How Unconditional Positive Regard Changes Someone’s Inner Self-Talk:

How unconditional positive regard changes someone’s inner self-talk:

Unconditional positive regard (UPR), as Carl Rogers described it, doesn’t just make someone “feel supported” — over time, it can rewire the tone and content of their inner self-talk.

Here’s how that transformation tends to happen:

1. From self-criticism to self-acceptance
When someone repeatedly experiences UPR — hearing, feeling, and believing that they are accepted without conditions — it challenges the internalized voices of criticism or shame.

Before UPR: Inner voice says, “I messed up. I’m such a failure.”
After sustained UPR: Inner voice shifts to, “I made a mistake, but I’m still worthy and capable of learning.”

2. Replacing conditional worth with unconditional worth
Many people’s self-talk is shaped by early experiences where love or approval was conditional (“I’m only good if I get straight A’s”). UPR gives repeated corrective experiences, teaching the psyche: worth isn’t earned, it’s inherent.

This reduces “achievement anxiety” and the mental pressure to constantly perform for self-approval.

3. Internalizing the therapist’s (or supporter’s) voice
Over time, the way the therapist reflects and responds gets internalized. The client starts to “hear” that compassionate, nonjudgmental tone inside their own mind, especially during moments of distress.

This becomes a new inner resource — like having an internal coach who sees the whole self, not just the mistakes.

4. Encouraging authentic self-expression
If you expect to be judged, your inner self-talk often censors your thoughts: “Don’t say that, it’s stupid.”
With UPR, people learn they can bring all of themselves into the light — thoughts, feelings, impulses — without fear of rejection. This loosens self-editing and leads to a freer, more honest inner dialogue.

5. Shifting from fear-based to growth-based thinking
When you know you’re accepted, risk-taking in thought and action feels safer. Self-talk moves from,

“If I fail, I’ll be worthless” → “Even if I fail, I’ll learn and grow.”
That growth mindset becomes an automatic mental habit.

In essence:
UPR acts like a steady mirror that reflects your value is intact, no matter what. Over time, the inner critic loses dominance, and the inner voice becomes more like an encouraging friend — still realistic, but deeply supportive.

Before-and-after inner monologue chart:

Here’s a before-and-after inner monologue chart showing how unconditional positive regard (UPR) can shift a person’s self-talk over time:

Situation Before UPR (Conditional Self-Worth) After Sustained UPR (Internalized Acceptance) Making a mistake “I’m so stupid. I can’t do anything right.” “I made a mistake. That’s okay — I can fix it or learn from it. ”Receiving criticism “They think I’m worthless. They’re probably right.” “Their feedback doesn’t define my worth — I can take what’s useful and let the rest go. ”Feeling strong emotions“ I shouldn’t feel this way. It means I’m weak.” “It’s okay to feel this. My feelings make sense, and they’ll pass. ”Trying something new“ If I fail, everyone will see I’m not good enough.” “It’s worth trying, even if I fail — my value doesn’t depend on the outcome. ”Not meeting expectations “I’m letting everyone down. I can’t handle this.” “I didn’t meet the goal this time, but I can regroup and try again. ”Facing personal flaws“ I hate this part of me. I wish it would just go away.” “This is a part of me that needs care and understanding, not rejection. ”Receiving praise“ They’re just being nice. I don’t deserve it.” “I appreciate the compliment — it’s nice to be seen.”

Pattern shift:

Before UPR: Inner talk is judgment-heavy, conditional, and fear-based.
After UPR: Inner talk is curious, compassionate, and grounded in self-worth.

Shervan K Shahhian

Understanding Eudaimonic:

Understanding Eudaimonic:

Great question! Eudaimonic comes from the Greek word “eudaimonia”, which is often translated as “human flourishing” or “living well”. It’s a concept from ancient philosophy, especially Aristotle, that focuses on living a meaningful, fulfilling life — not just feeling good or experiencing pleasure.

What is Eudaimonic Well-being?

Eudaimonic well-being refers to a deeper sense of happiness that comes from realizing your true potential and living in accordance with your values and purpose.

It’s about personal growth, self-actualization, meaning, and virtue rather than just pleasure or avoiding pain.

How is it different from Hedonic well-being?

Hedonic well-being = pleasure, enjoyment, and avoiding discomfort. Think of it as feeling good in the moment.

Eudaimonic well-being = living a life of meaning, purpose, and authenticity. It might not always feel easy or pleasurable, but it leads to long-term fulfillment.

Examples of Eudaimonic Activities:

Pursuing meaningful goals aligned with your values.

Helping others and contributing to the community.

Developing your talents and skills.

Overcoming challenges to grow as a person.

Why does it matter?

Research in positive psychology shows that eudaimonic well-being is strongly linked to better mental health, resilience, and overall life satisfaction. It’s often seen as a more sustainable form of happiness.

Exercises to cultivate more eudaimonic well-being in your life

Here are some practical exercises to help cultivate eudaimonic well-being — that deeper sense of meaning, growth, and purpose:

1. Reflect on Your Core Values

Write down what matters most to you in life (e.g., honesty, creativity, kindness, growth).

Each day or week, check how your actions align with those values.

Adjust your choices to live more in harmony with what truly matters.

2. Set Meaningful Goals

Identify goals that connect with your values and give you a sense of purpose.

Break them down into small, manageable steps.

Celebrate progress even if the goal is long-term or challenging.

3. Practice Gratitude with a Meaning Focus

Instead of just listing things you’re thankful for, reflect on why those things are meaningful.

For example, instead of “I’m thankful for my job,” think “I’m thankful my job lets me help others and learn new skills.”

4. Engage in Activities That Challenge You

Pick a skill or hobby that pushes you out of your comfort zone.

Embrace the process of growth — even failures — as part of your personal development.

5. Contribute to Others

Volunteer, mentor, or help someone in need.

Focus on the impact your actions have on others, which builds a sense of connection and purpose.

6. Mindful Reflection or Journaling

Spend 5–10 minutes daily writing about moments when you felt purposeful, authentic, or fully engaged.

Reflect on what conditions helped you feel that way and how to recreate them.

7. Cultivate Authentic Relationships

Invest time in relationships where you can be your true self.

Share your dreams and listen deeply to others’ experiences.

Shervan K Shahhian

Healthy Video Viewing and Mental Health:

Healthy Video Viewing and Mental Health:

Healthy video viewing habits are crucial for maintaining good mental health. While videos can be entertaining, educational, and even therapeutic, excessive or unbalanced consumption can lead to issues like anxiety, depression, sleep disturbances, and reduced attention span.

Here are some tips for maintaining a healthy relationship with video content:

1. Set Time Limits

Use screen-time management tools to track and limit your daily viewing.
Follow the 20–20–20 rule: Every 20 minutes, look away from the screen for 20 seconds at something 20 feet away.
Avoid binge-watching, as it can contribute to fatigue and decreased mental well-being.

2. Choose Content Wisely

Prioritize educational, inspiring, or skill-building content over mindless entertainment.
Avoid content that triggers stress, fear, or comparison-based anxiety (e.g., unrealistic social media portrayals).
Be mindful of violent or disturbing content that may negatively impact mood.

3. Maintain Real-Life Connections

Balance screen time with face-to-face social interactions.
Use videos as a tool for connection (e.g., watching with friends or family) rather than isolation.
Engage in hobbies or outdoor activities to counterbalance screen time.

4. Mindful Viewing

Be present and conscious of how the content makes you feel.
Avoid passive scrolling through endless videos — choose intentional watching.
Don’t use videos as an escape from stress; instead, seek out healthier coping mechanisms.

5. Protect Sleep Hygiene

Reduce screen exposure before bedtime to avoid blue light interference with melatonin production.
Enable “night mode” or “dark mode” to minimize strain if watching in the evening.
Develop a bedtime routine without screens (reading, meditation, or journaling).

6. Reduce Doomscrolling & Negative Exposure

Limit exposure to sensationalized news or emotionally draining content.
Take breaks from social media and video platforms if you feel overwhelmed.
Curate a feed that promotes positivity and well-being.

7. Engage in Active Viewing

Take notes or reflect on what you learn from videos.
Try implementing ideas from educational or self-improvement content.
Balance passive consumption with active engagement, such as discussion or creative application.

Shervan K Shahhian

Mental Noise, how to cope and manage it:

Mental Noise, how to cope and manage it:

Mental noise refers to the constant stream of thoughts, worries, or distractions that can clutter the mind, making it difficult to focus or feel at peace. It can be caused by stress, anxiety, overthinking, or even external factors like a hectic environment.

Here are strategies to cope and manage mental noise:

1. Mindfulness Practices

Meditation: Regular meditation helps calm the mind and reduces mental chatter. Start with 5–10 minutes a day.
Deep Breathing: Practice diaphragmatic breathing to shift focus from thoughts to your body.
Mindful Activities: Engage fully in everyday tasks like eating, walking, or washing dishes by focusing on the sensations and actions involved.

2. Journaling

Write down your thoughts to declutter your mind. This can help you process emotions and gain clarity on what’s bothering you.

3. Prioritize and Organize

Use to-do lists or planners to externalize tasks. This reduces the mental load of trying to remember everything.
Break tasks into smaller, manageable steps to avoid feeling overwhelmed.

4. Limit Overstimulation

Reduce distractions by turning off unnecessary notifications or creating a quiet workspace.
Set boundaries for social media and screen time.

5. Practice Gratitude

Reflecting on things you’re thankful for can shift your focus from worries to positive aspects of your life.

6. Physical Activity

Exercise helps release endorphins, reduces stress, and provides a natural way to refocus and refresh your mind.

7. Address Underlying Stressors

Identify triggers of your mental noise and work on resolving them.
Seek professional help if needed, such as counseling or therapy.

8. Build a Routine

A consistent daily routine can provide structure and reduce mental chaos.

9. Sleep Well

Lack of sleep can exacerbate mental noise. Establish a relaxing bedtime routine and ensure you’re getting enough rest.

10. Engage in Creative Outlets

Drawing, writing, music, or other creative activities can provide an emotional release and redirect mental energy.

11. Connect with Others

Talking to a friend, mentor, or therapist can help you process your thoughts and gain new perspectives.

12. Acceptance

Accept that mental noise is a part of being human. Instead of resisting it, observe your thoughts without judgment and let them pass naturally.
YOU CAN SEEK PROFESSIONAL HELP.

Shervan K Shahhian

How to improve Mental Well-Being:

How to improve Mental Well-Being:

Improving mental well-being is a multifaceted process that involves nurturing your mind, body, and environment.

Here are practical strategies to enhance your mental health:

1. Develop Healthy Habits

Exercise Regularly: Physical activity releases endorphins, which boost mood. Aim for at least 30 minutes of moderate exercise most days.
Eat a Balanced Diet: Nutrient-rich foods, including fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and lean proteins, support brain health.
Sleep Well: Prioritize 7–9 hours of quality sleep each night to improve focus, mood, and resilience.

2. Manage Stress

Practice Relaxation Techniques: Engage in meditation, deep breathing, or yoga to reduce stress.
Set Boundaries: Learn to say “no” and avoid overcommitting yourself.
Take Breaks: Regular breaks during work or study can prevent burnout.

3. Cultivate Positive Relationships

Stay Connected: Maintain meaningful connections with friends, family, or support groups.
Communicate Openly: Share your thoughts and feelings with trusted individuals.
Engage in Community: Volunteering or joining clubs can provide a sense of purpose.

4. Focus on Personal Growth

Set Realistic Goals: Break goals into smaller steps to avoid feeling overwhelmed.
Learn Something New: Acquire a new skill or hobby to stimulate your mind.
Practice Gratitude: Keep a journal to note things you’re thankful for daily.

5. Limit Negative Influences

Reduce Screen Time: Avoid excessive use of social media, which can impact self-esteem.
Limit Substance Use: Avoid over-reliance on alcohol or drugs for coping.
Filter Your Environment: Spend time in positive, uplifting spaces.

6. Seek Professional Help

Therapy or Counseling: A mental health professional can provide tailored strategies and support.
Medication: For some conditions, medication prescribed by a doctor can help.
Support Groups: Connect with people who understand your experiences.

7. Practice Mindfulness and Self-Compassion

Live in the Moment: Pay attention to the present without judgment.
Be Kind to Yourself: Treat yourself with the same compassion you’d offer a friend.
Celebrate Small Wins: Acknowledge and appreciate your efforts and achievements.

Improving mental well-being is a journey that requires consistent effort and self-awareness. Start with small, manageable changes and gradually build habits that support a healthier mind and lifestyle.

Shervan K Shahhian

Walk and Talk Mental Health Therapy:

Walk and Talk Mental Health Therapy:

Walk and Talk Mental Health Therapy is a therapeutic approach where counseling sessions take place outdoors while walking. It combines physical activity with traditional talk therapy, providing a more dynamic environment for addressing mental health concerns. This method can be particularly effective for individuals who find the traditional office setting restrictive or uncomfortable.

Benefits of Walk and Talk Therapy:

Physical Movement: Exercise, even at a moderate pace, releases endorphins that can improve mood and reduce anxiety.
Natural Setting: Being in nature has been shown to lower stress levels, improve focus, and enhance overall mental well-being.
Relaxed Atmosphere: Walking side-by-side rather than sitting face-to-face can feel less intimidating, encouraging openness and ease in communication.
Integration of Mind and Body: Combining movement with therapy helps reinforce the connection between physical and mental health.
Flexibility: It’s adaptable to various locations, such as parks, beaches, or nature trails, depending on the client’s preference.

Who Can Benefit:

Individuals struggling with anxiety, depression, or mild to moderate stress.
Those who feel more comfortable in outdoor settings.
People looking for a less traditional approach to therapy.

Things to Consider:

Confidentiality: Sessions in public spaces may pose privacy challenges, so the therapist and client should discuss boundaries and choose less crowded routes.
Accessibility: It may not be suitable for individuals with mobility issues or severe weather conditions.
Boundaries: Therapists typically establish clear guidelines to maintain professionalism in an informal environment.

Shervan K Shahhian

The importance of social support:

The importance of social support:

Social support plays a crucial role in the well-being and overall health of individuals. It refers to the assistance, care, and encouragement provided by others, such as friends, family, and community.

The importance of social support can be observed across various aspects of life:

Emotional well-being: Social support provides a network of individuals who can offer empathy, understanding, and a listening ear during challenging times. Knowing that there are people who care about one’s emotional state can contribute significantly to mental and emotional well-being.

Stress reduction: Having a strong social support system helps in coping with stress. Whether it’s through practical assistance, emotional support, or simply sharing experiences, the presence of supportive relationships can buffer the impact of stressful situations and promote resilience.

Mental health: Social support is linked to lower rates of depression, anxiety, and other mental health issues. Interactions with supportive individuals can provide a sense of belonging and purpose, reducing feelings of isolation and loneliness.

Physical health: Research has shown that individuals with strong social connections tend to have better physical health. Having a support system can contribute to lower blood pressure, improved immune function, and a decreased risk of certain health conditions.

Coping with challenges: Life is filled with challenges, and having a support system makes it easier to navigate through difficult times. Whether it’s dealing with illness, loss, or major life changes, having people to lean on can make the journey more manageable.

Enhanced self-esteem: Positive social interactions can contribute to a person’s sense of self-worth and confidence. Supportive relationships provide validation and encouragement, fostering a positive self-image.

Behavioral changes: Social support can be instrumental in facilitating positive behavioral changes. Whether it’s adopting a healthier lifestyle, quitting smoking, or managing substance abuse, the encouragement and accountability provided by a supportive network can make a significant difference.

Improved coping skills: Exposure to diverse perspectives and coping strategies within a social support system can broaden an individual’s repertoire of coping skills. Learning from others and sharing experiences can contribute to personal growth and resilience.

In summary, social support is a powerful force that positively influences both mental and physical well-being. Cultivating and maintaining strong social connections is essential for leading a fulfilling and healthy life.

Shervan K Shahhian

Mindfulness and accessing mental health resources

Mindfulness and accessing mental health resources:

Mindfulness and accessing mental health resources are important aspects of maintaining overall well-being.

Here are some insights into both:

Mindfulness:

1. Definition:

Mindfulness involves paying attention to the present moment without judgment. It’s about being fully present and aware of your thoughts, feelings, and surroundings.

2. Benefits:

Stress Reduction: Mindfulness can help reduce stress by promoting relaxation and focusing on the current moment.
Improved Mental Clarity: It enhances mental clarity and the ability to make decisions by fostering a non-judgmental awareness.
Emotional Regulation: Mindfulness can assist in managing emotions by allowing you to observe them without immediate reaction.

3. Practices:

Meditation: Regular meditation sessions, focusing on breath or guided meditation, can enhance mindfulness.
Body Scan: Paying attention to different parts of your body, noting sensations without judgment.
Mindful Breathing: Taking a few moments to focus on your breath can bring you into the present.

4. Integration:

Incorporate mindfulness into daily activities, such as mindful eating, walking, or even washing dishes.

Accessing Mental Health Resources:

1. Professional Help:

Therapists and Counselors: Seek licensed mental health professionals for counseling or therapy sessions.
Psychiatrists: For individuals who may benefit from medication management, psychiatrists can prescribe and monitor medications.

2. Support Groups:

Community and Online Support Groups: Connecting with others who share similar struggles can provide a sense of community and understanding.

3. Online Resources:

Websites and Apps: Many apps and websites offer mental health resources, including guided meditations, self-help articles, and crisis helplines.

4. Employee Assistance Programs (EAP):

If available through your workplace, EAPs often provide confidential counseling and mental health support.

5. Educational Resources:

Books and Workbooks: There are numerous self-help books and workbooks that address various mental health concerns.

6. National Helplines:

In many countries, there are national helplines you can call or text for immediate support in times of crisis.

7. Campus Resources:

If you’re a student, universities often have counseling services and mental health resources available.

8. Primary Care Physician:

Start with your primary care doctor, who can provide guidance and referrals to mental health professionals.

Remember, seeking help is a sign of strength, and there are various resources available to support your mental health journey. If you’re in crisis, don’t hesitate to reach out to emergency services or a local crisis hotline.

Shervan K Shahhian

Impulse Control, is it manageable:

Impulse control refers to the ability to resist or delay the urge to act on immediate desires or reactions. It is a crucial aspect of self-regulation and is essential for making thoughtful decisions. The manageability of impulse control can vary from person to person and is influenced by various factors, including genetics, environment, and individual experiences.

For many people, impulse control is a skill that can be developed and strengthened over time through practice and self-awareness. Here are some strategies that may help improve impulse control:

Mindfulness and Awareness: Being mindful of your thoughts and feelings can help you recognize impulses as they arise. By staying present in the moment, you may gain better control over impulsive reactions.

Pause and Reflect: When faced with a situation that triggers an impulse, take a moment to pause before reacting. This can provide the time needed to reflect on the potential consequences of your actions.

Set Goals: Clearly defined goals can provide motivation and direction. When faced with impulses, consider how giving in to them may impact your long-term goals. This can help you make more rational decisions.

Develop Healthy Habits: Establishing positive habits can contribute to better impulse control. Regular exercise, a balanced diet, and sufficient sleep can positively impact your overall mental well-being.

Stress Management: High levels of stress can weaken impulse control. Developing effective stress management techniques, such as deep breathing, meditation, or exercise, can help you cope with stressors and maintain better control over impulses.

Seek Support: If you find it challenging to manage impulses on your own, consider seeking support from friends, family, or a mental health professional. They can offer guidance, encouragement, and additional coping strategies.

It’s important to note that impulse control is a skill that may require ongoing effort and practice. Additionally, if you’re facing significant challenges in this area, consulting with a mental health professional can provide personalized support and strategies tailored to your specific needs.

Shervan K Shahhian

Strengthening positive social connections to improve mental health:

Strengthening positive social connections to improve mental health:

Certainly, strengthening positive social connections can have a significant impact on mental health. Positive social connections provide a sense of belonging, support, and understanding, which can contribute to overall well-being. Here are some ways in which fostering positive social connections can improve mental health:

Social Support:

Having a strong social support network provides a buffer against stress and adversity. Knowing that there are people who care about you and are willing to listen can alleviate feelings of loneliness and isolation.

Reducing Stress:

Positive social interactions can help reduce stress levels. Engaging in conversations, sharing experiences, and feeling understood can lead to the release of oxytocin, a hormone that promotes bonding and reduces stress.

Emotional Regulation:

Social connections offer a platform to express emotions and receive feedback. Talking about feelings with others can help regulate emotions and provide perspective, reducing the risk of developing mental health issues.

Sense of Purpose:

Being part of a social community gives individuals a sense of purpose and belonging. This can contribute to a positive self-identity and a feeling of being valued, which are crucial for mental well-being.

Physical Health Benefits:

Positive social connections have been linked to improved physical health. Engaging in social activities can have a positive impact on the immune system, cardiovascular health, and overall longevity.

Enhanced Coping Skills:

Having a supportive social network can enhance an individual’s ability to cope with challenges. The availability of different perspectives and coping strategies within a social group can provide valuable insights and solutions.

Building Resilience:

Positive social connections contribute to the development of resilience. Knowing that there are people to lean on during difficult times can help individuals bounce back from setbacks and navigate life’s challenges more effectively.

Encouraging Healthy Behaviors:

Social connections can influence lifestyle choices. Being part of a group that values healthy habits can motivate individuals to adopt and maintain positive behaviors, such as regular exercise and a balanced diet.

Alleviating Depression and Anxiety:

Social support has been shown to be particularly beneficial in preventing and alleviating symptoms of depression and anxiety. The sense of connection and understanding can provide a buffer against negative thoughts and emotions.

Promoting Joy and Happiness:

Positive social interactions contribute to a sense of joy and happiness. Sharing experiences, celebrating achievements, and enjoying the company of others can bring a sense of fulfillment and happiness.

To strengthen positive social connections, individuals can engage in activities that foster community, join clubs or groups with shared interests, maintain regular communication with friends and family, and seek professional help if needed. Building and nurturing relationships take time and effort, but the mental health benefits can be profound.

Shervan K Shahhian