The Impact of Illegal Drugs on Intimacy and Expression:

The Impact of Illegal Drugs on Intimacy and Expression:

“The use of illegal drugs could result in death.”

That’s a rich and layered topic — illegal drugs can have complex and sometimes paradoxical effects on intimacy and expression, depending on the substance, the context, and the individuals involved.

Here’s a breakdown of the psychological and emotional dynamics at play:

Short-Term Effects (Perceived Enhancements)

Some illegal substances are known to increase feelings of intimacy, connection, and emotional openness in the short term:

1. MDMA (Ecstasy/Molly)

Increases empathy, trust, and emotional vulnerability.

Often described as creating a “heart-open” state.

Can temporarily dissolve emotional walls between partners or within group settings.

Users report increased verbal and non-verbal emotional expression.

2. Cannabis

Enhances sensory perception and emotional introspection.

Some users experience heightened sexual pleasure and emotional bonding.

But can also cause anxiety or disconnection depending on mindset.

3. Psychedelics (LSD, Psilocybin)

Can foster deep, spiritual connection with others.

Breaks down ego boundaries — leads to feelings of unity and love.

However, the experience can be unpredictable and emotionally raw.

Long-Term & Negative Effects

Despite initial perceived benefits, prolonged or repeated use of illegal drugs tends to disrupt true intimacy and authentic emotional expression. Here’s how:

1. Dependency & Avoidance

Drugs can become a substitute for emotional labor and communication.

Users may avoid vulnerability, relying instead on chemical shortcuts to feel connected.

2. Emotional Dysregulation

Long-term use often leads to mood swings, detachment, or emotional numbness.

Neurochemical imbalances (especially serotonin and dopamine depletion) can impair empathy and expression.

3. Distrust & Isolation

In relationships, drug use may introduce secrecy, broken trust, or betrayal.

Over time, this erodes emotional safety — vital for true intimacy.

4. Physical and Psychological Side Effects

Decreased libido, anxiety, paranoia, or depressive symptoms.

These can make healthy intimacy feel inaccessible or unsafe.

Psychological Perspective on Expression

Expression isn’t just about speaking or acting — it’s about being authentically known.

Drug-induced expression can feel profound, but often lacks integration into daily, sober reality.

Over time, genuine emotional expression may become suppressed as drug use replaces personal growth or inner work.

From a Parapsychological Angle?

If we stretch into transpersonal psychology or parapsychology, drug use may:

Open non-ordinary states of consciousness that mimic mystical or intimate experiences.

But these openings, if not earned through personal development, can be unstable or misleading.

True intimacy might require spiritual maturity, NOT chemical enhancement.

“The use of illegal drugs could result in death.”

Shervan K Shahhian

Understanding of Ethical of Pleasure:

Understanding of Ethical of Pleasure:

The ethics of pleasure refers to philosophical perspectives and moral questions surrounding the pursuit and experience of pleasure.

It asks: When is pleasure good or bad? Is it ethical to seek pleasure? Are all pleasures equal? Here’s an overview of key approaches to understanding this:

1. Hedonism

Core Idea: Pleasure is the highest good and proper aim of human life.

Ethical Hedonism (e.g., Epicurus): Not all pleasures are worth pursuing. Long-term well-being and tranquility (ataraxia) are more valuable than short-term indulgence.

Utilitarianism (e.g., Jeremy Bentham, John Stuart Mill): Moral actions are those that maximize pleasure and minimize pain for the greatest number of people.

Mill distinguished between higher (intellectual, moral) and lower (bodily) pleasures.

2. Stoicism

Opposite of hedonism in many ways.

Believes pleasure is not inherently good; virtue and wisdom are the true goals.

Seeking pleasure can lead to dependency and loss of inner peace.

3. Christian Ethics & Religious Views

Often view pleasure with caution — associated with temptation and sin.

But not all pleasure is condemned: joy, love, and divine experiences can be virtuous.

Ethical pleasure is often framed as selflessspiritual, or aligned with God’s will.

4. Modern Perspectives

Psychology & Ethics: Understanding how pleasure impacts well-being, relationships, and society.

Consent and Harm: Ethical pleasure respects boundaries, autonomy, and avoids harm to others (e.g., in sexuality, consumption, entertainment).

Authenticity: Some modern thinkers explore whether pleasure is meaningful or superficial — linked to consumerism vs. deeper fulfillment.

5. Existential and Postmodern Views

Question whether pleasure has objective meaning.

Emphasize individual choice, freedom, and authenticity over any fixed “ethical code” of pleasure.

Core Ethical Questions:

Is it okay to seek pleasure if it doesn’t harm others?

Can too much pleasure be bad for the soul or mind?

Is pleasure a byproduct of living well, or should it be a life goal?

How do we weigh personal pleasure against communal or environmental impact?

Shervan K Shahhian

Understanding Digital Attachment:

Understanding Digital Attachment:

“Digital attachment” refers to the emotional or psychological connection people form with digital devices, platforms, or content. It’s a relatively new concept that blends insights from psychology, technology, and sociology.

Here are a few ways to understand it more deeply:

What Is Digital Attachment?

Digital attachment describes how people form bonds — sometimes even dependency — on digital technologies, such as:

Smartphones

Social media

Virtual assistants (like AI chatbots)

Online gaming communities

Digital avatars or relationships

These bonds can be positive (like connection and support) or problematic (like dependence or withdrawal anxiety).

Psychological Roots

Digital attachment draws from classic attachment theory, originally developed by Bowlby and Ainsworth, which looked at how early human relationships form (especially child-caregiver). In the digital age, this framework is applied to tech-mediated relationships:

Secure attachment: Tech is used as a helpful tool without dependency.

Anxious attachment: People feel unsettled without constant connectivity.

Avoidant attachment: Individuals reject or distrust digital intimacy.

Examples of Digital Attachment

Phantom vibration syndrome — Feeling your phone buzz when it didn’t.

Social media anxiety — Constantly checking for likes or messages.

Parasocial relationships — Deep emotional bonds with YouTubers, streamers, or digital influencers.

Attachment to AI or bots — Emotional comfort from chatting with digital assistants or AI friends.

Healthy vs Unhealthy Attachment

Healthy Attachment Unhealthy Attachment Aware of usage Compulsive checking Balanced screen time Ignoring real-life responsibilities Tech as tool Tech as emotional crutch

Why It Matters

Understanding digital attachment helps in:

Mental health awareness

Parenting and managing screen time

Therapy for digital addiction

Design ethics in app and game development

Shervan K Shahhian

Split Personality, what is it:

Split Personality, what is it:

“Split personality” is a term that’s often used in everyday language, but in psychology, the actual clinical term is Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID).

Here’s a quick breakdown:

1. What it is: DID is a severe dissociative disorder where a person experiences two or more distinct identities or personality states — each with its own patterns of perceiving and interacting with the world. These identities may have their own names, voices, ages, genders, even memories and preferences.

2. Causes: It’s usually linked to severe trauma in early childhood, such as extreme abuse or neglect. The mind creates alternate identities as a defense mechanism to “compartmentalize” or escape overwhelming experiences.

3. Key features:

Amnesia or memory gaps — the person may not recall important personal information, especially related to the other identities.

Switching between identities — this can be sudden and triggered by stress or reminders of trauma.

Each identity (or “alter”) may have its own behaviors, accents, postures, etc.

4. Common myths:

DID is not the same as schizophrenia. Schizophrenia involves hallucinations, delusions, and disorganized thinking, but not multiple personalities.

It’s not about being “moody” or just having different sides to your personality.

5. Treatment:

Psychotherapy is the main treatment — often long-term and focused on integrating the identities, or at least helping them coexist in a way that’s less disruptive.

Trauma work is a huge part of the healing process.

Shervan K Shahhian

Understanding Attachment-Informed Grief Therapy:

Understanding Attachment-Informed Grief Therapy:

Attachment-Informed Grief Therapy is an approach to grief counseling or therapy that integrates attachment theory — originally developed by John Bowlby — with the understanding of how people experience and process grief.

Here’s a clear breakdown of what it is and why it matters:

 What Is Attachment Theory?

Attachment theory says that human beings form deep emotional bonds (attachments) with others, especially early caregivers. These bonds affect how we relate to others and how we handle loss and separation throughout life.

People tend to develop one of these attachment styles:

Secure attachment — generally trusting, open to closeness.

Anxious attachment — fears abandonment, seeks excessive reassurance.

Avoidant attachment — downplays needs, avoids closeness.

Disorganized attachment — conflicted, often from trauma or abuse.

How Attachment Affects Grief

When someone dies (or is lost), the intensity and nature of the grief can be strongly influenced by the type of attachment the person had with the deceased and their general attachment style.

Securely attached individuals usually grieve in a healthy way — though the pain is deep, they tend to integrate the loss over time.

Anxiously attached people may struggle with overwhelming grief, preoccupation with the deceased, and difficulty moving on.

Avoidantly attached individuals may appear to cope well, but often suppress or deny grief, which can lead to unresolved issues later.

Disorganized attachment often leads to very complicated grief — swinging between extremes, feeling unsafe or stuck.

 What Happens in Attachment-Informed Grief Therapy?

This approach considers:

The client’s attachment style

The nature of their relationship with the deceased

How they cope with separation and emotional pain

Therapy might include:

Helping the client process and express suppressed emotions safely.

Addressing unresolved attachment trauma that may surface during grief.

Encouraging development of new internal representations of the lost person (e.g., internalizing their voice, values).

Building or reinforcing secure internal attachment models through the therapeutic relationship.

Exploring how the grief experience reflects attachment wounds, and working toward repair.

Techniques Used May Include:

Emotion-focused therapy (EFT)

Narrative therapy (rewriting the story of the relationship and loss)

Internal Family Systems (IFS) for dealing with inner parts that are stuck in grief

Mindfulness and somatic awareness to address avoidant/dissociative reactions

Psychoeducation on attachment and grief

Example:

A client who lost a parent and has an anxious attachment style may obsessively revisit the last conversation, feel extreme guilt, and fear they’ll never be loved again. Therapy would:

Help them soothe those attachment anxieties

Reframe the relationship

Validate the grief while guiding integration

Strengthen secure internal connections

Shervan K Shahhian

Utilize the Unfinished Business in Bereavement Scale, why:

Utilize the Unfinished Business in Bereavement Scale, why:


Using the Unfinished Business in Bereavement Scale (UBBS) can be very valuable in both clinical and research contexts. 

Here’s why it can be useful, especially from a psychological or parapsychological perspective:

Why Use the Unfinished Business in Bereavement Scale (UBBS)?
1. Identifies Unresolved Grief
The UBBS helps detect lingering emotional issues, such as:

Unexpressed feelings

Unresolved conflicts

Regrets or missed opportunities with the deceased

These can deeply affect the grieving process and overall mental health.

2. Promotes Psychological Healing
Understanding unfinished business allows therapists to:

Target specific themes (e.g., guilt, anger, forgiveness)

Create interventions such as guided imagery, letter writing, or gestalt empty-chair work

Facilitate closure through symbolic or therapeutic acts

3. Predicts Complicated Grief & Mental Health Risks
High UBBS scores can signal risk factors for:

Prolonged grief disorder

Depression

Anxiety

PTSD symptoms

It serves as an early warning system for deeper emotional or psychological complications.

4. Supports Tailored Interventions
It allows practitioners to personalize grief therapy based on a client’s unique emotional ties and unresolved issues with the deceased.

For example:

Someone grieving a parent may have different unresolved themes than someone mourning a partner.

It also helps spiritual or existential counselors guide clients through meaning-making processes.

5. Valuable for Parapsychological Exploration
 parapsychology — unfinished business may relate to:

Continued bonds or communication with the deceased

Psychic impressions during grief

Spontaneous after-death communication

The UBBS can be a tool to assess whether such phenomena are linked to unresolved emotional ties, helping you distinguish between emotional projections and potential anomalous experiences.

Shervan K Shahhian

How to find meaning in Traumatic Loss:


How to find meaning in Traumatic Loss:


Finding meaning in traumatic loss is one of the hardest — but also potentially most transformative — human experiences. The path is never linear, and it often comes in waves. 

But here are some grounded and compassionate ways to approach it:

1. Let Yourself Grieve Fully
Grief is not something to fix; it’s something to honor. Traumatic loss shatters the world you knew — and that shattering needs space. Suppressing grief can delay healing.

Allow anger, sadness, confusion, even numbness. All are valid.

There’s no timeline — your grief unfolds in your way.

2. Seek Connection
Pain isolates, but healing happens in connection — not just with people, but with the world, with spirit, and with your own inner self.

Talk to someone who gets it — a therapist, a spiritual guide, a support group.

Don’t underestimate the power of simply being witnessed.

3. Create Rituals of Remembrance
Ritual gives structure to chaos. It can help you hold the memory of what was lost while inviting new meaning to emerge.

Light a candle, write letters, plant a tree.

Or invent a private ritual that feels sacred to you.

4. Explore Spiritual or Philosophical Perspectives
Sometimes meaning comes from asking deeper questions: What is life? Why do we suffer? What still connects us to those we’ve lost?

Look to your spiritual beliefs or explore new ones.

Practices like meditation, CRV, dreamwork, or prayer can open new doors.

5. Channel the Pain into Something Bigger
This is what Viktor Frankl called “tragic optimism” — the ability to transform suffering into something that affirms life.

Create art, start a cause, write, speak, help others.

Let their memory do something in the world.

6. Accept That Meaning May Be Elusive
Sometimes, meaning doesn’t come right away. Or it shifts over time. And sometimes, it’s not a grand insight, but a quiet knowing:

“I survived. I loved. I remembered.”

7. Listen to the Messages in the Pain
In Parapsychology and transpersonal psychology, we often explore whether loss contains teachings or messages — sometimes from the departed, sometimes from the soul.

Do you feel nudges in dreams?

Are synchronicities showing up?

Is something calling you to grow in a way you never expected?

These can be whispers of a deeper meaning emerging.

Shervan K Shahhian

Understanding Tripartite Model of Meaning Reconstruction:

Understanding Tripartite Model of Meaning Reconstruction:

The Tripartite Model of Meaning Reconstruction is a framework used primarily in the context of grief and bereavement psychology, particularly in understanding how individuals make sense of loss. It was developed by Robert A. Neimeyer, a leading figure in the study of grief and meaning-making.

The model suggests that people reconstruct meaning after loss through three interrelated processes:

  1. Sense-Making
    This involves trying to understand why the loss occurred and how it fits into one’s worldview.
    Questions might include:

“Why did this happen?”

“What does this mean about life, fairness, or God?”

“How could this happen to someone like me or them?”

Sense-making is especially crucial when the loss is sudden, traumatic, or seemingly unjust. Without a sense of meaning, people can feel stuck in grief.

  1. Benefit-Finding
    This is about identifying positive changes or growth that arise as a result of the loss.
    Examples might be:

Greater empathy or compassion

Closer relationships with others

A renewed sense of purpose

Appreciation for life

Benefit-finding doesn’t diminish the pain of loss — it helps people integrate it into their lives in a way that leads to resilience.

  1. Identity Change
    Loss often prompts a shift in how one sees themselves — their roles, values, and goals.
    People ask:

“Who am I now without them?”

“How has this loss reshaped my identity or purpose?”

“What kind of person am I becoming?”

This aspect ties into existential psychology, where grief isn’t just about what was lost, but who we are now in the absence of what was.

Why It Matters:
The tripartite model helps therapists and practitioners guide clients through the reconstruction of a meaningful life post-loss. It emphasizes that grief is not just about letting go — it’s about rebuilding a narrative that integrates the loss in a way that’s coherent and adaptive.

Shervan K Shahhian

Addressing key obstacles in Traumatic Bereavement:

Addressing key obstacles in Traumatic Bereavement:

Traumatic bereavement presents several key obstacles that can complicate the grieving process. These can be both psychological and physical in nature.

Here are some of the most significant challenges:

1. Shock and Disbelief

The initial phase of traumatic bereavement often involves a state of shock and disbelief. The loss feels surreal, and the individual may struggle to accept that their loved one is truly gone. This can interfere with the natural grieving process, delaying emotional healing.

Intervention: Gently encourage the person to accept the reality of the loss, while providing emotional support. Grief counseling or therapy can help in processing the emotions that come with disbelief.

2. Intense Emotional Pain and Despair

Intense feelings of sadness, guilt, anger, and even feelings of abandonment can overwhelm someone who has experienced traumatic loss. These emotions can be extreme and persistent, sometimes leading to complicated grief.

Intervention: Psychological support, such as grief therapy or trauma-focused cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), can help individuals navigate these difficult emotions. Meditation and mindfulness practices might also help in reducing emotional overload.

3. Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)

In cases of traumatic loss — especially in violent or sudden circumstances — individuals may develop PTSD symptoms. These symptoms include flashbacks, nightmares, hypervigilance, and an ongoing sense of fear or threat.

Intervention: Trauma-focused therapy, such as Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR), or a combination of trauma-focused cognitive therapy (TF-CBT) and mindfulness, can help in addressing PTSD.

4. Disrupted Sense of Identity

Losing a loved one, especially if they were a central figure in the individual’s life, can cause a crisis of identity. The survivor might feel as if their purpose and sense of self have been shattered.

Intervention: Support through this phase can involve helping the person rediscover or redefine their identity. This might involve working on self-esteem, engaging in meaningful activities, or creating new connections that offer purpose.

5. Complicated Grief

Some individuals experience grief that does not seem to progress in a healthy way. They may feel stuck in their grief or unable to let go of their loved one, leading to prolonged emotional distress.

Intervention: Grief counseling or therapy can help guide the individual through the stages of grief and identify any unresolved issues that may be contributing to complicated grief.

6. Social Isolation

Traumatic bereavement can lead to social withdrawal as the individual might feel misunderstood or isolated from others who have not experienced similar losses. This sense of isolation can further compound the grief.

Intervention: Encouraging the person to reach out for support, whether through a grief group, trusted friends, or family, can help mitigate isolation. Online communities and support groups can also be beneficial.

7. Physical Health Issues

Grief, especially from traumatic loss, can manifest physically — such as through sleep disturbances, loss of appetite, or fatigue. This can weaken the individual’s overall resilience.

Intervention: Encouraging self-care, a balanced diet, adequate sleep, and physical activity can help reduce the physical toll of grief. Consulting with a healthcare provider for any physical symptoms is also essential.

8. Guilt and Regret

After a traumatic loss, feelings of guilt or regret often surface. The individual may feel they could have done something differently or that they failed to prevent the loss.

Intervention: Acknowledging and working through these feelings of guilt in therapy can help an individual understand that many aspects of life and death are beyond their control.

9. Difficulty Moving Forward

After experiencing traumatic bereavement, individuals may feel a profound sense of meaninglessness, struggling to imagine a future without their loved one.

Intervention: Encouraging small steps toward rebuilding a sense of purpose and involving the person in activities they once enjoyed can help them slowly reintegrate into life. Life-affirming practices and spirituality may also assist in finding a sense of meaning.

Addressing these obstacles often requires a combination of professional support, personal coping strategies, and time. Everyone’s grief journey is unique, so interventions must be individualized and compassionate, providing the space for the person to grieve in their own way and at their own pace.

Shervan K Shahhian

Understanding Grief-Informed Care:

Understanding Grief-Informed Care:

Grief-Informed Care (GIC) is an approach to providing support and services to individuals who are experiencing grief, loss, or bereavement. It takes into account the emotional, psychological, and physical impact of grief on a person’s well-being and seeks to provide a compassionate, understanding, and holistic framework for care.

Here are some key components of Grief-Informed Care:

Recognizing Grief as a Complex Experience: Grief is unique to each person and can manifest in various ways, including emotional, physical, cognitive, and behavioral symptoms. GIC acknowledges that grief may not follow a linear path and that people may experience a range of emotions, from sadness to anger, guilt, and even relief.

Empathy and Validation: One of the core principles of GIC is to approach individuals with empathy and to validate their grief. This means listening to the person’s experience without judgment or minimizing their feelings, allowing them to express their emotions in a safe and supportive environment.

Cultural Sensitivity: Grief can be influenced by cultural beliefs, practices, and traditions. Grief-Informed Care is sensitive to these cultural differences, understanding that grief is not universal, and care should respect and align with cultural customs and rites of passage related to loss.

Supporting Emotional and Psychological Healing: GIC focuses on helping individuals cope with the emotional challenges of grief. This may involve counseling, mental health support, or simply offering a space for individuals to talk about their loss.

Recognizing the Impact on Other Aspects of Life: Grief can affect various domains of life, including relationships, work, and physical health. GIC aims to recognize and address these impacts, helping individuals adjust to changes in their life circumstances.

Long-Term Support: Grief does not have a set timeframe, and people may continue to experience grief long after a loss. Grief-Informed Care recognizes that ongoing support may be needed, including periodic check-ins or offering resources over time.

Self-Care for Providers: Those providing grief-informed care must also recognize the emotional toll it may take on them. Self-care strategies for providers, such as seeking supervision or peer support, are important to prevent burnout and ensure they can offer compassionate care.

In essence, Grief-Informed Care is about understanding the profound effects of loss and offering support that is sensitive, respectful, and empowering to those navigating through their grief. This can be applied in various settings such as healthcare, mental health, education, and social services.

Shervan K Shahhian