How to overcome Perfectionism:


How to overcome Perfectionism:

Overcoming perfectionism can be challenging, but it’s possible with consistent effort and some practical strategies. 

Here are some steps to help manage and reduce perfectionist tendencies:

1. Recognize Perfectionism

  • The first step is to identify perfectionist thoughts and behaviors. These might include setting unrealistically high standards, excessive self-criticism, and procrastination.
  • Notice when you start striving for perfection or fear making mistakes.

2. Shift Your Mindset

  • Embrace Imperfection: Understand that nobody is perfect, and mistakes are a part of growth. Perfectionism can hold you back, whereas learning from mistakes can help you improve.
  • Change the “All or Nothing” Thinking: Perfectionists often think in extremes (e.g., “I must do this perfectly, or I’ve failed”). Try to adopt a more balanced mindset where progress and effort are valued.

3. Set Realistic Goals

  • Break tasks into smaller, manageable steps and set realistic, achievable goals instead of aiming for unattainable perfection.
  • Focus on completing a task well rather than obsessing over every detail.

4. Challenge Perfectionist Thoughts

  • When you catch yourself thinking something needs to be perfect, ask yourself, “What’s the worst that could happen if it’s not perfect?” Often, the consequences are less severe than you think.
  • Reframe negative self-talk into more constructive thoughts.

5. Practice Self-Compassion

  • Be kind to yourself, especially when you don’t meet your own high standards. Recognize that everyone has strengths and weaknesses.
  • Allow yourself to make mistakes and learn from them rather than criticizing yourself.

6. Limit the Time Spent on Tasks

  • Set a time limit for tasks to prevent overthinking or spending too much time trying to perfect something. This helps you focus on completion rather than perfection.
  • Try to commit to the “good enough” standard for tasks, and move on once you’ve met your objectives.

7. Focus on the Process, Not Just the Outcome

  • Enjoy the process of doing something rather than just focusing on the final result. This can help reduce the pressure to achieve perfection.

8. Celebrate Progress, Not Perfection

  • Acknowledge your efforts and improvements, even if they are not perfect. Celebrate small wins along the way.

9. Seek Support

  • Sometimes, perfectionism can be linked to underlying anxiety or stress. Talking to a therapist or counselor can help you work through perfectionistic tendencies.
  • Discuss your struggles with trusted friends or family, who can offer encouragement and help you gain perspective.

10. Practice Mindfulness

  • Mindfulness helps you stay present and focus on the task at hand, reducing the need to overanalyze every detail.
  • Techniques like meditation or deep breathing can also help calm the inner critic that fuels perfectionism.

Remember, overcoming perfectionism takes time, and progress might be gradual. Patience with yourself and a commitment to change will help you shift toward a healthier, more balanced approach to life and work.

Shervan K Shahhian

How can Mental Health professionals help Overwhelmed Individuals:

How can Mental Health professionals help Overwhelmed Individuals:

Mental health professionals play a crucial role in supporting individuals who feel overwhelmed by providing effective strategies, guidance, and emotional support.

Here are some ways they can help:

Assessment and Diagnosis:

  • They can assess the individual’s emotional and mental state to identify underlying issues like anxiety, depression, burnout, or trauma that may contribute to their feeling of being overwhelmed.
  • Understanding the root cause allows the professional to tailor interventions effectively.

Therapeutic Techniques:

  • Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT): This helps individuals identify negative thought patterns that exacerbate feelings of being overwhelmed and work on replacing them with more positive, realistic thinking.
  • Mindfulness and Relaxation Techniques: These strategies, like meditation, breathing exercises, and grounding techniques, help manage stress and anxiety.
  • Stress Management Techniques: Mental health professionals can teach ways to reduce and manage stress, such as time management, prioritization, and setting boundaries.

Emotional Support:

  • Listening without judgment allows individuals to express their feelings openly. Just talking through their overwhelming emotions can help them feel understood and less isolated.
  • Validation of their feelings is key to helping them feel supported.

Building Coping Skills:

  • Mental health professionals can teach coping mechanisms that enhance resilience. These could be behavioral skills or emotional regulation strategies that help people handle difficult situations better.

Goal Setting and Problem Solving:

  • Professionals can assist clients in breaking down complex problems or tasks into smaller, manageable steps, thus reducing the sense of being overwhelmed.
  • Setting achievable short-term goals can help restore a sense of control and accomplishment.

Self-Care Strategies:

  • Encouraging individuals to prioritize their physical and mental well-being through healthy routines, exercise, proper sleep, and nutrition can improve their ability to handle stress.

Providing Resources and Referrals:

  • Mental health professionals can connect individuals with support groups, crisis intervention services, or even other specialists if the individual requires more comprehensive support, such as medication or long-term care.

Promoting Healthy Relationships:

  • Often, feelings of being overwhelmed are linked to relationship issues. A mental health professional can guide individuals in setting boundaries, improving communication, and building healthier relationships that alleviate stress.

Psychotherapy for Underlying Trauma:

  • If past trauma contributes to the overwhelming feelings, trauma-focused therapies, such as EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) or trauma-focused CBT, can help process and reduce emotional distress.

By helping individuals understand their emotions, build coping strategies, and improve their overall mental health, professionals can empower them to regain balance and control over their lives.

Shervan K Shahhian

Deep Trauma, what is it, and how to manage it:

Deep Trauma, what is it, and how to manage it:

Deep trauma refers to severe emotional, psychological, or physical harm that leaves a lasting impact on an individual’s mental health and overall well-being. It is often the result of overwhelming or life-threatening experiences that disrupt a person’s sense of safety, stability, or self-worth. Deep trauma can stem from events like abuse, neglect, accidents, loss of a loved one, war, or natural disasters. It often manifests in conditions such as post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), complex PTSD (C-PTSD), anxiety, depression, or dissociation.

Characteristics of Deep Trauma

  1. Emotional Distress: Persistent feelings of sadness, fear, anger, or numbness.
  2. Intrusive Thoughts: Flashbacks, nightmares, or recurrent memories of the traumatic event.
  3. Avoidance: Avoiding places, people, or activities that remind the individual of the trauma.
  4. Hyperarousal: Increased vigilance, irritability, or difficulty relaxing.
  5. Identity and Relationship Issues: Difficulty trusting others, low self-esteem, or challenges in forming healthy relationships.

Managing Deep Trauma

Managing deep trauma involves a combination of strategies and professional interventions tailored to the individual’s needs. Here are some approaches:

1. Professional Therapy

  • Trauma-Focused Therapy: Techniques like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR), or somatic therapy are commonly used.
  • Psychodynamic Therapy: Helps uncover and address underlying issues related to the trauma.
  • Group Therapy: Provides support from others who have experienced similar challenges.

2. Self-Care Practices

  • Mindfulness and Relaxation: Practices like meditation, yoga, or deep breathing exercises can help regulate emotions.
  • Healthy Lifestyle: Adequate sleep, balanced nutrition, and regular physical activity support mental health.
  • Journaling: Writing about thoughts and feelings can provide emotional release and clarity.

3. Building a Support System

  • Trusted Relationships: Lean on friends, family, or support groups for emotional backing.
  • Community Support: Engaging with supportive communities can reduce feelings of isolation.

4. Learning Coping Skills

  • Grounding Techniques: These help bring focus back to the present moment during times of distress.
  • Stress Management: Identifying triggers and developing coping strategies to address them.

5. Medication

  • In some cases, medications like antidepressants or anti-anxiety drugs may be prescribed to manage symptoms. Always consult a healthcare provider.

6. Alternative Therapies

  • Activities like art therapy, music therapy, or equine-assisted therapy can offer creative outlets for healing.

Long-Term Healing

Healing from deep trauma is often a gradual process. It requires patience, commitment, and the willingness to confront and process difficult emotions. Progress might come in stages, and setbacks are normal. The key is to remain consistent in seeking support and employing effective strategies.

If you or someone you know is struggling with deep trauma, seeking help from a mental health professional is crucial. They can provide personalized guidance and a safe space for healing.

Shervan K Shahhian

The benefits of Group Coaching in Mental Health:

The benefits of Group Coaching in Mental Health:

Group coaching in mental health settings offers a variety of benefits for participants and facilitators.

These benefits stem from the unique dynamics of group interactions and the supportive environment they create. Here are some key advantages:

  1. Shared Experiences and Normalization
    Sense of Community: Group coaching fosters a sense of belonging as participants realize they are not alone in their challenges.
    Normalization: Hearing others share similar struggles helps individuals feel understood and reduces feelings of isolation or stigma.

2. Cost-Effectiveness
Group sessions are often more affordable than one-on-one coaching, making mental health support accessible to more individuals.

3. Peer Support and Feedback
Participants benefit from diverse perspectives and insights shared by others in the group.
Peer support can inspire hope and motivate individuals to take action.

4. Skill Development in a Safe Environment
Group coaching provides a space to practice communication, social, and coping skills in real-time with others.
Facilitators can guide participants through exercises and discussions, helping them apply learned skills in their daily lives.

5. Enhanced Accountability and Motivation
Groups provide built-in accountability through shared goals and regular check-ins.
Witnessing others’ progress can encourage participants to stay committed to their own goals.

6. Empowerment Through Collective Wisdom
Participants draw on the collective knowledge and experiences of the group, which can lead to creative problem-solving and personal growth.
Sharing successes reinforces a sense of achievement and empowerment for both the individual and the group.

7. Therapeutic Effects of Giving
Contributing advice, support, or encouragement to others can be empowering and therapeutic for participants.

8. Diverse Perspectives
The variety of backgrounds and experiences in a group enriches discussions and widens understanding of mental health issues.

9. Structured yet Flexible Approach
Group coaching often follows a structured curriculum or framework, while allowing room for individual and group needs to guide discussions.

10. Efficiency for Coaches
Coaches can work with multiple clients simultaneously, maximizing their impact and time.

11. Adaptable to Various Needs
Group coaching can address a wide range of mental health topics, such as stress management, resilience building, or improving self-esteem.
Examples of Group Coaching Applications in Mental Health:
Mindfulness and Stress Reduction Groups: Teaching participants mindfulness techniques in a collaborative setting.
Resilience and Coping Skills: Helping individuals develop tools to manage anxiety, depression, or other challenges.
Behavioral Health Groups: Focused coaching for individuals with shared goals, such as weight management or addiction recovery.
Group coaching can be a powerful complement to individual therapy or coaching, offering unique benefits derived from group dynamics and shared human connection.

Shervan K Shahhian

Media Psychology, a great explanation:

Media Psychology, a great explanation:

Media Psychology is the branch of psychology that focuses on understanding how people interact with media and technology, and how these interactions affect their thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. It bridges the gap between traditional psychological principles and the evolving world of media, including television, film, video games, social media, and virtual reality.

Key Areas of Media Psychology:

Cognitive Effects: Examining how media content influences attention, memory, decision-making, and learning processes. For instance, how does binge-watching a series affect cognitive functioning?

Emotional Impact: Studying the ways media triggers emotional responses, from joy and excitement to fear and anxiety. An example would be how suspense in movies generates physiological arousal.

Social Influence: Investigating how media shapes social behaviors, attitudes, and norms. This includes the role of influencers, online communities, and media campaigns in changing societal perspectives.

Identity and Self-Perception: Exploring how media affects self-esteem, body image, and personal identity, especially in the context of social media, where curated images and lifestyles are often on display.

Media Usage Patterns: Analyzing consumption habits, such as screen time, multitasking, and preferences for different types of content. Researchers look at how these habits affect daily life and productivity.

Persuasion and Advertising: Understanding how media is used to persuade, whether through commercials, political campaigns, or branded content. Media psychologists study what makes messages effective and how they influence consumer behavior.

Technology Interaction: Investigating human interaction with new technologies like artificial intelligence, virtual reality, and augmented reality. This includes how immersive experiences can influence behavior and learning.

Developmental Aspects: Considering how different age groups, from children to the elderly, engage with media and the unique psychological effects on each demographic.

Practical Applications:

  • Entertainment: Designing engaging and emotionally resonant content for films, TV, and video games.
  • Education: Creating media-based learning tools that enhance understanding and retention.
  • Health and Well-being: Developing interventions, such as apps or campaigns, to promote mental health and positive behaviors.
  • Marketing and Communication: Crafting persuasive messages to influence consumer attitudes and behaviors.

Media Psychology emphasizes both the positive and negative effects of media, aiming to maximize its benefits while mitigating potential harms. It’s a dynamic and evolving field, adapting alongside rapid technological advancements.

Shervan K Shahhian

Parapsychology and Dreams, Nightmares and Sleepwalking:

Parapsychology and Dreams, nightmares and sleepwalking:

Parapsychology and phenomena like dreams, nightmares, and sleepwalking intersect in fascinating ways.

Here’s an overview of these topics and their connections:

1. Parapsychology and Dreams

Parapsychology explores psychic phenomena that seem to go beyond conventional scientific explanations, such as extrasensory perception (ESP), telepathy, and precognition. Dreams are often seen as a potential gateway to these phenomena due to their mysterious and often symbolic nature.

  • Telepathic Dreams: Claims of shared dreams or dreams where one person seems to perceive another’s thoughts or feelings remotely.
  • Precognitive Dreams: Dreams that appear to predict future events. Many anecdotes exist where people dream of something that later happens, though skeptics argue this could be coincidence or selective memory.
  • Lucid Dreaming: This state of awareness during dreams is sometimes studied for its potential to explore the subconscious and, in parapsychological circles, as a method to tap into psychic abilities.

2. Nightmares and Parapsychology

Nightmares are intense and often distressing dreams that evoke fear, anxiety, or dread. While conventional science attributes nightmares to psychological stress, trauma, or neurological factors, parapsychology considers other possibilities:

  • Spirit or Entity Influence: Some traditions believe nightmares could be influenced by external spirits or malevolent entities.
  • Astral Experiences: In parapsychological and esoteric beliefs, nightmares might be linked to “astral attacks” or encounters during out-of-body experiences.
  • Emotional Energy: Nightmares could reflect psychic energy or emotional imprints left in an environment.

3. Sleepwalking and Paranormal Ideas

Sleepwalking, or somnambulism, is a disorder where people perform activities while asleep. While science attributes it to disruptions in deep sleep cycles, parapsychologists and spiritual practitioners occasionally view it differently:

  • Possession or Influence: Some cultures interpret sleepwalking as a result of spiritual possession or influence by external forces.
  • Connection to Past Lives: There are parapsychological theories that link sleepwalking to actions tied to unresolved experiences from past lives.
  • Energy Fields: Sleepwalking might, in some beliefs, relate to disruptions in an individual’s energy or aura.

Scientific and Psychological Perspectives

While parapsychology offers intriguing theories, mainstream science provides explanations grounded in psychology and neuroscience:

  • Dreams: Reflect brain activity, memory consolidation, and emotional processing.
  • Nightmares: Often linked to stress, trauma, or conditions like PTSD.
  • Sleepwalking: Connected to partial arousals during sleep and is common in children due to brain development factors.

Exploration and Integration

Whether approached scientifically, spiritually, or parapsychologically, dreams, nightmares, and sleepwalking remain rich areas of inquiry. Exploring these phenomena can involve:

  • Dream Journaling: To analyze recurring themes or potential precognitive patterns.
  • Meditation and Relaxation: To reduce nightmares and improve sleep quality.
  • Lucid Dreaming Techniques: For those interested in exploring their dream worlds consciously.

Shervan K Shahhian

How to Defeat Self-Doubt:

How to Defeat Self-Doubt:

Overcoming self-doubt is a journey that requires patience, self-compassion, and consistent effort. 

Here are strategies to help you conquer self-doubt:

1. Identify the Source of Your Doubts

  • Reflect on what triggers your self-doubt. Is it past failures, criticism, perfectionism, or fear of judgment?
  • Understanding the root cause can help you address it directly.

2. Challenge Negative Thoughts

  • Recognize negative self-talk and question its validity.
  • Replace thoughts like “I’m not good enough” with “I’m learning and improving every day.”

3. Focus on Your Strengths

  • List your accomplishments and skills. Celebrate even small victories.
  • Remind yourself of times you succeeded despite challenges.

4. Set Realistic Goals

  • Break down your objectives into manageable steps.
  • Celebrate progress rather than expecting perfection.

5. Practice Self-Compassion

  • Treat yourself with kindness, as you would a friend.
  • Forgive yourself for mistakes and view them as learning opportunities.

6. Surround Yourself with Supportive People

  • Seek out individuals who uplift and encourage you.
  • Limit time spent with those who fuel your insecurities.

7. Take Action

  • Procrastination often amplifies self-doubt. Start small and build momentum.
  • Each step forward reinforces your confidence.

8. Learn from Failures

  • Embrace failure as part of the growth process.
  • Analyze what went wrong and how you can improve without blaming yourself harshly.

9. Adopt a Growth Mindset

  • Believe that abilities and intelligence can be developed with effort.
  • View challenges as opportunities to grow.

10. Seek Professional Help if Needed

  • Therapists or coaches can provide guidance tailored to your situation.
  • They can help you identify patterns and develop coping strategies.

11. Practice Gratitude and Mindfulness

  • Focus on the positive aspects of your life and achievements.
  • Use mindfulness to stay present and reduce overthinking.

12. Take Care of Your Well-Being

  • Ensure you’re eating well, exercising, and getting enough rest.
  • Physical health directly impacts mental resilience.

By consistently applying these strategies, you can gradually build confidence and diminish self-doubt. It’s a process, so be patient and gentle with yourself along the way.

Shervan K Shahhian

How to manage feelings of Sadness & Fatigue:

How to manage feelings of Sadness & Fatigue:

Managing feelings of sadness and fatigue can be challenging, but there are strategies that may help. These feelings could stem from physical, emotional, or situational causes, so addressing them holistically is often the most effective approach.

Here’s a breakdown of ways to manage them:


1. Acknowledge Your Feelings

  • Accept your emotions without judgment. Recognizing sadness or fatigue is the first step toward addressing them.
  • Journaling can help you explore what might be triggering these feelings.

2. Take Care of Your Body

  • Sleep: Ensure you’re getting 7–9 hours of restful sleep. Establish a consistent sleep schedule and bedtime routine.
  • Nutrition: Eat a balanced diet with plenty of fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and protein. Avoid excessive caffeine or sugar, which can cause energy crashes.
  • Exercise: Regular physical activity, even gentle exercises like walking or yoga, can boost mood and energy levels by releasing endorphins.

3. Practice Stress Management

  • Relaxation Techniques: Try mindfulness, meditation, deep breathing exercises, or progressive muscle relaxation.
  • Set boundaries: Avoid overcommitting to activities or responsibilities that drain your energy.
  • Break tasks into small steps: Focus on one thing at a time to prevent overwhelm.

4. Seek Social Support

  • Talk to someone: Share your feelings with a trusted friend, family member, or therapist.
  • Engage with your community: Participate in activities that connect you with others, whether it’s volunteering, joining a class, or spending time with loved ones.

5. Engage in Activities You Enjoy

  • Pursue hobbies or activities that bring you joy, even if they feel hard to start at first.
  • Experiment with creative outlets like painting, writing, or playing music to express your emotions.

6. Limit Negative Influences

  • Reduce exposure to news or social media if they make you feel worse.
  • Avoid substances like alcohol or drugs, which can exacerbate feelings of sadness and fatigue.

7. Consider Professional Help

  • Therapy: A mental health professional can help you process your emotions and develop coping strategies.
  • Medical Check-up: Persistent fatigue or sadness could indicate underlying conditions like depression, anxiety, or physical health issues (e.g., thyroid problems, anemia). Consult a doctor to rule out these possibilities.

8. Establish a Routine

  • A daily routine can help you regain a sense of control and stability. Include time for self-care, rest, and enjoyable activities.

9. Be Patient with Yourself

  • Healing and managing emotions take time. Celebrate small victories and practice self-compassion along the way.

If your feelings of sadness and fatigue persist or worsen, it’s essential to seek professional support. You don’t have to face this alone, and help is available.

Shervan K Shahhian

How to tackle Negative Thoughts:

How to tackle Negative Thoughts:

Tackling negative thoughts can be challenging, but with the right strategies, you can manage them effectively and develop a more positive mindset. Here are some approaches:

1. Understand and Identify Negative Thoughts

  • Self-awareness: Recognize when negative thoughts arise. Pay attention to triggers, patterns, or situations that lead to them.
  • Label the thought: Ask yourself, “Is this thought helpful or unhelpful?”

2. Challenge the Thought

  • Question its validity: Ask, “Is this thought based on facts, or is it an assumption?”
  • Reframe it: Replace negative thoughts with balanced or positive alternatives. For example, instead of “I always fail,” think, “Sometimes I fail, but I also succeed.”
  • Evidence check: Look for evidence supporting or contradicting the thought.

3. Practice Mindfulness

  • Stay present instead of dwelling on the past or worrying about the future.
  • Use mindfulness techniques like deep breathing or meditation to observe thoughts without judgment.

4. Engage in Positive Activities

  • Distract yourself with activities that bring joy or relaxation, such as hobbies, exercise, or socializing.
  • Surround yourself with supportive and uplifting people.

5. Use Affirmations and Gratitude

  • Affirmations: Repeat positive statements like, “I am capable,” or “I am worthy.”
  • Gratitude: Reflect on things you’re grateful for daily. This shifts focus from negativity to positivity.

6. Set Realistic Goals

  • Break large tasks into smaller, achievable steps.
  • Celebrate small wins to build confidence.

7. Write It Down

  • Journaling: Write down your thoughts and feelings. This can help clarify your emotions and reduce their intensity.
  • Thought record: Document the situation, your thought, and a balanced perspective.

8. Practice Self-Compassion

  • Treat yourself with kindness and understanding, as you would a friend.
  • Acknowledge that everyone has negative thoughts and makes mistakes.

9. Seek Professional Help

  • If negative thoughts persist or become overwhelming, consider talking to a therapist or counselor.
  • Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is particularly effective for addressing negative thought patterns.

10. Develop a Routine

  • A consistent routine with healthy habits (e.g., balanced diet, regular exercise, and sufficient sleep) can improve mental well-being and reduce negativity.

Shervan K Shahhian

How to improve Mental Well-Being:

How to improve Mental Well-Being:

Improving mental well-being is a multifaceted process that involves nurturing your mind, body, and environment.

Here are practical strategies to enhance your mental health:

1. Develop Healthy Habits

  • Exercise Regularly: Physical activity releases endorphins, which boost mood. Aim for at least 30 minutes of moderate exercise most days.
  • Eat a Balanced Diet: Nutrient-rich foods, including fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and lean proteins, support brain health.
  • Sleep Well: Prioritize 7–9 hours of quality sleep each night to improve focus, mood, and resilience.

2. Manage Stress

  • Practice Relaxation Techniques: Engage in meditation, deep breathing, or yoga to reduce stress.
  • Set Boundaries: Learn to say “no” and avoid overcommitting yourself.
  • Take Breaks: Regular breaks during work or study can prevent burnout.

3. Cultivate Positive Relationships

  • Stay Connected: Maintain meaningful connections with friends, family, or support groups.
  • Communicate Openly: Share your thoughts and feelings with trusted individuals.
  • Engage in Community: Volunteering or joining clubs can provide a sense of purpose.

4. Focus on Personal Growth

  • Set Realistic Goals: Break goals into smaller steps to avoid feeling overwhelmed.
  • Learn Something New: Acquire a new skill or hobby to stimulate your mind.
  • Practice Gratitude: Keep a journal to note things you’re thankful for daily.

5. Limit Negative Influences

  • Reduce Screen Time: Avoid excessive use of social media, which can impact self-esteem.
  • Limit Substance Use: Avoid over-reliance on alcohol or drugs for coping.
  • Filter Your Environment: Spend time in positive, uplifting spaces.

6. Seek Professional Help

  • Therapy or Counseling: A mental health professional can provide tailored strategies and support.
  • Medication: For some conditions, medication prescribed by a doctor can help.
  • Support Groups: Connect with people who understand your experiences.

7. Practice Mindfulness and Self-Compassion

  • Live in the Moment: Pay attention to the present without judgment.
  • Be Kind to Yourself: Treat yourself with the same compassion you’d offer a friend.
  • Celebrate Small Wins: Acknowledge and appreciate your efforts and achievements.

Improving mental well-being is a journey that requires consistent effort and self-awareness. Start with small, manageable changes and gradually build habits that support a healthier mind and lifestyle.

Shervan K Shahhian