mental-health – LIBERTY PSYCHOLOGICAL ASSOCIATION

Catfishing maybe a form of deception in which someone creates a false online identity to manipulate,…

Catfishing maybe a form of deception in which someone creates a false online identity to manipulate, deceive, or exploit another person. The fake identity may involve stolen photos, a fabricated biography, or lies about age, occupation, relationship status, location, or intentions.

Common Reasons People Catfish

People may catfish for different reasons, including:

Seeking emotional attention or validation.
Escaping loneliness or low self-esteem.
Financial scams (“romance scams”).
Identity theft or fraud.
Revenge or harassment.
Entertainment or “trolling.”
Grooming or exploiting vulnerable individuals.

Common Warning Signs

Some red flags may include:

They refuse to video chat or meet in person despite months of communication.
They have excuses for why they cannot meet (“I’m overseas,” “My camera is broken,” “I’m working on a secret project.”).
Their photos appear unusually professional or model like.
Their stories frequently change or contain inconsistencies.
They declare love or deep emotional attachment very quickly.
They ask for money, gift cards, cryptocurrency, or financial help.
They avoid answering direct personal questions.
Their social media presence is sparse, newly created, or lacks interactions from real friends.
They pressure you to keep the relationship secret.

Emotional Manipulation Techniques

Catfishers may often use psychological tactics such as:

Love bombing: Excessive affection and compliments early in the relationship.
Emotional dependency: Making you feel like you’re the only person who understands them.
Creating crises: Constant emergencies requiring emotional or financial support.
Guilt: Making you feel responsible if you question them.
Isolation: Encouraging you to withdraw from family and friends.

How to Protect Yourself

Reverse search their profile photos using a search engine.
Ask for a live video call early in the relationship.
Verify details they tell you through public information when appropriate.
Never send money or share sensitive financial information.
Trust your instincts if something feels “off.”
Talk to trusted friends or family, they may notice warning signs you miss.

What to Do If You Think You’re Being Catfished

Stop sending money or personal information.
Save screenshots and messages as evidence.
Ask for a live video call or another form of identity verification.
End contact if they continue making excuses or become manipulative.
Report the account to the platform where you met.
If money was involved, contact your bank immediately and report the fraud to the appropriate authorities.

Psychological Impact

Being catfished may lead to:

Betrayal and loss of trust
Shame or embarrassment
Anxiety and depression
Grief over the loss of what felt like a real relationship
Difficulty trusting future partners

It’s important to remember that catfishing relies on deception. Intelligent, cautious people may still become victims because scammers often exploit normal human needs for connection, affection, and companionship.

Shervan K Shahhian

Self-Destructive Behaviors are patterns of thinking or acting that cause harm,…

Please, Consult with a Medical Doctor/Psychiatrist

Self-Destructive Behaviors are patterns of thinking or acting that cause harm to a person’s physical, emotional, social, financial, or psychological well-being, either immediately or over time. Sometimes these behaviors are intentional, but they maybe indirect or unconscious attempts to cope with overwhelming emotions, trauma, stress, or unmet psychological needs.

Self-destructive behaviors may provide temporary relief from emotional pain, but they usually create greater problems in the long run.

Common Types of Self-Destructive Behaviors

1. Physical Self-Harm

Deliberately injuring oneself without suicidal intent: Please, Consult with a Medical Doctor/Psychiatrist

Examples: Please, Consult with a Medical Doctor/Psychiatrist

Cutting
Burning
Hitting oneself
Scratching until bleeding
Hair pulling (in some cases)

Possible functions:

Reducing emotional distress
Feeling something during emotional numbness
Self-punishment
Regaining a sense of control

2. Substance Misuse and Abuse: Please, Consult with a Medical Doctor/Psychiatrist

Using alcohol or drugs in ways that damage health or functioning.

Examples:

Alcohol misuse and abuse: Please, Consult with a Medical Doctor/Psychiatrist
Misuse of prescription medications: Please, Consult with a Medical Doctor/Psychiatrist
Illicit drug use and abuse: Please, Consult with a Medical Doctor/Psychiatrist
Repeated intoxication despite consequences: Please, Consult with a Medical Doctor/Psychiatrist

Reasons may include:

Escaping painful emotions
Coping with trauma
Temporary emotional relief
Social pressure
Self numbing

3. Self-Sabotage

Behaviors that undermine one’s own success and/or well-being and/or future.

Examples:

Missing important deadlines
Procrastination that repeatedly causes serious consequences
Quitting meaningful goals prematurely
Damaging healthy relationships
Turning down opportunities because of fear of success

Often associated with:

Fear of failure
Fear of success
Low self-esteem
Perfectionism
Self Sabotage
Self hate

4. Risk-Taking Behaviors

Engaging in unnecessarily dangerous activities.

Examples:

Reckless driving
Unsafe sexual behavior: Please, Consult with a Medical Doctor/Psychiatrist
Dangerous thrill seeking
Repeated physical fights

These behaviors may reflect:

Impulsivity
Sensation seeking
Difficulty regulating emotions
Self-sabotage

5. Disordered Eating

Eating behaviors that significantly harm physical health or psychological health: Please, Consult with a Medical Doctor/Psychiatrist

Examples: Please, Consult with a Medical Doctor/Psychiatrist

Restrictive eating
Binge eating
Purging
Compulsive overeating

These behaviors may often be linked to:

Emotional regulation
Body image concerns
Anxiety
Trauma

6. Staying in Harmful Relationships

Remaining in relationships that involve emotional, physical, or psychological harm.

Reasons may include:

Fear of abandonment
Trauma bonding
Low self-worth
Financial dependence
Hope that the other person will change

7. Chronic Negative Self-Talk

Persistent self-criticism that reinforces emotional suffering.

Examples:

“I’m worthless.”
“I always fail.”
“No one will ever love me.”

Over time, this can contribute to depression, anxiety, and reduced self-confidence.

8. Neglecting Basic Self-Care: Please, Consult with a Medical Doctor/Psychiatrist

Ignoring fundamental physical and emotional needs.

Examples:

Poor sleep habits: Please, Consult with a Medical Doctor/Psychiatrist
Skipping meals: Please, Consult with a Medical Doctor/Psychiatrist
Avoiding medical care: Please, Consult with a Medical Doctor/Psychiatrist
Poor hygiene
Social isolation

9. Financial Self-Destruction

Patterns of behavior that repeatedly create financial hardship.

Examples:

Compulsive spending
Gambling
Refusing to budget
Accumulating unmanageable debt

Why Do People Engage in Self-Destructive Behaviors?

These behaviors often serve a psychological function rather than reflecting a genuine desire for harm.

Possible common contributing factors include:

Trauma or adverse childhood experiences
Depression
Anxiety disorders
Personality disorders
Substance use disorders: Please, Consult with a Medical Doctor/Psychiatrist
Chronic stress
Shame or guilt
Emotional dysregulation
Poor coping skills
Low self-esteem
Learned patterns from family or environment

From a psychological perspective, the behavior may temporarily reduce distress through negative reinforcement, the relief strengthens the likelihood of repeating the behavior, even though it has harmful long-term consequences.

Psychological Theories

Several frameworks help explain self-destructive behavior:

Cognitive Behavioral Theory (CBT): Maladaptive beliefs (“I deserve to suffer”) and unhelpful thinking patterns contribute to harmful behaviors.
Psychodynamic Theory: Unconscious conflicts, unresolved trauma, or self-punitive tendencies may underlie the behavior.
Attachment Theory: Insecure attachment and early relational experiences can influence later patterns of self-neglect or self-sabotage.
Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT): Emphasizes that self-destructive behaviors often function as attempts to regulate intense emotions or cope with distress.
Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT): Suggests that efforts to avoid or control painful internal experiences can paradoxically lead to behaviors that move a person away from their values.

Warning Signs

A person may be at increased risk if they:

Repeatedly harm themselves physically or emotionally: Please, Consult with a Medical Doctor/Psychiatrist
Engage in escalating risky behaviors: Please, Consult with a Medical Doctor/Psychiatrist
Express persistent hopelessness or worthlessness
Withdraw from friends and family
Neglect basic needs
Continue harmful behaviors despite significant negative consequences

Treatment

Treatment depends on the underlying causes but may include:

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)
Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), particularly for emotion regulation and self-harm
Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)
Trauma focused therapies (such as EMDR, when appropriate)
Motivational Interviewing for substance-related concerns
Medication when indicated for conditions such as depression or anxiety
Peer support and skills groups
Safety planning when there is a risk of self-harm or suicide

Can Self-Destructive Behaviors Change?

Yes. Some research shows that these behaviors maybe learned coping strategies, and with appropriate treatment and support, they may be replaced by healthier ways of managing stress and emotions.

Recovery typically involves:

Identifying triggers
Learning emotion regulation skills
Challenging unhelpful beliefs
Building self-compassion
Strengthening supportive relationships
Developing coping strategies that align with personal values

Key Point: Please, Consult with a Medical Doctor/Psychiatrist

Self-destructive behaviors are generally symptoms of underlying psychological distress, not personality flaws or evidence of weak character. Understanding the purpose these behaviors serve is an important step toward replacing them with healthier, more adaptive coping strategies. If someone is engaging in these behaviors frequently or they are escalating in severity, a comprehensive evaluation by a qualified mental health professional may help identify contributing factors and guide effective treatment.

Shervan K Shahhian

Psychological Wounds may refer to emotional or mental injuries:

Psychological Wounds may refer to emotional or mental injuries that individuals experience as a result of traumatic events, adverse experiences, or ongoing stressors. These wounds may manifest in various ways and impact a person’s thoughts, feelings, behaviors, and overall well-being.

Here’s a breakdown of some possible key aspects:

Causes: Psychological wounds may arise from a wide range of experiences, including childhood trauma, abuse, neglect, accidents, loss of a loved one, bullying, discrimination, relationship issues, financial problems, or exposure to violence or disaster.
Types: Psychological wounds may take many forms, including anxiety disorders, depression, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), complex trauma, attachment disorders, substance abuse, eating disorders, and various other mental health conditions.
Symptoms: Symptoms of psychological wounds may vary widely depending on the individual and the nature of the trauma. Common symptoms may include intrusive thoughts or memories, flashbacks, nightmares, emotional numbness, avoidance of reminders of the trauma, hypervigilance, mood swings, irritability, difficulty concentrating, changes in appetite or sleep patterns, self-destructive behaviors, and struggles with self-esteem and relationships.
Impact: Psychological wounds may have a profound impact on a person’s life, affecting their ability to function effectively in various areas such as work, school, relationships, and daily activities. They may also lead to physical health problems due to the interconnectedness of mental and physical well-being.
Healing: Recovery from psychological wounds often involves seeking professional help from therapists, counselors, or psychologists who specialize in trauma treatment. Healing may also involve support from friends, family, support groups, and self-care practices such as mindfulness, exercise, creative outlets, and relaxation techniques. It’s important to note that healing is a gradual process and may involve setbacks or relapses along the way.
Resilience: Despite the challenges posed by psychological wounds, some individuals demonstrate remarkable resilience and are able to overcome their trauma, rebuild their lives, and even find meaning and growth through their experiences. Supportive relationships, a sense of purpose, and a positive outlook on life may all contribute to resilience in the face of adversity.

Understanding psychological wounds is crucial for providing support and empathy to those who are struggling, as well as for promoting mental health awareness and advocacy in society. It’s essential to recognize that psychological wounds are real and valid, and that healing is possible with the right resources and support.

Shervan K Shahhian

Psychotherapy encompasses a wide range of techniques:

Psychotherapy encompasses a wide range of techniques, each tailored to address different psychological issues and client needs.

Here are some major variations of psychotherapy techniques, (the explanations of each therapy is theocratical, not matter of fact):

1. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)

Focus: Changing negative thought patterns and behaviors.
Techniques: Cognitive restructuring, exposure therapy, and behavioral activation.

2. Psychodynamic Therapy

Focus: Unconscious processes and past experiences.
Techniques: Free association, dream analysis, and transference interpretation.

3. Humanistic Therapy

Focus: Personal growth and self-actualization.
Techniques: Client centered therapy, Gestalt therapy, and existential therapy.

4. Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT)

Focus: Emotion regulation and interpersonal effectiveness.
Techniques: Mindfulness, distress tolerance, and emotion regulation strategies.

5. Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)

Focus: Accepting thoughts and feelings while committing to values-based actions.
Techniques: Mindfulness, cognitive diffusion, and values clarification.

6. Interpersonal Therapy (IPT)

Focus: Improving interpersonal relationships.
Techniques: Role playing, communication analysis, and exploring relationship patterns.

7. Family Therapy

Focus: Family dynamics and communication.
Techniques: Structural therapy, strategic therapy, and systemic therapy.

8. Group Therapy

Focus: Interpersonal interaction in a group setting.
Techniques: Process groups, support groups, and psychoeducational groups.

9. Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR)

Focus: Processing traumatic memories.
Techniques: Bilateral stimulation (eye movements, taps, sounds), cognitive restructuring.

10. Mindfulness-Based Therapy

Focus: Increasing awareness and acceptance of the present moment.
Techniques: Mindfulness meditation, body scan, and mindful breathing.

11. Art Therapy

Focus: Expressing emotions through creative processes.
Techniques: Drawing, painting, sculpting, and other forms of artistic expression.

12. Play Therapy

Focus: Helping the young express emotions and resolve conflicts through play.
Techniques: Role playing, storytelling, and use of toys and games.

13. Solution-Focused Brief Therapy (SFBT)

Focus: Building solutions rather than solving problems.
Techniques: Miracle question, scaling questions, and identifying exceptions.

14. Hypnotherapy: (alternative mental health)

Focus: Utilizing hypnosis to address various psychological issues.
Techniques: Induction, deepening, and post hypnotic suggestions.

15. Integrative or Eclectic Therapy

Focus: Combining elements from different therapeutic approaches.
Techniques: Tailored interventions based on client’s needs and therapist’s expertise.

Each of these techniques has its own theoretical foundations, methods, and areas of application, making it possible for therapists to choose and adapt their approach according to the specific needs of their clients.

Shervan K Shahhian

Grief is a natural, universal response to loss:

Grief is a natural, universal response to loss. Although it is most often associated with the death of a loved one, grief may also follow divorce, the loss of health, unemployment, miscarriage, the end of a relationship, or any significant life change. There may not be a single “correct” way to grieve. People’s responses vary widely depending on their personality, culture, beliefs, relationship to what was lost, coping skills, and available support.

Here are some of the broad categories of normal human responses to grief and loss:

1. Emotional Responses

These could be the most recognizable aspects of grief.

Sadness and sorrow
Yearning or longing for the person or what was lost
Crying spells
Anger or irritability
Guilt or regret
Anxiety or fear
Loneliness
Emotional numbness
Relief (especially after a prolonged illness or suffering)
Love and gratitude
Hope that gradually returns
Moments of joy mixed with sadness
Substance abuse

Experiencing positive emotions may not mean that someone loved the person less.

2. Cognitive (Thinking) Responses

Grief may affect how people think and process information.

Difficulty concentrating
Forgetfulness
Confusion
Feeling mentally “foggy”
Preoccupation with the deceased or the loss
Replaying events repeatedly
Questioning meaning or purpose
Changes in priorities
Wondering “What if…?”
Temporary disbelief or feeling the loss isn’t real

3. Physical Responses: Consult with a Medical Doctor.

Grief is experienced throughout the body: Consult with a Medical Doctor.

Fatigue
Sleep disturbances
Appetite changes
Headaches
Muscle tension
Chest tightness
Feeling physically weak
Upset stomach or digestive problems
Changes in energy
Increased sensitivity to illness

These symptoms maybe common and often lessen with time.

4. Behavioral Responses

People may change how they behave while grieving.

Withdrawing from others
Seeking social support
Crying
Talking about the deceased
Visiting meaningful places
Keeping belongings
Looking at photographs
Changes in work performance
Restlessness
Reduced motivation
Temporary forgetfulness
Increased religious or spiritual activities

5. Social Responses

Grief may influence relationships.

Wanting more companionship
Wanting solitude
Feeling misunderstood
Becoming closer to family
Conflict with others due to different grieving styles
Reduced participation in social activities
Seeking support groups

6. Spiritual or Existential Responses

Many people reconsider life’s deeper questions.

Searching for meaning
Questioning faith
Strengthening spiritual beliefs or the opposite
Feeling angry with God
Wondering about life after death
Reflecting on mortality
Reassessing personal values
Developing greater appreciation for life

7. Sensory and Perceptual Experiences

Many bereaved people may report experiences that can be startling but are generally considered normal during grieving.

These may include:

Briefly seeing the deceased
Hearing the deceased’s voice
Sensing their presence
Vivid dreams of the deceased
Smelling a familiar perfume or scent
Feeling as though the person is nearby

These experiences maybe called bereavement related anomalous experiences or after death communications (ADCs) in bereavement research. They are surprisingly common, are not usually signs of mental illness, and often provide comfort rather than distress.

8. Continuing Bonds

Modern grief research recognizes that many people may maintain an ongoing psychological connection with the deceased.

Examples include:

Talking to themselves: deceased
Keeping traditions alive
Feeling guided by their memory
Carrying treasured possessions
Celebrating birthdays or anniversaries
Living according to values they shared

This is described by the Continuing Bonds Theory and is generally viewed as a healthy aspect of adaptation when it supports rather than interferes with daily life.

9. Meaning Making and Growth

Over time, some people begin to integrate the loss into their lives.

This may include:

Greater resilience
Increased compassion
Changed life priorities
Stronger relationships
Personal growth
New purpose
Increased appreciation for life
Deeper spirituality
Acceptance of life’s uncertainty

This process is sometimes referred to as post traumatic growth, although not everyone experiences it.

Common Features of Normal Grief

Normal grief may include:

Waves of intense emotion that gradually become less overwhelming
Good days and bad days
Emotional “triggers” from anniversaries, music, or places
Missing the deceased for years while still living a meaningful life
Gradual adaptation rather than “getting over” the loss

Grief may not be a series of neat stages. While the ideas: (denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance) are well known, in modern psychology recognizes that grief is highly individual. People may experience some, all, or none of these reactions, and not in any particular order.

When Grief May Need Professional Support

While grief itself may not be a mental disorder, professional evaluation can be helpful if someone experiences:

Persistent inability to function for an extended period
Intense despair that does not gradually soften over time
Persistent feelings that life is not worth living
Severe depression or anxiety
Heavy reliance on alcohol or drugs
Symptoms consistent with Prolonged Grief Disorder, where intense grief remains persistent and significantly impairs daily life well beyond what is typical for the person’s cultural context.

The Bottom Line

Grief affects the whole person, emotionally, physically, mentally, socially, spiritually, and behaviorally. Most grief reactions, even those that feel unusual (such as sensing the presence of a deceased loved one), fall within the broad spectrum of normal human responses to loss. Rather than following a predictable sequence, healthy grieving usually involves gradually learning to live with the loss while maintaining a meaningful connection to what or whom has been lost.

Shervan K Shahhian

Parapsychology: Anomalous Cognition (AC) is a term used primarily in parapsychology:

Anomalous Cognition (AC) is a term used primarily in parapsychology to describe the acquisition of information without any known sensory, inferential, or conventional means of communication. The term was introduced to avoid assumptions about the mechanism involved (such as “telepathy” or “clairvoyance”).

Definition

Anomalous cognition could be defined as:

The apparent acquisition of accurate information about an object, person, place, or event through means not explained by the known senses or ordinary reasoning.

The term may deliberately descriptive rather than explanatory. It simply states that the information appears anomalous, it may not claim to know how it occurred.

Why the Term Was Created

Researchers might have moved away from terms like:

Telepathy

Clairvoyance

Precognition

ESP (Extrasensory Perception)

because those terms could imply specific mechanisms.

Instead, “anomalous cognition” may allow researchers to investigate unusual information acquisition without assuming whether it is due to psi, unknown psychological processes, statistical chance, or some other explanation.

Examples of Anomalous Cognition Research

Researchers may have studied anomalous cognition using controlled laboratory experiments such as:

Remote Viewing: describing distant locations or hidden targets.

Ganzfeld Experiments: testing for information transfer under sensory reduction.

Forced choice ESP Tests: guessing hidden symbols or cards.

Free response Experiments: describing unknown images or events.

Dream Telepathy Studies: examining whether dreams contain information about target images.

Proposed Types of Information Acquisition

If anomalous cognition exists, it may include information that appears to come from:

another person’s thoughts (telepathy)

distant locations (clairvoyance)

future events (precognition)

hidden objects

unknown facts later verified

Whether these are truly distinct phenomena or different expressions of the same underlying process remains an open question.

Scientific Status

The scientific community remains divided.

Supportive researchers argue:

Some laboratory studies report small but statistically significant effects that are difficult to explain by chance alone.

Meta analyses of certain paradigms, such as Ganzfeld and some remote viewing studies, may have found effects above chance, though interpretations remain debated.

The evidence warrants continued investigation.

Controversial skeptical researchers always argue:

Findings are often small and difficult to replicate consistently.

Methodological issues, publication bias, sensory leakage, or statistical artifacts may explain the results.

There is no widely accepted theoretical mechanism consistent with established physics or neuroscience.

As a result, anomalous cognition is not accepted as an established phenomenon within mainstream controversial psychology or neuroscience, though it remains an very active topic of research in parapsychology and consciousness studies.

Difference Between Anomalous Cognition and Remote Viewing

Anomalous cognition is the general phenomenon of apparently acquiring information by unknown means.

Remote viewing is a specific experimental protocol designed to test anomalous cognition under controlled conditions.

In other words:

Remote Viewing is one method used to investigate anomalous cognition.

Related Concepts

Parapsychology

Psychical Research

Remote Viewing

Ganzfeld experiments

Telepathy

Clairvoyance

Precognition

Anomalous experiences

Consciousness studies

Summary

Anomalous cognition is a neutral scientific term used in parapsychology for the apparent acquisition of information through means not currently explained by known sensory processes or conventional communication. It does not assume that psi exists; rather, it provides a framework for investigating such claims while remaining agnostic about the underlying mechanism. Although some researchers interpret certain experimental findings as suggestive of anomalous cognition, the evidence remains controversial, and the phenomenon has not been established as part of mainstream controversial scientific consensus.

Shervan K Shahhian

Parapsychology: Bereavement Apparitions are experiences in which a person perceives,…

Bereavement Apparitions are experiences in which a person perceives the presence of a deceased loved one after that person’s death. These experiences are surprisingly common and are often reported during the grieving process.

Common Types of Bereavement Apparitions

People may report:

Seeing: the deceased person briefly.
Hearing: their voice.
Feeling their presence: in the room.
Sensing a touch: such as a hand on the shoulder.
Smelling a familiar scent: associated with the deceased.
Having vivid visitation dreams: that feel unusually real.

How Common Are They?

Research in grief psychology and psychical research suggests that bereaved individuals report some form of post death sensory or presence experience. Many people who have these experiences do not have a mental illness and may find them comforting rather than distressing.

Psychological Perspective

Psychologists often view bereavement apparitions as a normal part of adapting to loss. Possible explanations include:

The mind’s continued expectation that the loved one is present.
Strong emotional bonds and attachment.
Memory and perception processes during grief.
Dreams and altered states occurring during bereavement.

From this perspective, the experience does not necessarily indicate a psychiatric disorder: please, consult with a Psychiatrist.

Parapsychological Perspective

Within the field of Parapsychology, some researchers have considered whether certain bereavement apparitions might represent evidence for the survival of consciousness after death. This remains controversial and has not been accepted as established by stereotypical mainstream science.

When to Seek Help

Bereavement apparitions are generally not considered a problem if they:

Are brief and comforting.
Occur in the context of normal grief.
Do not impair daily functioning.

Professional evaluation may be helpful if the experiences are highly distressing, persistent, involve dangerous commands, or occur alongside other symptoms of psychosis or severe mental illness: please, consult with a Psychiatrist.

Example

A widow may wake during the night and clearly see her deceased husband sitting in a favorite chair for a few seconds before the image fades. She recognizes that her spouse has died, but the experience feels vivid and comforting. This would be a classic example of a bereavement apparition.

Many grief counselors today view such experiences as part of the broad range of normal human responses to loss, regardless of whether they are interpreted psychologically, spiritually, or parapsychologically.

Shervan K Shahhian

Machiavellianism maybe a personality trait characterized by strategic manipulation:

Machiavellianism is a personality trait characterized by strategic manipulation, emotional detachment, and a focus on personal gain or power. The term comes from Niccolò Machiavelli, whose writings, especially The Prince, were interpreted as emphasizing pragmatic, sometimes ruthless political strategy.

Key characteristics

Manipulative behavior: influencing others to achieve one’s goals.
Strategic thinking: planning several steps ahead.
Emotional detachment: making decisions with less regard for feelings.
Cynicism: assuming others are motivated by self-interest.
Focus on power, status, or advantage: prioritizing outcomes over relationships.

Common behaviors

A person high in Machiavellianism might:

Use flattery strategically.
Withhold information when it benefits them.
Form alliances for practical reasons rather than emotional closeness.
Exploit weaknesses or conflicts between people.
Appear charming while pursuing a hidden agenda.

Machiavellianism vs. healthy influence

Healthy influence	Machiavellian influence
Transparent communication	Hidden motives
Mutual benefit	Primarily self-benefit
Respect for boundaries	Willingness to bend boundaries
Empathy and trust	Calculated use of trust
Long-term healthy relationships	Long-term control or advantage

The “Dark Triad”

In psychology, Machiavellianism maybe grouped with:

Machiavellianism

Strategic manipulation

Manipulation and strategic exploitation

Narcissism

Grandiosity

Grandiosity and need for admiration

Psychopathy

Low empathy

Low empathy, impulsivity, and callousness

Together they are called the Dark Triad. Someone may be high in one trait and not necessarily high in the others.

Is Machiavellianism a disorder?

No. It maybe considered a personality trait, not a mental disorder. However, very high levels may contribute to interpersonal problems, unethical behavior, workplace conflict, or exploitative relationships.

Signs in relationships

Potential red flags

Repeated pattern

Frequent guilt tripping or emotional leverage
Selective honesty
Playing people against each other
Keeping score of favors
Using affection, attention, or approval as a bargaining tool
Rarely accepting responsibility when caught manipulating

What research says

Studies generally find that people higher in Machiavellianism tend to:

Be effective in short term competitive situations.
Excel at reading social dynamics.
Have lower levels of empathy and trust.
Experience more unstable or conflict-prone relationships.
Be viewed as less trustworthy over time.

A simple example

Healthy negotiation: “Let’s find a solution that works for both of us.”

Machiavellian approach: “If I make them feel guilty and reveal only part of the information, I can get the outcome I want.”

The key difference

Intent matters

The key difference is not simply being strategic. Strategic thinking is normal and often healthy. Machiavellianism involves using strategy, manipulation, and emotional leverage primarily for personal advantage, often with little concern for the other person’s wellbeing.

Shervan K Shahhian

Emotional Blackmail is a form of psychological manipulation:

Emotional Blackmail is a form of psychological manipulation in which someone uses fear, obligation, guilt, shame, or affection to pressure another person into doing what they want. The goal is to control another person’s behavior by exploiting the relationship rather than communicating openly and respectfully.

How Emotional Blackmail Works

It often follows a predictable pattern:

A demand

The person wants you to do something.

Example: “You need to cancel your plans and stay with me.”

Resistance

You politely decline or express your own needs.

Pressure

They increase the emotional pressure.

They may criticize, guilt trip, threaten, or play the victim.

Compliance

You give in to stop the conflict or avoid feeling guilty.

Repetition

They learn that this strategy works and continue using it.

Common Tactics

1. Guilt Tripping

Making you feel responsible for their emotions.

Examples:

“After everything I’ve done for you…”

“You’re so selfish.”

“A good son/daughter would help.”

2. Fear

Creating fear of consequences.

Examples:

“If you leave me, I’ll never recover.”

“You’ll regret this.”

“Don’t expect me to be there for you.”

3. Obligation

Making you feel indebted.

Examples:

“You owe me.”

“I sacrificed everything for you.”

4. Shame

Attacking your character.

Examples:

“You’re a terrible friend.”

“Only bad people would say no.”

5. Silent Treatment

Using withdrawal of affection or communication as punishment.

Examples:

Ignoring texts.

Refusing to speak for days.

6. Playing the Victim

Presenting themselves as helpless to make you feel guilty.

Examples:

“Nobody cares about me.”

“Everyone abandons me.”

7. Conditional Love

Making affection dependent on obedience.

Examples:

“If you loved me, you would…”

“I thought you cared about me.”

The FOG Model

F – Fear

Fear of conflict, rejection, abandonment, or punishment.

O – Obligation

Feeling you “should” do what they ask.

G – Guilt

Feeling like a bad person for saying no.

When you’re in FOG, it becomes difficult to make decisions based on your own values and needs.

Why People Use Emotional Blackmail

Not everyone who uses these tactics is intentionally malicious. Some people learned these behaviors growing up or use them because they struggle to communicate their needs effectively. Others may use them deliberately to gain control.

Possible reasons include:

Poor emotional regulation
Fear of abandonment
Insecure attachment
Learned family patterns
Desire for control
Certain personality traits or disorders (though emotional blackmail is not specific to any one diagnosis)

Signs You May Be Experiencing Emotional Blackmail

You might notice that:

You constantly feel guilty for saying no.
You feel responsible for someone else’s happiness.
You walk on eggshells.
You often give in just to keep the peace.
Your boundaries are repeatedly ignored.
You feel anxious before expressing your own needs.

Signs You May Be Experiencing Emotional Blackmail

You might notice that:

You constantly feel guilty for saying no.

You feel responsible for someone else’s happiness.

You walk on eggshells.

You often give in just to keep the peace.

Your boundaries are repeatedly ignored.

You feel anxious before expressing your own needs.

Healthy Ways to Respond

Stay calm and avoid reacting impulsively.

Acknowledge their feelings without accepting unfair responsibility.

“I understand you’re upset.”

Repeat your boundary clearly.

“I can’t do that.”

Avoid lengthy justifications, which may invite further pressure.

Recognize guilt as a feeling, not proof that you’ve done something wrong.

If the pattern is ongoing, consider limiting contact or seeking support from trusted friends or a mental health professional.

Example

Emotional Blackmail

Person A: “I can’t lend you money this month.”

Person B: “I guess you don’t care if I end up homeless. After everything I’ve done for you.”

The second response attempts to create guilt rather than discuss the situation constructively.

Healthy Alternative

Person A: “I can’t lend you money this month.”

Person B: “I’m disappointed, but I understand. I’ll look for other options.”

This response expresses emotion while respecting the other person’s decision.

Key Point

Emotional blackmail differs from healthy emotional expression. It’s normal for people to express sadness, disappointment, or frustration. It becomes emotional blackmail when those emotions are used as tools of pressure or control, rather than shared honestly in a way that respects the other person’s autonomy and boundaries.

Shervan K Shahhian

Trauma Bonding could be a strong emotional attachment that develops between,…

Trauma bonding could be a strong emotional attachment that develops between a person and someone who repeatedly harms, manipulates, or abuses them. The bond forms through a recurring cycle of abuse followed by kindness, affection, apologies, or promises to change. This pattern may make it very difficult for the victim to leave the relationship, even when they recognize it is harmful.

It is important to distinguish trauma bonding from healthy love. A trauma bond is maintained by fear, dependency, intermittent rewards, and emotional confusion, not by mutual respect, trust, and safety.

How Trauma Bonding Develops

Trauma bonds may typically develop through a repeating cycle:

Love and idealization
- The relationship begins with affection, attention, or excessive praise (sometimes called love bombing).
Abuse or mistreatment
- Emotional, verbal, physical, sexual, or financial abuse occurs.
- The victim experiences fear, confusion, or emotional pain.
Reconciliation
- The abusive person apologizes, becomes affectionate, or promises to change.
- Temporary kindness creates hope that the relationship will improve.
Calm period
- Things seem normal for a while.
- The victim becomes emotionally invested again.
The cycle repeats
- Each repetition may strengthens the emotional bond.

Why Trauma Bonds Become So Strong

Several psychological mechanisms may contribute:

Intermittent reinforcement
- Kindness is unpredictable, making positive moments feel especially rewarding.
- This is similar to the psychology behind gambling, where unpredictable rewards strengthen behavior.
Fear and relief
- The abuser becomes both the source of fear and the source of comfort.
- Relief after abuse may be mistaken for love.
Emotional dependency
- The victim may begin believing they need the abuser emotionally or financially.
Isolation
- The abusive person may discourage relationships with friends or family, increasing dependence.
Hope
- Victims may remain because they believe the “good” version of the person will return.

Common Signs of Trauma Bonding

Someone experiencing a trauma bond may:

Defend the abusive person’s behavior.
Minimize or rationalize the abuse.
Feel unable to leave despite recognizing the harm.
Blame themselves for the abuse.
Miss the abuser intensely after separation.
Feel guilty for setting boundaries.
Hide the abuse from others.
Believe only the abusive person truly understands them.
Experience repeated cycles of leaving and returning.

Trauma Bonding vs. Healthy Attachment

Healthy Relationship	Trauma Bond
Trust	Fear and anxiety
Respect	Control and manipulation
Consistent affection	Unpredictable affection
Healthy communication	Gaslighting and intimidation
Safe disagreements	Fear of conflict
Mutual independence	Emotional dependency
Stable emotional climate	Emotional highs and lows

Trauma Bonding vs. Stockholm Syndrome

Although the terms are sometimes confused, they are different.

Trauma Bonding

May occur in ongoing abusive relationships.
Develops through repeated cycles of abuse and reward.
Common in intimate relationships and families.

Stockholm Syndrome

Originally described in hostage situations.
Refers to hostages developing positive feelings toward captors under extreme circumstances.
It is not an officially recognized mental disorder.

Where Trauma Bonds May Occur

Trauma bonds may develop in many settings:

Romantic relationships
Parent child relationships
Domestic violence situations
Cults or high control groups
Human trafficking
Workplace abuse
Elder abuse
Some caregiver relationships

Effects on Mental Health

Trauma bonding may contribute to:

Anxiety
Depression
Low self-esteem
Hypervigilance
Shame and guilt
Difficulty trusting others
Symptoms associated with Post traumatic stress disorder or complex trauma
Difficulty forming healthy relationships

Breaking a Trauma Bond

Recovery is possible, though it may take time.

Helpful steps include:

Recognize the abusive cycle.
Reduce or eliminate contact when it is safe to do so.
Build support from trusted friends, family, or support groups.
Learn about manipulation tactics such as gaslighting, coercive control, and emotional blackmail.
Practice healthy boundaries.
Work with a trauma informed mental health professional if needed.
Focus on rebuilding self-esteem and independence.
Be patient with yourself, missing the abusive person does not mean the relationship was healthy.

What Research Shows

Some research may suggest that trauma bonding maybe closely related to:

Intermittent reinforcement from behavioral psychology.
Attachment processes, especially when insecurity or dependency is present.
Consult with a Neurologist: The neurobiology of stress and reward, involving stress hormones and the mind’s reward pathways, which may make abusive relationships especially difficult to leave.

Key Takeaway

Trauma bonding is not a sign of weakness or genuine love. It is a psychological response that may develop under repeated cycles of abuse, fear, and intermittent affection. Understanding how these cycles work maybe the first step towards recognizing unhealthy relationships and moving toward recovery and healthier connections.

Shervan K Shahhian