communication – LIBERTY PSYCHOLOGICAL ASSOCIATION

Conversational Hypnosis, what is it:

Conversational Hypnosis — also called covert hypnosis or indirect hypnosis — is a communication technique used to influence someone’s subconscious mind through ordinary conversation, without them necessarily being aware that hypnosis is occurring.

Core Concept:

Conversational hypnosis uses language patterns, suggestion, and rapport-building to gently bypass the critical, analytical part of the mind and access the unconscious — where deeper change can happen (e.g., altering beliefs, attitudes, behaviors).

Key Techniques in Conversational Hypnosis:

Rapport Building
Establishing trust, empathy, and psychological alignment with the listener. Without rapport, the subconscious is less receptive.

Pacing and Leading
Start by stating observable truths (pacing), which builds agreement, then subtly guide the person toward a suggestion or desired thought (leading).

Example: “You’re sitting here reading this, maybe curious about how your mind works… and as you continue, you might begin to notice…”

Hypnotic Language Patterns (Ericksonian)
Inspired by Milton Erickson, these include:

Embedded commands: “You might begin to feel more confident.”
Double binds: “Would you prefer to relax now or in a few minutes?”
Tag questions: “That makes sense, doesn’t it?”
Implied causality: “As you sit here, you’ll naturally start to feel more at ease.”

Metaphors and Stories
Personal or symbolic stories bypass resistance and embed suggestions indirectly.

E.g., “I once knew someone who used to doubt themselves, but something shifted when they realized…”

Open Loops and Curiosity
Creating unresolved ideas or stories keeps the subconscious engaged and primed to accept suggestions.

“There’s something I want to tell you that could really change how you think about confidence…”

Applications of Conversational Hypnosis:

Therapy and coaching (e.g., building motivation, reducing anxiety)
Sales and negotiation (ethical influence)
Public speaking (engaging an audience deeply)
Personal development and habit change

Ethical Considerations:

Conversational hypnosis can be powerful and should be used with integrity. Misuse for manipulation or coercion can be harmful. When applied ethically, it’s a tool for positive influence, healing, and growth.

Here’s a simple example of a conversation using conversational hypnosis techniques, particularly drawn from Milton Erickson’s indirect approach. Imagine this is a therapist or coach helping someone feel more confident:

Scene: A client feels nervous about public speaking.

Coach:
“You know, a lot of people feel a little uncertain before they speak. And it’s perfectly natural, isn’t it? After all, when you care about something, it means you want to do it well… and just the fact that you care means something’s already working inside.”

(Rapport + pacing experience)

Client:
“Yeah, I guess so. I just get tense before I speak.”

Coach:
“And that tension… that’s just energy, really. A kind of energy that, once it shifts, can actually become focus. Have you noticed how sometimes when you’re doing something important, you almost forget the nervousness… and something else takes over?”

(Reframe + implied causality + open loop)

Client:
“Sometimes, yeah… when I’m in the zone.”

Coach:
“Exactly. And as you think about times you’ve been ‘in the zone,’ you might find it interesting… that the mind can remember that state and even return to it more easily than expected. Some people are surprised how quickly they can shift, once they allow that process to begin.”

(Embedded suggestion + indirect priming of internal resources)

Client:
“Huh, I never thought about it that way.”

Coach:
“Most people don’t, until they realize… that calm and confidence are already part of who they are. Maybe they were just waiting for the right moment to come back.”

What’s Happening Under the Surface:

No direct command like “Relax!” or “Be confident!”
Subtle suggestions are embedded within casual conversation.
The client’s subconscious is gently guided to associate past success with present potential.
The coach uses open language, reframing, and metaphors of natural learning and transformation.

Shervan K Shahhian

Healthy Relationships, what are they:

Healthy Relationships, what are they:

Healthy relationships are built on mutual respect, trust, communication, and support.

Whether romantic, friendships, or family connections, they share some key characteristics:

Respect — Valuing each other’s feelings, thoughts, and boundaries.
Trust — Feeling safe and secure in the relationship.
Open Communication — Being able to express feelings, concerns, and needs honestly.
Support — Encouraging each other’s growth, dreams, and well-being.
Boundaries — Respecting each other’s space, independence, and personal needs.
Equality — Both partners or individuals have an equal say and influence.
Healthy Conflict Resolution — Addressing disagreements with understanding rather than hostility.
Enjoyment — Feeling happy, comfortable, and at ease with each other.

A healthy relationship fosters personal growth rather than limiting it.

A healthy romantic relationship is one where both partners feel loved, respected, and supported. It is not about perfection but about mutual growth, deep connection, and shared happiness. Here are key elements of a thriving romantic relationship:

1. Emotional Connection

You feel safe expressing your emotions without fear of judgment.
There is mutual understanding and validation of each other’s feelings.

2. Trust & Honesty

Both partners are reliable, open, and honest.
No constant suspicion or need for excessive control.

3. Respect & Boundaries

Each partner’s individuality is honored.
Differences in opinions, beliefs, and needs are accepted without pressure to change.

4. Healthy Communication

Problems are discussed calmly rather than through blame or avoidance.
Listening is just as important as speaking.

5. Mutual Support & Growth

Encouraging each other’s personal goals and aspirations.
Offering comfort in difficult times instead of criticism or neglect.

6. Healthy Intimacy

Physical affection (not just sexual but also hugging, holding hands, etc.) strengthens the bond.
Emotional intimacy — being able to share fears, dreams, and vulnerabilities.

7. Equality & Partnership

Decisions are made together, not dominated by one person.
Both partners contribute to the relationship in meaningful ways.

8. Healthy Conflict Resolution

Arguments are handled maturely, with a focus on solutions rather than blame.
Apologies and forgiveness are genuine.

Shervan K Shahhian

Empathy, what does it mean exactly:

Empathy, what does it mean exactly:

Empathy is the ability to understand, share, and connect with the feelings or experiences of others.

It involves not only recognizing what someone else is going through but also being able to emotionally resonate with them. Empathy has a few layers:

Cognitive empathy: Understanding someone else’s thoughts and feelings from a mental standpoint. It’s about grasping what the other person is experiencing, but not necessarily feeling it yourself.

Emotional empathy: Feeling what another person feels. It’s like “catching” their emotions and experiencing them on an emotional level.

Compassionate empathy: Beyond understanding and feeling, compassionate empathy leads to taking action. It motivates you to support or help the person in need.

In short, empathy connects people by allowing us to step into others’ shoes, whether through intellectual understanding or shared emotional experience. Does this align with how you’ve thought about empathy?

Intellectual understanding:

Intellectual understanding, in the context of empathy, refers to the ability to grasp or comprehend another person’s thoughts, emotions, or situation without necessarily sharing in those feelings. It’s more about mentally recognizing what someone is going through. For example, if a friend tells you they’re struggling with stress at work, intellectual empathy would involve understanding why they feel that way, what causes that stress, and what it might be like for them, even if you’re not feeling stressed yourself.

This type of empathy can help you respond thoughtfully and offer advice or support, even if you don’t fully experience the emotions the other person is having. It’s the “knowing” part of empathy without the emotional “feeling” part.

Emotional empathy:

Emotional empathy goes deeper than intellectual understanding. It involves feeling what the other person is feeling, almost as if you’re emotionally experiencing their situation alongside them. It’s the ability to “catch” their emotions — whether it’s sadness, joy, frustration, or excitement. This kind of empathy helps you connect with others on a more intimate, emotional level.

For example, if a friend is going through a tough time, emotional empathy would make you feel their pain or sadness too, almost like you’re sharing the burden with them. It helps create strong bonds between people because you’re not just understanding their experience but also emotionally resonating with it.

Emotional empathy can sometimes feel intense because you’re directly affected by the emotions of others, but it also makes interactions feel more genuine and compassionate.

Shervan K Shahhian

The art of Interpersonal Issues Counseling

The art of Interpersonal Issues Counseling:

Interpersonal Issues Counseling is a specialized form of counseling that focuses on helping individuals navigate and improve their relationships with others. It addresses various challenges and conflicts that arise in personal, professional, or social interactions. Here are some key aspects and principles of the art of Interpersonal Issues Counseling:

Active Listening: Effective interpersonal counseling begins with active listening. The counselor attentively listens to the client’s concerns, thoughts, and feelings without interrupting or judgment. Active listening helps the counselor understand the client’s perspective and establish a strong therapeutic relationship.
Empathy and Understanding: Empathy involves understanding and sharing the client’s emotions and experiences. The counselor demonstrates empathy by showing genuine concern and validating the client’s feelings. This helps create a safe and supportive environment for open communication.
Communication Skills: Interpersonal counseling emphasizes the development of healthy communication skills. Clients learn how to express themselves clearly, assertively, and respectfully. They also learn to listen actively, which is essential for resolving conflicts and building strong relationships.
Conflict Resolution: Addressing conflicts is a significant component of interpersonal counseling. Clients learn strategies to manage and resolve conflicts constructively, focusing on finding mutually agreeable solutions and maintaining positive relationships.
Boundaries: Setting and maintaining healthy boundaries is crucial for successful interpersonal relationships. Counselors help clients understand the importance of boundaries, both in terms of respecting their own boundaries and respecting the boundaries of others.
Self-Awareness: Clients are encouraged to develop self-awareness and reflect on their own thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. This self-reflection helps individuals identify patterns that may be contributing to interpersonal difficulties and empowers them to make positive changes.
Empowerment: Interpersonal counseling aims to empower clients to take control of their relationships and make informed choices. Clients learn to take responsibility for their actions and develop the skills needed to foster healthy interactions.
Cultural Sensitivity: Counselors must be culturally sensitive and considerate of diverse backgrounds and perspectives. Cultural factors can significantly impact interpersonal dynamics, and counselors need to be aware of these influences.
Role-Playing and Skill Building: Role-playing and skill-building exercises are often used in interpersonal counseling. Clients practice effective communication, active listening, and conflict resolution techniques in a controlled environment to enhance their real-world interactions.
Goal Setting: Interpersonal counseling typically involves setting specific goals related to improving relationships. These goals may include developing better communication with a spouse, resolving conflicts with colleagues, or building stronger friendships.
Long-Term Relationships: While some clients seek short-term help for specific issues, others may engage in ongoing interpersonal counseling to continuously improve their relationship skills and address evolving challenges.
Ethical Considerations: Interpersonal issues counseling requires adherence to ethical guidelines, such as maintaining client confidentiality, respecting autonomy, and ensuring the well-being of all parties involved.

Interpersonal Issues Counseling is a dynamic and evolving field that draws from various therapeutic approaches, including psychodynamic, cognitive-behavioral, and humanistic theories. A skilled counselor employs these principles to guide clients toward healthier and more fulfilling relationships.

Shervan K Shahhian

Best strategies for maintaining healthy family relationships:

Best strategies for maintaining healthy family relationships:

Maintaining healthy family relationships is crucial for overall well-being and happiness.

Here are some strategies to help foster and maintain positive family dynamics:

Communication:

Foster open and honest communication within the family.
Listen actively to each family member’s thoughts and feelings.
Encourage sharing and expressing emotions without judgment.

Quality Time:

Dedicate regular quality time for family activities.
Create and maintain family traditions, such as weekly dinners or monthly outings.
Be present and engaged during family time, minimizing distractions.

Respect:

Treat each family member with respect and kindness.
Encourage mutual respect by setting a positive example.
Validate each other’s opinions and feelings, even if there are disagreements.

Conflict Resolution:

Teach and model healthy conflict resolution skills.
Encourage open discussions to address issues constructively.
Focus on finding solutions rather than placing blame.

Shared Responsibilities:

Share household responsibilities to promote a sense of teamwork.
Acknowledge and appreciate each family member’s contributions.
Avoid creating a sense of inequality in responsibilities.

Individuality and Boundaries:

Respect each family member’s individuality and personal space.
Establish and communicate clear boundaries.
Encourage and support each person’s pursuit of personal interests and goals.

Celebrate Achievements:

Celebrate individual and collective achievements, no matter how small.
Encourage a positive and supportive atmosphere for personal growth.

Flexibility:

Be flexible and adaptable to changing family dynamics and circumstances.
Embrace change as an opportunity for growth and learning.

Empathy:

Cultivate empathy by understanding and considering each other’s perspectives.
Support each other during challenging times.

Gratitude:

Express gratitude for the positive aspects of family life.
Encourage family members to regularly acknowledge and appreciate each other.

Conflict Prevention:

Identify potential sources of conflict and work proactively to prevent them.
Foster an environment where everyone feels heard and understood.

Family Meetings:

Schedule regular family meetings to discuss important matters and make collective decisions.
Provide a forum for each family member to voice concerns and suggestions.

Remember, building and maintaining healthy family relationships require ongoing effort, understanding, and a commitment to nurturing the bond between family members.

Shervan K Shahhian

Confabulation in Mental Health, what does that mean:

Confabulation in Mental Health, what does that mean:

Confabulation in mental health refers to a memory disturbance where an individual unintentionally fabricates or provides inaccurate information to fill in gaps in their memory. This phenomenon is not an intentional lie or deception; instead, it involves the creation of false or distorted memories without the person being aware that the information is incorrect.

Confabulation can occur in various mental health conditions, including certain types of dementia, amnesia, brain injuries, and psychiatric disorders. It often involves the person genuinely believing in the accuracy of the information they are providing, even though it may be inconsistent with reality.

The causes of confabulation can be diverse, including damage to the brain’s frontal lobes, which play a role in memory and executive functions. It can also result from the brain’s attempts to make sense of fragmented or incomplete memories.

It’s essential for healthcare professionals to distinguish between intentional deception and confabulation, as it can provide valuable insights into the underlying neurological or psychological issues that may be contributing to the phenomenon. Understanding confabulation can be crucial for developing appropriate care and support strategies for individuals experiencing this memory disturbance.

Shervan K Shahhian

The best Conflict Resolution Techniques:

The best conflict resolution techniques:

Effective conflict resolution is crucial for maintaining positive relationships and fostering a healthy environment, whether in personal or professional settings. Here are some widely recognized conflict resolution techniques:

Active Listening:

Pay full attention to the other person.
Demonstrate understanding by paraphrasing and summarizing.
Ask open-ended questions to encourage them to share their perspective.

Empathy:

Put yourself in the other person’s shoes.
Understand their feelings and emotions.
Acknowledge their perspective, even if you don’t agree.

Effective Communication:

Clearly express your thoughts and feelings.
Use “I” statements to avoid sounding accusatory.
Avoid blame and focus on the issue at hand.

Collaboration:

Work together to find a mutually beneficial solution.
Encourage open dialogue and brainstorming.
Emphasize shared goals and common interests.

Negotiation:

Identify common ground.
Be willing to compromise.
Seek solutions that satisfy both parties.

Time-Outs:

If emotions are running high, take a break to cool down.
Allow both parties time and space to reflect.
Resume the discussion when everyone is calmer.

Conflict Coaching:

Seek guidance from a neutral third party.
A coach can help individuals navigate and resolve conflicts.

Mediation:

Bring in a neutral mediator to facilitate communication.
Mediators can help parties explore solutions and find common ground.

Set Clear Expectations:

Ensure that expectations are communicated clearly.
Misunderstandings often lead to conflicts.

Apologize and Forgive:

Apologize for any wrongdoing, if applicable.
Be willing to forgive and move forward.

Establish Boundaries:

Clearly define personal or professional boundaries.
Respect others’ boundaries and communicate your own.

Use a Problem-Solving Approach:

Identify the specific problem causing the conflict.
Collaboratively work on finding a solution.

Learn from the Conflict:

Reflect on the conflict and consider it a learning opportunity.
Use the experience to improve communication and prevent future conflicts.

Remember, the effectiveness of these techniques may vary depending on the situation and the individuals involved. A combination of these strategies, tailored to the specific context, often yields the best results.

Shervan K Shahhian

Empathy is number one, why:

Empathy is number one, why:

Empathy is often considered crucial for several reasons:

Understanding Others: Empathy allows individuals to understand and share the feelings of others. This understanding fosters better communication, stronger relationships, and a sense of connection.

Building Relationships: Empathy is a key component in building meaningful and positive relationships. When people feel understood and valued, it strengthens the bonds between individuals, whether in personal or professional settings.

Conflict Resolution: Empathy plays a vital role in resolving conflicts. By understanding the perspectives and emotions of others, individuals can find common ground and work towards mutually beneficial solutions.

Teamwork: In group settings, empathy is essential for effective teamwork. It helps team members relate to each other’s experiences, perspectives, and challenges, leading to a more collaborative and harmonious working environment.

Leadership: Empathetic leaders are often more successful in guiding and motivating their teams. Understanding the needs and concerns of team members fosters a positive work culture and enhances overall team performance.

Promoting Well-Being: Empathy contributes to the well-being of both individuals and communities. It creates a supportive environment where people feel heard, respected, and cared for, contributing to mental and emotional health.

Social Harmony: On a broader scale, empathy is essential for promoting social harmony and understanding among diverse groups. It encourages tolerance, acceptance, and cooperation in a society with varied perspectives and backgrounds.

In summary, empathy is considered essential because it enhances communication, relationships, teamwork, and overall well-being, contributing to a more compassionate and understanding world.

Shervan K Shahhian