Love bombing is a psychological manipulation tactic where someone overwhelms another person with excessive affection, attention, praise, gifts, or promises early in a relationship in order to gain control or influence over them.

Key Characteristics:

Intense flattery and compliments

Lavish gifts or gestures

Constant communication (texts, calls, messages)

Pushing for quick commitment or declarations of love

Creating a sense of dependency or obligation

Where It’s Common:

Narcissistic relationships: Often used by narcissists to idealize their targets before devaluing and discarding them.

Cult recruitment: To create loyalty and dependency on the group or leader.

Abusive dynamics: As part of a cycle of abuse — idealization, devaluation, and discard.

Why It’s Harmful:

Initially, love bombing can feel flattering and exciting, but over time it’s often followed by emotional withdrawal, manipulation, or control. It can lead the victim to doubt their own perceptions, become isolated, or feel trapped in an unhealthy relationship.

Shervan K Shahhian

Narcissistic Abuse:

Narcissistic abuse refers to the psychological, emotional, and sometimes physical harm inflicted by someone with narcissistic traits or Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). This kind of abuse is often manipulative, controlling, and deeply damaging, though it can be subtle and hard to identify at first.

Common Signs of Narcissistic Abuse:

1. Gaslighting – Making you question your reality or sanity.
2. Love bombing – Overwhelming you with affection and attention early on, then withdrawing it to control you.
3. Devaluation – Criticizing, belittling, or undermining you after gaining your trust.
4. Triangulation – Involving others to manipulate or isolate you.
5. Blame shifting – Refusing responsibility and blaming you for problems.
6. Silent treatment – Withholding communication as punishment.
7. Projection – Accusing you of things they are actually doing.

Effects on Victims:

• Loss of self-esteem and identity
• Anxiety and depression
• PTSD or complex PTSD (C-PTSD)
• Emotional confusion and trauma bonding (feeling attached despite the abuse)

What to Do:

• Document behavior for your own clarity
• Set boundaries (and enforce them)
• Seek support – therapy, support groups, or trusted friends
• Consider no contact if the abuse is ongoing and severe

Shervan K Shahhian

Understanding the patterns of failure:

Understanding the patterns of failure means identifying recurring causes, conditions, or behaviors that lead to breakdowns, mistakes, or undesired outcomes in systems, individuals, or organizations. By examining these patterns, we gain insight into how and why things go wrong — and how to prevent similar failures in the future.

Here are some common patterns of failure across different domains:

1. In Systems or Projects

Lack of clear goals or planning
 → Projects fail due to vague objectives or poor initial design.

Scope creep
 → Gradual expansion beyond original goals, leading to resource strain.

Poor communication
 → Misunderstandings among team members or stakeholders.

Ignoring feedback loops
 → Not adjusting based on ongoing results or data.

2. In Personal Behavior or Habits

Repeating unconscious patterns
 → E.g., procrastination, avoidance, or self-sabotage.

Overconfidence bias
 → Underestimating challenges or overestimating abilities.

Fear of failure or success
 → Leading to hesitation, withdrawal, or inaction.

3. In Relationships or Teams

Assuming intentions
 → Misjudging others’ motives instead of clarifying.

Unresolved conflict
 → Letting tension grow instead of addressing it early.

Lack of trust or accountability
 → Weakens collaboration and shared purpose.

4. In Complex Adaptive Systems (e.g., economies, ecosystems)

Over-optimization
 → Systems become brittle and fail when stressed.

Delayed response to change
 → Resistance to adapt can lead to collapse.

Feedback ignored or misinterpreted
 → Early warning signs are missed.

How to Use Failure Patterns Constructively

Analyze post-mortems: After a failure, reflect deeply on what went wrong and why.

Look for recurring triggers: What always seems to precede failure?

Implement systemic changes: Address root causes, not symptoms.

Cultivate antifragility: Build systems or habits that learn from stress and adapt.

Shervan K Shahhian

Understanding self-discovery:
Self-discovery is the process of gaining insight into your own character, values, beliefs, motivations, and desires. It’s about understanding who you really are beneath social conditioning, expectations, and surface-level identities.

Key Aspects of Self-Discovery:

Self-awareness
Observing your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors without judgment.
Understanding how you react to situations and why.
Core values
Identifying what truly matters to you (e.g., freedom, love, truth, creativity).
These values guide your decisions and give your life meaning.
Beliefs and conditioning
Exploring the beliefs you’ve inherited from family, culture, or religion.
Asking: Do these still serve me? or Are they limiting me?
Life purpose and passion
Discovering what activities make you feel most alive and fulfilled.
This can lead to alignment with a deeper sense of purpose.
Shadow work
Acknowledging repressed aspects of yourself (fears, insecurities, past wounds).
Integrating these leads to healing and wholeness.
Authenticity
Living in a way that reflects your inner truth, rather than trying to please others.
Letting go of masks and embracing vulnerability.
How to Begin Self-Discovery:

Journaling: Reflect regularly on your thoughts, feelings, and experiences.
Meditation or mindfulness: Cultivate presence and clarity.
Reading or therapy: Gain language and insight into inner dynamics.
Life experiences: Pay attention to what challenges, inspires, or deeply moves you.
Explore subconscious knowledge and inner symbols.
Shervan K Shahhian

Neurodivergent Individuals, who are they:

“It is important to seek advice from a Psychiatrist”

Neurodivergent individuals are people whose neurological development and functioning differ from what is typically expected by societal norms. The term neurodivergent is part of the broader concept of neurodiversity, which recognizes that brain differences are natural variations of the human experience.

Who Falls Under the Neurodivergent Umbrella?

Neurodivergence can include (but is not limited to) people with:

• Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD)
• Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD)
• Dyslexia
• Dyspraxia
• Dyscalculia
• Tourette Syndrome
• Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD)
• Bipolar disorder or other mood-related differences (sometimes included depending on context)
• Sensory Processing Disorder

Some also include people with traumatic brain injuries or those experiencing complex PTSD under certain definitions of neurodivergence.

Key Points:

• Being neurodivergent is not inherently a disorder or deficit — it’s a different way of experiencing and interacting with the world.
• Neurodivergent people may face challenges in traditional systems (e.g., schools, workplaces) that are designed for neurotypical brains.
• They often have unique strengths — such as pattern recognition, creativity, hyperfocus, or alternative problem-solving approaches.

Shervan K Shahhian

Dark Thoughts, how to cope:

 Struggling with dark thoughts can feel isolating and overwhelming, but you don’t have to face them alone.

Here’s a grounded, layered approach to coping:

1. Don’t Face It Alone

Talk to someone you trust. A friend, family member, or a therapist.

If it’s intense or persistent, seek professional help — a psychologist or psychiatrist can offer real support and perspective.

You can also contact a crisis line if things feel urgent (let me know your location, and I can help find one near you).

2. Understand the Nature of the Thought

Dark thoughts often aren’t truths — they’re mental weather, not your identity.

Try journaling them without judgment. Write what the thought says, how it feels, and what might have triggered it.

3. Grounding Techniques

5–4–3–2–1 Technique: Name 5 things you see, 4 things you feel, 3 things you hear, 2 you smell, and 1 you taste.

Cold water on your face or holding ice can help shift mental gears.

4. Creative or Spiritual Outlets

Art, music, or writing can help channel those energies safely.

Meditation or prayer — not to escape, but to connect with a higher awareness or intelligence.

5. Shift the Inner Dialogue

Ask yourself:

Whose voice is this?

Would I say this to a friend? Try to counter with gentle truths, even if they feel small: “This is hard, but I am still here. I don’t have to believe every thought I think.”

You’re not alone in having dark moments — but what you do with them defines your strength, not the fact that they’re there.

Shervan K Shahhian