forward. Ultimately, how you respond to these challenges can shape your resilience and character.

Shervan K Shahhian

The Tapping Solution, what is it?

The Tapping Solution, what is it:

The Tapping Solution, also known as Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT), is a holistic healing technique that combines principles of traditional Chinese medicine with modern psychology. It is designed to address emotional and psychological issues by tapping on specific points on the body, known as meridian points or energy points, while focusing on the underlying emotional problem or issue.

Here’s a basic overview of how The Tapping Solution/EFT works:

  1. Identify the Issue: The first step is to identify the emotional or psychological issue you want to address. This could be anything from stress and anxiety to phobias, trauma, or negative beliefs.
  2. Setup Statement: You formulate a statement that acknowledges the issue and your acceptance of yourself despite it. This is often referred to as the “Setup Statement” and typically starts with “Even though I have this [issue], I deeply and completely love and accept myself.”
  3. Tapping Sequence: There are specific points on the body, primarily on the face and upper body, that you tap on while repeating your setup statement and focusing on the issue. These points are believed to be connected to the body’s energy meridians.

The common tapping points include:

  • The top of the head
  • The eyebrow
  • The side of the eye
  • Under the eye
  • Under the nose
  • Chin
  • Collarbone
  • Under the arm
  1. Rounds of Tapping: You go through a series of rounds of tapping, addressing different aspects of the issue or related emotions as you progress. This is done to reduce the intensity of the emotional response.
  2. Reassessment: After several rounds of tapping, you reassess the intensity of your emotional distress or issue. The goal is to reduce the intensity to a more manageable level or eliminate it entirely.

Proponents of The Tapping Solution claim that it can help release emotional blockages, reduce stress, anxiety, and even alleviate physical symptoms that are thought to be related to emotional issues. While some scientific studies have shown promising results regarding its effectiveness for certain conditions, it is still considered an alternative or complementary therapy and may not be accepted by all mainstream medical practitioners.

It’s important to note that if you’re considering trying The Tapping Solution/EFT, it’s advisable to consult with a qualified practitioner or therapist who is experienced in this technique to ensure you are using it effectively and safely for your specific needs.

Shervan K Shahhian

How to Enhance Psychological Safety

How to Enhance Psychological Safety:

Enhancing psychological safety is essential for creating a positive and productive environment in any group or organization. Psychological safety refers to the belief that one can speak up, take risks, and express themselves without fear of negative consequences. When individuals feel psychologically safe, they are more likely to collaborate, innovate, and contribute their best to a team or organization. Here are some strategies to enhance psychological safety:

  1. Lead by Example: Leaders play a crucial role in establishing psychological safety. Demonstrate vulnerability, admit mistakes, and show that it’s okay to ask questions or seek help. When leaders create a safe space, it sets the tone for the entire organization.
  2. Encourage Open Communication: Actively promote open and honest communication at all levels of the organization. Encourage employees to voice their opinions, concerns, and ideas without fear of judgment or retribution.
  3. Listen Actively: When someone shares their thoughts or concerns, listen actively and empathetically. Avoid interrupting, show empathy, and ask clarifying questions to ensure you understand their perspective.
  4. Provide Constructive Feedback: When giving feedback, focus on the behavior or the issue at hand, not on the person. Use a growth-oriented and constructive approach rather than criticizing or blaming.
  5. Promote Inclusivity: Emphasize the value of diversity and inclusion within the organization. Ensure that people from different backgrounds and perspectives feel respected and included in decision-making processes.
  6. Establish Ground Rules: Develop clear ground rules or norms for communication and collaboration within your team or organization. These ground rules should include principles like respect, active listening, and constructive feedback.
  7. Training and Education: Provide training on topics related to psychological safety, communication, conflict resolution, and emotional intelligence. This can help employees and leaders better understand and apply these concepts in their daily interactions.
  8. Recognition and Appreciation: Acknowledge and appreciate individuals’ contributions and efforts. Celebrate successes, both big and small, to boost morale and reinforce a positive culture.
  9. Conflict Resolution: Equip employees and leaders with conflict resolution skills to address disagreements and issues in a healthy and constructive manner. A well-managed conflict can lead to better understanding and stronger relationships.
  10. Zero Tolerance for Retaliation: Make it clear that retaliation against those who speak up or report issues will not be tolerated. Establish mechanisms for reporting concerns anonymously if necessary.
  11. Regular Check-Ins: Conduct regular one-on-one check-ins with team members to provide a safe space for discussing concerns, progress, and development opportunities.
  12. Continuous Improvement: Continually assess and improve your organization’s culture of psychological safety. Seek feedback from employees and be willing to adapt and change as needed.

Remember that enhancing psychological safety is an ongoing process that requires commitment and effort from everyone in the organization. It’s not something that can be achieved overnight, but the benefits in terms of employee engagement, creativity, and overall well-being can be significant.

Shervan K Shahhian

Let’s take another look into Psychodynamic Psychotherapy

Let’s take another look into Psychodynamic Psychotherapy:

Of course! Psychodynamic psychotherapy is a form of talk therapy that explores how unconscious thoughts and emotions influence a person’s behavior, feelings, and overall mental well-being. It is rooted in the principles of psychoanalysis, which was developed by Sigmund Freud in the late 19th and early 20th centuries, but psychodynamic therapy has evolved and branched into various schools of thought over time. Here are some key aspects and principles of psychodynamic psychotherapy:

  1. Unconscious Processes: Psychodynamic therapy focuses on the idea that many of our thoughts, feelings, and motivations are unconscious. These unconscious elements can stem from early childhood experiences and can affect our current behaviors and relationships.
  2. The Role of the Therapist: In psychodynamic therapy, the therapist plays a crucial role in helping the patient explore their unconscious processes. The therapist provides a safe and supportive environment for the patient to talk openly about their thoughts and feelings.
  3. Free Association: One technique commonly used in psychodynamic therapy is free association. The patient is encouraged to say whatever comes to mind without censoring themselves. This can help uncover hidden thoughts and emotions.
  4. Transference and Countertransference: Transference occurs when the patient unconsciously transfers feelings and attitudes from past relationships onto the therapist. Countertransference refers to the therapist’s emotional reactions to the patient. Both phenomena are explored and analyzed to gain insights into the patient’s inner world.
  5. Exploring Childhood Experiences: Psychodynamic therapy often delves into a patient’s early childhood experiences, as these are believed to shape personality and behavior. Understanding and resolving unresolved conflicts from childhood can be therapeutic.
  6. Insight and Self-Awareness: The primary goal of psychodynamic therapy is to promote insight and self-awareness. By uncovering unconscious thoughts and emotions, patients can gain a deeper understanding of themselves and make positive changes in their lives.
  7. Long-Term Approach: Psychodynamic therapy is typically longer-term compared to some other forms of therapy, such as cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT). It may involve ongoing sessions over several months or even years.
  8. Applicability: Psychodynamic therapy can be used to address a wide range of mental health issues, including depression, anxiety, personality disorders, and relationship problems.
  9. Integration with Other Therapies: Some therapists may integrate psychodynamic principles with other therapeutic approaches, such as cognitive-behavioral techniques, to create a more comprehensive treatment plan.

It’s worth noting that while psychodynamic therapy has a rich history and has contributed significantly to the field of psychology, it may not be the best fit for everyone. Some individuals may prefer shorter-term, more solution-focused therapies like CBT. The choice of therapy depends on the individual’s unique needs and preferences, as well as the expertise of the therapist.

Shervan K Shahhian

An overview of Application of QuantCrit Principles

An overview of Application of QuantCrit Principles:

QuantCrit, short for “Quantitative Critical Analysis,” is an approach that combines quantitative research methods with critical analysis to examine various phenomena. It is commonly used in the fields of social sciences, humanities, and beyond to evaluate and critique research, policies, or practices. Here’s an overview of the application of QuantCrit principles:

Research Evaluation: Researchers use QuantCrit principles to assess the quality and rigor of existing research. By quantitatively analyzing data and applying critical lenses, they can identify methodological flaws, biases, and limitations in previous studies. This helps in building upon existing research and shaping future investigations.

Policy Analysis: QuantCrit can be applied to evaluate the impact and effectiveness of public policies. Researchers analyze quantitative data related to policy outcomes, such as socioeconomic indicators or health outcomes, while critically examining the underlying assumptions and values embedded in these policies. This approach helps policymakers and advocates make informed decisions about policy changes and improvements.

Media and Discourse Analysis: QuantCrit is useful for analyzing media content and public discourse. Researchers can quantitatively analyze media narratives, news articles, or social media data while critically examining issues such as framing, bias, and representation. This approach is valuable for understanding how information is disseminated and how it influences public opinion.

Educational Research: In the field of education, QuantCrit principles can be applied to assess the effectiveness of educational programs and interventions. Researchers may collect quantitative data on student outcomes while critically evaluating the cultural relevance, inclusivity, and equity of these programs. This approach aids in designing more equitable and effective educational initiatives.

Healthcare and Public Health: QuantCrit can be used to evaluate healthcare practices, interventions, and public health policies. Researchers analyze quantitative health data while critically assessing issues like healthcare disparities, cultural competence, and the ethical implications of medical decisions. This approach helps improve healthcare delivery and health equity.

Environmental Analysis: Environmental researchers can apply QuantCrit principles to assess the impact of environmental policies and practices. Quantitative data on environmental indicators, such as pollution levels or biodiversity, can be analyzed alongside critical considerations of environmental justice, sustainability, and ethical concerns.

Business and Economics: QuantCrit can be used in business and economics research to assess economic policies, corporate practices, and financial systems. Researchers may analyze quantitative economic data while critically examining issues related to income inequality, corporate social responsibility, and the ethical implications of economic decisions.

Cultural Studies and Literature: In cultural studies and literary analysis, QuantCrit can be applied to study representations of identity, power dynamics, and social issues. Researchers may analyze quantitative data on literary or cultural texts while critically evaluating themes, stereotypes, and ideologies embedded in these texts.

Community Development: QuantCrit principles can be applied in community development projects. Researchers may use quantitative data to assess the impact of community initiatives while critically considering issues like community engagement, cultural sensitivity, and social justice.

In all these applications, QuantCrit principles provide a structured framework for combining quantitative data analysis with critical thinking, helping researchers and practitioners gain a deeper understanding of complex issues and make more informed decisions.
​Shervan K Shahhian

The Optimistic outlook on life

The Optimistic outlook on life:

An optimistic outlook on life is a positive and hopeful attitude toward the future and the world around you. It involves expecting the best possible outcomes in various situations and believing that things will generally turn out well. Here are some key aspects of an optimistic outlook on life:

Positive Thinking: Optimistic individuals tend to focus on the positive aspects of a situation rather than dwelling on the negative. They look for silver linings and see challenges as opportunities for growth.

Resilience: Optimists are more resilient in the face of adversity. They believe that setbacks are temporary and that they can overcome difficulties through effort and determination.

Hopefulness: Optimists have a strong sense of hope and faith in the future. They believe that good things are on the horizon and that they have the power to shape their own destiny.

Gratitude: Optimistic people often express gratitude for the things they have in life. They appreciate the small joys and everyday blessings, which contributes to their positive outlook.

Problem-Solving: Rather than getting bogged down by problems, optimists approach challenges as puzzles to solve. They believe that solutions exist and are willing to work towards finding them.

Openness to Change: Optimists are generally more open to change and new experiences. They see change as a chance for personal growth and improvement.

Optimistic Language: They use positive language and avoid negative self-talk. This not only affects their mindset but also influences the way they communicate with others.

Social Connections: Optimists tend to have strong social networks because their positive attitude is often contagious and attractive to others.

Health Benefits: Research suggests that optimism can have physical and mental health benefits, including lower stress levels, better immune function, and increased longevity.

Future Orientation: Optimists are forward-looking and believe in setting goals and planning for the future. They have a sense of purpose and direction in their lives.

It’s important to note that being optimistic doesn’t mean ignoring the realities of life or being naive. Optimism is about maintaining a positive perspective while acknowledging challenges and setbacks. Cultivating an optimistic outlook can lead to a happier, more fulfilling life and can positively impact your overall well-being.

Shervan K Shahhian

Understanding Polyvagal Theory

Understanding Polyvagal Theory:

Polyvagal Theory is a theory developed by Dr. Stephen Porges in the 1990s that provides a neurobiological framework for understanding how our autonomic nervous system (ANS) influences our behavior, emotions, and social interactions. The theory is particularly relevant to the field of psychology, psychiatry, and the study of stress and trauma. It posits that the ANS is not a simple on-off switch but rather a complex system that responds to different cues and threats in our environment, shaping our physiological and emotional responses.

Here are the key concepts and components of Polyvagal Theory:

  1. Autonomic Nervous System (ANS): The ANS is responsible for regulating many involuntary bodily functions, including heart rate, digestion, and respiratory rate. It has two primary branches: the sympathetic nervous system (SNS) and the parasympathetic nervous system (PNS).
  2. Sympathetic Nervous System (SNS): The SNS is often associated with the “fight or flight” response. When the SNS is activated, it prepares the body to deal with perceived threats by increasing heart rate, dilating pupils, and redirecting blood flow away from non-essential functions like digestion.
  3. Parasympathetic Nervous System (PNS): The PNS is responsible for promoting rest, relaxation, and digestion. It has two distinct branches: the ventral vagal complex (VVC) and the dorsal vagal complex (DVC).
  4. Ventral Vagal Complex (VVC): The VVC is associated with social engagement and connection. When it’s activated, it supports prosocial behaviors, empathy, and the ability to connect with others. It helps regulate the heart rate and allows for adaptive responses to social and environmental cues.
  5. Dorsal Vagal Complex (DVC): The DVC is associated with immobilization and shutdown responses. When activated, it can lead to behaviors such as freezing, dissociation, and extreme fear. It’s often involved in responses to severe threats or traumatic experiences.
  6. Hierarchy of Responses: Polyvagal Theory suggests that our nervous system responds hierarchically to perceived threats. The most evolved response is social engagement through the VVC, followed by mobilization through the SNS (fight or flight), and finally, immobilization or shutdown through the DVC.
  7. Neuroception: This concept refers to our subconscious ability to detect safety or danger cues in our environment. Neuroception helps determine which branch of the ANS becomes active in a given situation. If we perceive safety, the VVC is more likely to be engaged; if we perceive danger, the SNS or DVC may be activated.
  8. Trauma and Regulation: Understanding Polyvagal Theory can be particularly useful in the context of trauma therapy. Traumatic experiences can dysregulate the ANS, making it difficult for individuals to return to a state of safety and social engagement. Trauma-informed interventions can help individuals regulate their nervous system responses.

In summary, Polyvagal Theory provides a valuable framework for understanding how our autonomic nervous system influences our responses to stress, trauma, and social interactions. It emphasizes the importance of safety, connection, and regulation in promoting well-being and resilience. This theory has been influential in various fields, including psychology, psychiatry, and trauma therapy.

Shervan K Shahhian

The Optimistic outlook on life

The Optimistic outlook on life:

An optimistic outlook on life is a positive and hopeful attitude toward the future and the world around you. It involves expecting the best possible outcomes in various situations and believing that things will generally turn out well. Here are some key aspects of an optimistic outlook on life:

Positive Thinking: Optimistic individuals tend to focus on the positive aspects of a situation rather than dwelling on the negative. They look for silver linings and see challenges as opportunities for growth.

Resilience: Optimists are more resilient in the face of adversity. They believe that setbacks are temporary and that they can overcome difficulties through effort and determination.

Hopefulness: Optimists have a strong sense of hope and faith in the future. They believe that good things are on the horizon and that they have the power to shape their own destiny.

Gratitude: Optimistic people often express gratitude for the things they have in life. They appreciate the small joys and everyday blessings, which contributes to their positive outlook.

Problem-Solving: Rather than getting bogged down by problems, optimists approach challenges as puzzles to solve. They believe that solutions exist and are willing to work towards finding them.

Openness to Change: Optimists are generally more open to change and new experiences. They see change as a chance for personal growth and improvement.

Optimistic Language: They use positive language and avoid negative self-talk. This not only affects their mindset but also influences the way they communicate with others.

Social Connections: Optimists tend to have strong social networks because their positive attitude is often contagious and attractive to others.

Health Benefits: Research suggests that optimism can have physical and mental health benefits, including lower stress levels, better immune function, and increased longevity.

Future Orientation: Optimists are forward-looking and believe in setting goals and planning for the future. They have a sense of purpose and direction in their lives.

It’s important to note that being optimistic doesn’t mean ignoring the realities of life or being naive. Optimism is about maintaining a positive perspective while acknowledging challenges and setbacks. Cultivating an optimistic outlook can lead to a happier, more fulfilling life and can positively impact your overall well-being.

Shervan K Shahhian

Clairvoyance, what is it?

Clairvoyance, what is it:

Clairvoyance is often described as a psychic ability that allows individuals to gain information about people, events, or objects through extrasensory perception (ESP) without using the usual five senses of sight, hearing, touch, taste, or smell. A person who possesses clairvoyance is sometimes referred to as a clairvoyant.

Here are some key aspects of clairvoyance:

  1. Extrasensory Perception (ESP): Clairvoyance is considered a form of ESP, which encompasses a range of paranormal or psychic abilities that go beyond normal sensory perception.
  2. “Clear Seeing”: The term “clairvoyance” is derived from French words meaning “clear” (clair) and “vision” (voyance). It is often associated with “clear seeing,” where individuals claim to receive visual information about past, present, or future events, places, or people, even if they are not physically present.
  3. Types of Clairvoyance: There are various forms of clairvoyance, including:
    • Remote Viewing: This is the ability to see or describe distant or hidden objects, locations, or events without any prior knowledge.
    • Precognition: Clairvoyants who possess precognition claim to see or predict future events.
    • Retrocognition: This involves perceiving information about past events, often in a way that the clairvoyant could not have known through conventional means.
  4. Skeptical Perspective: It’s important to note that the existence of clairvoyance and other psychic abilities is a subject of controversy and skepticism within the scientific community. Many skeptics argue that there is no empirical evidence to support the existence of clairvoyance, and that many claims of clairvoyant abilities can be attributed to coincidence, suggestion, or other psychological factors.
  5. Belief and Practice: Despite the skepticism, clairvoyance has a long history in various cultures and has been a topic of interest in paranormal and New Age communities. Some people seek out clairvoyants for guidance, insight, or predictions about their lives.

It’s essential to approach claims of clairvoyance with critical thinking and discernment, as there is no scientific consensus or definitive proof to support the existence of this phenomenon. People’s experiences and beliefs regarding clairvoyance can vary widely, and its validity remains a topic of debate.

Shervan K Shahhian

Mind-reading, what does that mean?

Mind-reading, what does that mean:

​”Mind-reading” typically refers to the ability to discern or understand the thoughts, emotions, or intentions of another person without them explicitly expressing them through verbal or non-verbal communication. It’s a concept often depicted in science fiction, paranormal, and fantasy literature, where characters possess supernatural or advanced technological powers that enable them to access the thoughts and feelings of others.

In reality, mind-reading as depicted in fiction does exist. Some human beings can read each other’s minds in the way it’s often portrayed in movies or books. While we can sometimes make educated guesses about what someone might be thinking or feeling based on their expressions, body language, and verbal cues, Only some can directly access the thoughts or inner experiences of another person.

There are, however, ongoing scientific and technological developments related to brain-computer interfaces (BCIs) and neuroimaging that can provide insights into brain activity and, to some extent, allow for the interpretation of thoughts or intentions. Still, these technologies are far from being able to read minds in the way it’s commonly portrayed in fiction. They are primarily used for medical purposes, research, and, in some cases, to assist individuals with disabilities.

In summary, “mind-reading” refers to a supernatural or advanced technological ability to access the thoughts and emotions of others, while in reality, it remains a concept that exists in a fantastical form.
​Shervan K Shahhian


​Shervan K Shahhian