Author Archives: Shervan K Shahhian, LIBERTY PSYCHOLOGICAL ASSOCIATION, The Most Comprehensive Online Library Regarding Mental Health, Psychology and Parapsychology in the World.

Doctored Degree in Clinical Psychology (PSYD) (ABD) All But Dissertation, a Masters (M.A.) in Clinical Psychology, a Bachelor's Degree (B.A.) in Psychology, a Associate Degree (AA) in Liberal Arts with an emphases in Psychology, Certification in Anger Management, Certification in MRT-Moral Reconation Therapy®, Certification in Clinical Hypnotherapy, and Certification in Advanced Hypnotherapy.

Parapsychology: Out-of-Body Experiences (OBEs):

Out-of-Body Experiences (OBEs) maybe episodes where a person feels as if their awareness or “self” has left their physical body and is observing from an external vantage point, often from above.

Psychological & Neuroscience Perspective

From a clinical and research standpoint, OBEs are usually understood as alterations in body perception and self-location rather than literal separation from the body.

They’re linked to activity in the Temporoparietal Junction: ( CONSULT WITH A NEUROLOGIST) , a region that integrates sensory information (vision, touch, balance).
Disruptions here can create the sensation of “being outside” your body.
OBEs can occur during:
- Trauma or extreme stress
- Sleep states (especially sleep paralysis)
- Meditation or dissociative states
- Neurological conditions (e.g., epilepsy)

Some neurologist, may even induced OBE-like sensations in lab settings by electrically stimulating the TPJ.

Psychological Interpretation

In psychology, OBEs are often associated with:

Dissociation: (a temporary split between awareness and bodily experience)
Defense mechanisms under overwhelming stress
Altered states of consciousness (similar to deep meditation or trance)

They can feel very real, but that doesn’t necessarily mean the mind has literally left the body.

Parapsychology / Spiritual View

In fields like parapsychology, OBEs may sometimes interpreted as:

The “astral body” separating from the physical body
A form of consciousness traveling
Related to practices like remote viewing or lucid dreaming

Some researchers, like Charles Tart, studied OBEs to test whether perception can occur independently of the body, but strong, repeatable evidence remains limited.

What Does the Evidence Say?

OBEs are real experiences psychologically (people genuinely feel them).
But there’s no solid scientific proof or materialist researchers do not want to admit to its existence? that consciousness actually leaves the body or perceives distant physical reality during OBEs.
Most evidence points to mind based mechanisms.

Balanced Take

It’s useful to separate two things:

The experience itself: valid, often intense, meaningful
The interpretation of it: still debated (mind-based vs. non-local consciousness)

Interesting Overlap

OBEs share features with:

Lucid dreaming
Near-death experiences (NDEs)
Deep meditation states
Psychedelic experiences

All involve shifts in how the mind constructs self and space.

Shervan K Shahhian

“Radical Honesty” is a communication approach built around telling the truth as directly and completely as possible:

“Radical honesty” is a communication approach built around telling the truth as directly and completely as possible, especially about your own thoughts, feelings, and intentions, instead of filtering, softening, or avoiding discomfort.

At its core, it’s a reaction against the everyday habits most people rely on:

White lies, politeness scripts, emotional suppression, and strategic silence. The idea is that those habits create stress, distance, and confusion over time.

What it actually means in practice

Radical honesty isn’t just “saying whatever comes to mind.” Done well, it involves:

Owning your internal state
Instead of: “I’m fine.”
You say: “I’m actually feeling irritated and a bit hurt.”
Dropping social masks
You don’t pretend to agree, like something, or be okay when you’re not.
Admitting uncomfortable truths about yourself
Jealousy, insecurity, attraction, resentment, things people usually hide.
Speaking in real time
You address things as they arise instead of letting them build into resentment.

The upside

People who practice it seriously might often report:

Less internal tension (no energy spent “managing impressions”)
Clearer relationships (others know where they stand)
Faster conflict resolution (issues surface early)
A stronger sense of authenticity

The downside (and why it’s controversial)

Radical honesty may easily go wrong:

It can be hurtful if used without empathy
Brutal honesty or helpful honesty.
It can become self-centered
Dumping every thought or feeling on others isn’t always appropriate.
It ignores social context
Not every situation benefits from full transparency (workplaces, safety, power dynamics).
It can damage relationships
Especially if the other person hasn’t consented to that level of openness.

The difference between radical honesty and just “being blunt”

A useful distinction:

Bluntness: “That idea is terrible.”
Radical honesty: “I’m noticing I’m having a strong negative reaction to that idea, and I think it’s because I’m worried it won’t work.”

One is an attack. The other is self-revealing.

A more grounded way to use it

If you’re interested in the idea, a balanced version works better than going all in:

Be honest about your own experience, not judgments about others
Pair honesty with responsibility and empathy
Choose timing and context deliberately
Ask: “Is this true, necessary, and constructive?”

Radical honesty isn’t about removing all filters, it’s about replacing unconscious, fear based filtering with conscious, intentional communication.

Shervan K Shahhian

“Self-Trust” is basically your ability to rely on your own judgment, feelings, and decisions:

“Self-trust” is basically your ability to rely on your own judgment, feelings, and decisions, even when things are uncertain.

It doesn’t mean you’re always right. It means:

you believe you can figure things out
you listen to your internal signals (gut, values, intuition)
you don’t constantly outsource decisions to others
and when you mess up, you trust yourself to recover, not collapse

A lot of people think self-trust comes after confidence. It’s actually the opposite: it grows through small, consistent proof:

keeping promises to yourself
making decisions and standing by them
handling mistakes without spiraling

Shervan K Shahhian

Infidelity Recovery is the process couples (or individuals) go through after a betrayal:

Infidelity recovery is the process couples (or individuals) go through after a betrayal, typically emotional or sexual, to rebuild trust, process the trauma, and decide whether and how to move forward.

It’s not a quick “forgive and forget” situation. Psychologically, it resembles recovery from a relational trauma.

What Actually Happens After Infidelity

For the betrayed partner, the experience often mirrors symptoms of acute stress or even trauma:

Intrusive thoughts (“mind movies”)
Hypervigilance (checking, questioning)
Emotional swings (anger, grief, numbness)

For the partner who cheated:

Shame and defensiveness
Fear of losing the relationship
Sometimes minimization or avoidance early on

The 3 Core Phases of Recovery

1. Stabilization (Crisis Phase)

This is the immediate aftermath.

Focus:

Stopping the affair completely (no contact)
Establishing basic transparency (phones, schedules, etc.)
Creating emotional safety

Without this phase, nothing else works.

2. Meaning-Making

This is where things might get deeper, and harder.

The couple explores:

Why the infidelity happened (not excuses, but causes)
Relationship dynamics (disconnection, unmet needs, avoidance patterns)
Individual vulnerabilities (attachment styles, impulse control, etc.)

Therapies like Emotionally Focused Therapy or the Gottman Method are often used here.

3. Rebuilding Trust & Attachment

Trust is not rebuilt through words, it’s rebuilt through consistent behavior over time.

Key elements:

Radical honesty
Predictability and reliability
Emotional attunement
Willingness to answer painful questions (within reason)

Trust becomes earned evidence, not blind belief.

What Determines Whether a Relationship Recovers

Recovery maybe possible, but not guaranteed. It depends on:

Positive indicators:

Genuine remorse (not just guilt)
Full accountability (no blaming the partner)
Consistent transparency
Willingness to tolerate discomfort

Negative indicators:

Continued lying or partial truths
Defensiveness (“you pushed me to it”)
Rushing forgiveness
Repeated betrayals

Important Reality Check

Recovery doesn’t mean going back to the old relationship.

It means:

Either building a new, more conscious relationship
Or recognizing the relationship cannot be repaired and separating in a healthy way

Individual Recovery (If You’re the Betrayed Partner)

Even if the relationship ends, your work includes:

Rebuilding a sense of safety and self-trust
Processing grief and anger
Avoiding overgeneralization (“I can’t trust anyone”)

One Misconception to Drop

“Time heals this.”

Time alone does nothing.
Structured repair, emotional processing, and behavioral change do.

Shervan K Shahhian

A Gottman Therapist (CGT) refers to a clinician trained and certified in the Gottman Method Couples Therapy:

A Gottman Therapist (CGT) refers to a clinician trained and certified in the Gottman Method Couples Therapy, an approach developed by John Gottman and Julie Schwartz Gottman.

What “CGT” means

CGT = Certified Gottman Therapist
This is an advanced credential awarded by the Gottman Institute after extensive training, supervision, and evaluation.

What the Gottman Method is

It’s a research-based couples therapy approach grounded in decades of observational studies on relationships. The method focuses on improving:

Emotional connection
Communication patterns
Conflict management
Trust and commitment

Core concepts a CGT uses

A Certified Gottman Therapist typically works with ideas like:

The “Sound Relationship House” (a framework for healthy relationships)
The Four Horsemen (criticism, contempt, defensiveness, stonewalling)
Building love maps (deep knowledge of your partner)
Strengthening fondness and admiration
Repairing conflict rather than eliminating it

What makes a CGT different

Note that some therapist who uses Gottman techniques could be certified.

A CGT has:

Completed all levels of Gottman training
Possibly, Submitted recorded therapy sessions for review
Demonstrated competence in applying the method
Ongoing professional development

What to expect in sessions

With a CGT, therapy is usually:

Structured and goal-oriented
Based on assessment tools (questionnaires, interviews)
Focused on skills-building, not just talking
Often includes home exercises for couples

When people seek a CGT

Communication breakdown
Recurring conflict
Infidelity recovery
Emotional distance
Pre-marital counseling

Bottom line

A Certified Gottman Therapist (CGT) could be a highly trained couples therapist using one of the most empirically supported relationship models available today.

Shervan K Shahhian

Mindfulness Training is a way of learning to pay attention to your thoughts, feelings, and surroundings in the present moment:

Mindfulness training is a way of learning to pay attention to your thoughts, feelings, and surroundings in the present moment, without immediately judging or reacting to them. It could be widely used for stress reduction, emotional balance, and improving focus.

What mindfulness training involves

At its core, it’s about practicing awareness. Instead of getting caught up in worries about the future or replaying the past, you train your mind to stay with what’s happening right now.

Common elements include:

Focused attention (often on the breath)
Body awareness (noticing physical sensations)
Open monitoring (observing thoughts as they come and go)
Non-judgment (not labeling experiences as “good” or “bad”)
Popular mindfulness practices:

Breathing meditation

Sit quietly and focus on your breath, how it feels going in and out. When your mind wanders (it will), gently bring it back.

Body scan

Slowly move your attention through different parts of your body, noticing tension, warmth, or other sensations.

Mindful walking

Pay attention to each step, your balance, and the feeling of your feet touching the ground.

Everyday mindfulness

You can practice while eating, showering, or even washing dishes, just fully engage with the activity instead of doing it on autopilot.

Benefits backed by research

People who practice mindfulness regularly often report:

Lower stress and anxiety
Better concentration and memory
Improved emotional regulation
Better sleep
Reduced symptoms of depression
How to start (simple plan)

You don’t need anything fancy:

Start with 5 to 10 minutes a day
Use a timer
Sit comfortably, close your eyes (optional if safe), and focus on your breath
Expect distractions, it’s part of the training, not a failure
A realistic expectation

Mindfulness isn’t about “clearing your mind” or feeling calm all the time. It’s about becoming more aware of what’s happening inside you and responding more deliberately instead of reacting automatically.

Shervan K Shahhian

Cognitive Inhibition is the mental ability to suppress irrelevant thoughts, impulses, or distractions so you can focus on what matters:

In simpler terms, it’s your mind’s “filter” or “brake system.”

What it does

Stops you from saying or doing something impulsively
Helps you ignore distractions (noise, irrelevant info)
Prevents old or automatic responses when they’re not appropriate

Examples

Not blurting out an answer before thinking
Ignoring your phone while studying
Reading a paragraph without getting distracted by unrelated thoughts
In the Stroop task: saying the color of the word (“red” printed in blue ink: answer “blue,” not “red”)

Why it matters

Cognitive inhibition could be crucial for:

Attention and focus
Self-control
Problem-solving
Decision-making

It could be core part of executive functions, along with working memory and cognitive flexibility.

When it’s weak

Poor cognitive inhibition can lead to:

Impulsivity
Easily getting distracted
Difficulty concentrating
Trouble controlling emotions or behavior

It could be discussed in conditions like ADHD, but everyone varies in how strong this ability is.

Shervan K Shahhian

Attentional Control is the ability to deliberately direct, sustain, and shift your focus:

Attentional control is the ability to deliberately direct, sustain, and shift your focus rather than letting it be pulled automatically by distractions, emotions, or intrusive thoughts.

In psychology, it could be considered a core executive function that helps regulate thinking, behavior, and emotional responses.

What it actually means

At a practical level, attentional control involves three key capacities:

Focusing: staying locked onto a task (reading without drifting off)
Shifting: moving attention flexibly when needed (switching tasks efficiently)
Inhibiting: ignoring distractions (not checking your phone every minute)

How it works in the mind

Attentional control could be strongly tied to the prefrontal cortex (CONSULT WITH A NEUROLOGIST), the area maybe responsible for planning and self-regulation.

It works alongside networks involved in salience detection and emotional processing to decide:

“What deserves my attention right now?”

This connects directly to concepts like:

Executive Function
Selective Attention
Cognitive Inhibition

Why it matters

Strong attentional control maybe critical for:

Learning and memory
Performance under pressure
Emotional regulation (especially anxiety)
Goal-directed behavior

When it’s weaker, you tend to see:

Distractibility
Rumination
Anxiety loops (attention gets “captured” by threat signals)

This is why attentional control could be a major focus in treatments for things like Social Anxiety Disorder.

Simple example

Imagine you’re giving a presentation:

Low attentional control: You fixate on someone frowning: anxiety spikes: performance drops
High attentional control: You notice it, but redirect to your content: stay on track

Can it be trained?

Yes, Methods include:

Mindfulness training (strengthens sustained attention)
Controlled attentional exercises (deliberate focus shifting)
Exposure-based tasks (reducing threat-driven attention capture)
Cognitive techniques (reframing what gets priority)
Shervan K Shahhian

Social Phobia is when someone feels intense fear or anxiety in social situations:

Social phobia is when someone feels intense fear or anxiety in social situations, especially situations where they might be judged, embarrassed, or watched by others.

Common signs

Fear of talking to people, meeting new people, or being in groups
Worry about being judged, criticized, or humiliated
Avoiding social situations (school, work, events)
Physical symptoms like sweating, shaking, fast heartbeat, or nausea: CONSULT WITH A PSYCHIATRIST
Overthinking conversations before or after they happen

What it feels like

It’s not just “shyness.” It can feel overwhelming, like your mind is constantly telling you “people are judging me” or “I’ll embarrass myself.” That fear can make even simple interactions feel exhausting or scary.

Why it happens

There’s no single cause, but it’s usually a mix of:

Personality (being naturally more sensitive or shy)
Past experiences (like bullying or embarrassment)
Mind chemistry (how your mind processes fear): CONSULT WITH A PSYCHIATRIST

Good news: it’s treatable

People recover or improve a lot with the right support:

Therapy (especially CBT) helps change negative thought patterns
Gradual exposure (slowly facing social situations step by step)
Relaxation techniques (breathing, grounding)
Sometimes medication (if symptoms are severe): CONSULT WITH A PSYCHIATRIST

Small things that can help

Start with low-pressure interactions (like short conversations)
Don’t aim for perfection, aim for progress
Challenge negative thoughts (ask: “Is this really true?”)
Practice social skills in safe environments
Shervan K Shahhian

Social Anxiety Disorder is a mental health condition:

Social Anxiety Disorder (often called social phobia) is a mental health condition characterized by an intense, persistent fear of being judged, embarrassed, or negatively evaluated in social or performance situations.

It could be more than ordinary shyness. The anxiety is strong enough to interfere with daily functioning, relationships, work, school, or even routine activities like speaking up or making eye contact.

Core Features

People with Social Anxiety Disorder typically experience:

Fear of scrutiny: worrying others are watching, judging, or criticizing
Avoidance behaviors: skipping social events, meetings, or interactions
Physical symptoms: blushing, sweating, trembling, rapid heartbeat:(PLEASE CONSULT WITH A MEDICAL DOCTOR)
Anticipatory anxiety: intense worry before upcoming social situations
Post-event rumination: replaying interactions and focusing on perceived mistakes

Common Triggers

Public speaking or performing
Meeting new people
Eating or drinking in front of others
Being observed while working
Dating or authority interactions

Psychological Mechanisms

At a deeper level, SAD often involves:

Attentional bias inward: (hyper-awareness of one’s own behavior or symptoms)
Cognitive distortions: (“Everyone noticed I was nervous”)
Overestimation of social threat
Underestimation of coping ability

From a performance psychology perspective, it resembles a breakdown in attentional control, where self-monitoring overrides automatic social skills.

Causes (Multifactorial)

Biological: genetic predisposition, amygdala sensitivity: (PLEASE CONSULT WITH A MEDICAL DOCTOR)
Psychological: early negative social experiences, conditioning
Environmental: bullying, critical upbringing, cultural pressures

Treatment Approaches

Effective treatments include:

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT): restructuring distorted beliefs
Exposure therapy: gradual, controlled confrontation of feared situations
Medication: (CONSULT WITH A PSYCHIATRIST)
Attention training & mindfulness: shifting focus outward
Performance-based techniques: similar to those used in sports psychology

Important Distinction

Shyness: personality trait
Social Anxiety Disorder: clinically significant impairment and distress
Shervan k Shahhian