Tag Archives: masculinity

Healthy Masculinity, explained:

Healthy Masculinity refers to ways of being male that are grounded, integrated, emotionally mature, and ethical, rather than rigid, aggressive, or suppressive. It is not the opposite of femininity, nor is it defined by dominance or toughness. Instead, it reflects inner strength, responsibility, relational capacity, and self-regulation.

Below is a clear, Mental Health grounded framework.

Core Elements of Healthy Masculinity

1. Emotional Literacy

  • Can identify, tolerate, and express emotions without shame
  • Understands that vulnerability is a form of courage, not weakness
  • Regulates anger rather than acting it out or suppressing it

Key shift: From emotional repression → emotional mastery

2. Secure Strength

  • Confidence comes from self-knowledge, not comparison or control
  • Strength includes restraint, patience, and protection
  • Can stand firm without needing to dominate

Healthy strength = power with conscience

3. Accountability & Integrity

  • Takes responsibility for actions and their impact
  • Makes repairs when harm is caused
  • Aligns behavior with values, even under pressure

4. Relational Capacity

  • Can form deep, mutual relationships with partners, friends, and children
  • Listens without defensiveness
  • Sees others as subjects, not objects or threats

5. Boundary Awareness

  • Respects others’ autonomy and consent
  • Sets clear boundaries without aggression or withdrawal
  • Understands that limits create safety, not rejection

6. Purpose & Contribution

  • Channels energy into meaningful work, service, or creativity
  • Seeks to contribute rather than prove
  • Understands legacy in relational and ethical terms, not dominance

7. Integration of Masculine & Feminine Capacities

  • Balances assertiveness with empathy
  • Action with reflection
  • Logic with intuition

Healthy masculinity is integrative, not polarized.

What Healthy Masculinity Is Not

  • Not emotional numbness
  • Not domination or entitlement
  • Not avoidance of intimacy
  • Not aggression disguised as confidence

Psychological Perspective

From attachment and depth psychology:

  • Healthy masculinity aligns with secure attachment
  • Trauma-based masculinity often reflects fight, freeze, or dissociative defenses
  • Developmentally, healthy masculinity emerges when boys are allowed both agency and emotional connection

In One Sentence

Healthy masculinity is the capacity to hold strength and tenderness simultaneously, to act with power guided by conscience, and to remain relational rather than defensive.

Shervan K Shahhian

Toxic Masculinity, explained:

Toxic masculinity is a term used in Mental Health, psychology, sociology, and gender studies to describe a narrow, rigid set of cultural expectations about “being a man” that can be harmful to men themselves and to others.

It does not mean that masculinity itself is toxic. Rather, it refers to specific norms that discourage healthy emotional expression, relational connection, and adaptive coping.

Core Features of Toxic Masculinity

These norms often include:

1. Emotional Suppression

  • Belief that men should not cry, feel fear, or express vulnerability
  • Emotions framed as weakness, except for anger

2. Dominance and Control

  • Pressure to assert power over others
  • Difficulty with equality in relationships
  • Control mistaken for strength

3. Aggression as Identity

  • Anger and violence normalized as masculine responses
  • Conflict resolved through intimidation rather than communication

4. Self-Reliance to the Point of Isolation

  • “Handle it yourself” mentality
  • Avoidance of help-seeking, including therapy or medical care

5. Sexual Entitlement or Performance Pressure

  • Worth tied to sexual conquest or performance
  • Difficulty with intimacy, consent, or emotional closeness

Why It’s Considered “Toxic”

These norms are labeled toxic because they are associated with:

  • Higher rates of depression and suicide in men
  • Substance abuse
  • Intimate partner violence
  • Difficulty forming emotionally secure relationships
  • Poor physical and mental health outcomes

Importantly, men are often the primary victims of these expectations.

What Toxic Masculinity Is Not

  • Not “men are bad”
  • Not an attack on masculinity
  • Not biological destiny

It is about social conditioning, not inherent traits.

Healthy Masculinity (by Contrast)

Healthy masculinity allows for:

  • Emotional range and vulnerability
  • Strength without domination
  • Accountability and empathy
  • Cooperation and mutual respect
  • Courage paired with self-reflection

Clinical / Trauma-Informed Lens

From a psychological perspective, toxic masculinity can be understood as:

  • A defensive identity structure
  • Often formed in environments where:
  • Vulnerability was punished
  • Emotional attunement was absent
  • Power was required for safety

In this sense, it can function similarly to a trauma-adapted survival strategy, rather than a moral failing.

Shervan K Shahhian