Self-Sabotage, explained:

Self-sabotage is when a person undermines their own goals, wellbeing, or values, often outside of conscious awareness, even though they genuinely want things to go well.

In simple terms:
one part of you wants growth, safety, love, or success — and another part interferes.

What self-sabotage actually is (psychologically)

Self-sabotage is not laziness or lack of willpower. It’s usually a protective survival strategy that once made sense.

It emerges when:

Success, closeness, calm, or visibility feels unsafe
The nervous system associates growth with threat, loss, shame, or punishment
Old learning overrides present-day reality

So the system says: “Better to fail in familiar ways than succeed and risk danger.”

Common forms of self-sabotage

Procrastinating right before important steps
Avoiding opportunities after working hard for them
Starting strong, then disengaging when things improve
Choosing familiar but harmful relationships
Creating conflict when closeness deepens
Dismissing praise or minimizing achievements
Breaking routines that support health or stability

Often it shows up right at the edge of change.

Why people self-sabotage

Some of the most common roots:

1. protective survival strategy
Success may mean visibility, responsibility, envy, or abandonment.

2. Fear of failure
Failing confirms a painful internal belief (“I’m not enough”), but paradoxically feels predictable.

3. Internalized shame or harsh superego
A part believes you don’t deserve ease, love, or good outcomes.

4. Attachment injuries
If closeness once led to harm, the system disrupts intimacy to stay safe.

5. Identity threat
Growth can destabilize who you learned you had to be to survive.

The paradox

Self-sabotage often:

Protects against emotional overwhelm
Preserves attachment or belonging
Maintains a coherent identity

Even though it causes suffering, it’s trying to prevent something worse.

What self-sabotage is NOT

It’s not stupidity
It’s not moral weakness
It’s not a lack of motivation
It’s not “wanting to fail”

It’s an outdated protection system running on old data.

How it begins to resolve

Self-sabotage softens when:

The protective intention is recognized, not attacked
Shame is reduced (not argued with)
Safety is increased at the nervous-system level
Change is titrated, not forced
New success is paired with regulation and support

Compassion, not pressure, is what updates the system.

Shervan K Shahhian

Global Self-Condemnation, what is it?

Global self-condemnation is a cognitive–emotional pattern in which a person judges their entire self as bad, defective, or unworthy based on specific mistakes, traits, or experiences.

Rather than thinking “I did something wrong,” the person concludes “I am wrong.”

Core Characteristics

Totalizing self-judgment: One flaw, failure, or behavior is taken as evidence that the whole self is bad.
Stable and global: The judgment feels permanent (“always,” “fundamentally”) and applies across contexts.
Moralized shame: Not just regret or guilt, but a sense of being inherently corrupt or unredeemable.
Resistant to evidence: Positive feedback or success doesn’t disconfirm the belief.

Common Forms

“I am a bad person.”
“There’s something wrong with me at my core.”
“If people really knew me, they’d reject me.”
“My past defines who I am.”

How It Differs From Related Constructs

Guilt → Behavior-focused (“I did something wrong”)
Shame → Self-focused but situational (“I feel bad about who I was then”)
Global self-condemnation → Identity-level and absolute (“I am bad, period”)

In CBT terms, it’s a global self-rating error.
In trauma psychology, it often reflects internalized blame or attachment injury.
In psychodynamic language, it resembles a harsh superego or introjected critical object.

Developmental & Trauma Links

Chronic criticism or moral shaming in childhood
Conditional attachment (“you’re lovable only if…”)
Religious or ideological absolutism
Trauma where self-blame preserved a sense of control
Environments where mistakes threatened belonging or safety

Psychological Functions (Why It Persists)

Paradoxically, global self-condemnation can:

Create a false sense of control (“If I’m bad, at least it makes sense”)
Prevent hope (which would risk disappointment)
Maintain attachment to critical caregivers or belief systems
Serve as a protective identity against vulnerability

Clinical Markers

Language of essence rather than action
Difficulty accepting compassion
Collapse into shame after minor errors
Strong resistance to self-forgiveness
Identity fusion with past behavior or symptoms

Therapeutic Reframes

Effective work usually involves:

De-globalizing identity (separating self from actions)
Restoring moral complexity (good people can do harmful things)
Contextualizing origins (how the belief once protected the person)
Developing self-compassion without bypassing responsibility
Relational repair (being seen without condemnation)

A key shift is from moral absolutism to human fallibility.

Shervan K Shahhian

Conversational Hypnosis, what is it:

Conversational Hypnosis — also called covert hypnosis or indirect hypnosis — is a communication technique used to influence someone’s subconscious mind through ordinary conversation, without them necessarily being aware that hypnosis is occurring.

Core Concept:

Conversational hypnosis uses language patterns, suggestion, and rapport-building to gently bypass the critical, analytical part of the mind and access the unconscious — where deeper change can happen (e.g., altering beliefs, attitudes, behaviors).

Key Techniques in Conversational Hypnosis:

Rapport Building
Establishing trust, empathy, and psychological alignment with the listener. Without rapport, the subconscious is less receptive.

Pacing and Leading
Start by stating observable truths (pacing), which builds agreement, then subtly guide the person toward a suggestion or desired thought (leading).

Example: “You’re sitting here reading this, maybe curious about how your mind works… and as you continue, you might begin to notice…”

Hypnotic Language Patterns (Ericksonian)
Inspired by Milton Erickson, these include:

Embedded commands: “You might begin to feel more confident.”
Double binds: “Would you prefer to relax now or in a few minutes?”
Tag questions: “That makes sense, doesn’t it?”
Implied causality: “As you sit here, you’ll naturally start to feel more at ease.”

Metaphors and Stories
Personal or symbolic stories bypass resistance and embed suggestions indirectly.

E.g., “I once knew someone who used to doubt themselves, but something shifted when they realized…”

Open Loops and Curiosity
Creating unresolved ideas or stories keeps the subconscious engaged and primed to accept suggestions.

“There’s something I want to tell you that could really change how you think about confidence…”

Applications of Conversational Hypnosis:

Therapy and coaching (e.g., building motivation, reducing anxiety)
Sales and negotiation (ethical influence)
Public speaking (engaging an audience deeply)
Personal development and habit change

Ethical Considerations:

Conversational hypnosis can be powerful and should be used with integrity. Misuse for manipulation or coercion can be harmful. When applied ethically, it’s a tool for positive influence, healing, and growth.

Here’s a simple example of a conversation using conversational hypnosis techniques, particularly drawn from Milton Erickson’s indirect approach. Imagine this is a therapist or coach helping someone feel more confident:

Scene: A client feels nervous about public speaking.

Coach:
“You know, a lot of people feel a little uncertain before they speak. And it’s perfectly natural, isn’t it? After all, when you care about something, it means you want to do it well… and just the fact that you care means something’s already working inside.”

(Rapport + pacing experience)

Client:
“Yeah, I guess so. I just get tense before I speak.”

Coach:
“And that tension… that’s just energy, really. A kind of energy that, once it shifts, can actually become focus. Have you noticed how sometimes when you’re doing something important, you almost forget the nervousness… and something else takes over?”

(Reframe + implied causality + open loop)

Client:
“Sometimes, yeah… when I’m in the zone.”

Coach:
“Exactly. And as you think about times you’ve been ‘in the zone,’ you might find it interesting… that the mind can remember that state and even return to it more easily than expected. Some people are surprised how quickly they can shift, once they allow that process to begin.”

(Embedded suggestion + indirect priming of internal resources)

Client:
“Huh, I never thought about it that way.”

Coach:
“Most people don’t, until they realize… that calm and confidence are already part of who they are. Maybe they were just waiting for the right moment to come back.”

What’s Happening Under the Surface:

No direct command like “Relax!” or “Be confident!”
Subtle suggestions are embedded within casual conversation.
The client’s subconscious is gently guided to associate past success with present potential.
The coach uses open language, reframing, and metaphors of natural learning and transformation.

Shervan K Shahhian

Practice brief intervention techniques that motivate real change without judgment or confrontation:

Yes — you can practice Brief Intervention (BI) techniques in a way that encourages change through empathy, curiosity, and collaboration rather than judgment or confrontation. These techniques are often rooted in Motivational Interviewing (MI), which focuses on helping people resolve ambivalence and strengthen their own motivation for change.

Here’s a practical breakdown you can use:

Core Principles

Express Empathy — Listen actively and validate the person’s feelings without labeling or lecturing.

Develop Discrepancy — Help the person see the gap between their current behavior and their goals or values.

Roll with Resistance — Avoid arguments. Resistance is a signal to change your approach, not to push harder.

Support Self-Efficacy — Emphasize the person’s strengths and their ability to make change.

Practical Techniques (BI in Action)

1. Use Open-Ended Questions
Encourage reflection rather than yes/no answers.

“What do you enjoy about drinking? What worries you about it?”
“How does your current habit fit with the goals you have for yourself?”

2. Reflective Listening
Mirror back what you hear, showing you’re listening and helping them clarify their own thoughts.

“It sounds like you feel drinking helps with stress, but you also notice it’s causing problems at work.”

3. Affirmations
Highlight strengths, efforts, or positive intentions.

“It took courage to talk about this today.”
“You’ve already started thinking about changes — that shows commitment.”

4. Summarizing
Wrap up key points to reinforce their motivations and concerns.

“So on one hand, alcohol helps you relax, but on the other, it’s straining your relationships. You’re wondering if cutting back could help.”

5. Elicit Change Talk
Gently guide them to voice reasons for change.

“What would be the good things about making this change?”
“If you decided to cut back, how might your life improve?”

A Simple BI Flow (the “FRAMES” model)

Feedback: Offer personalized, nonjudgmental observations.
Responsibility: Emphasize their autonomy.
Advice: Provide options, not directives.
Menu of choices: Offer strategies to try.
Empathy: Maintain an accepting tone.
Self-efficacy: Reinforce their ability to succeed.

Practice tip: Role-play these techniques with a colleague or even by journaling different “client responses” to practice reflective listening and eliciting change talk.

Shervan K Shahhian

Practice Brief Intervention Techniques:

Practice brief intervention techniques that motivate real change without judgment or confrontation?

Yes — you can practice Brief Intervention (BI) techniques in a way that encourages change through empathy, curiosity, and collaboration rather than judgment or confrontation. These techniques are often rooted in Motivational Interviewing (MI), which focuses on helping people resolve ambivalence and strengthen their own motivation for change.

Here’s a practical breakdown you can use:

Core Principles

Express Empathy — Listen actively and validate the person’s feelings without labeling or lecturing.

Develop Discrepancy — Help the person see the gap between their current behavior and their goals or values.

Roll with Resistance — Avoid arguments. Resistance is a signal to change your approach, not to push harder.

Support Self-Efficacy — Emphasize the person’s strengths and their ability to make change.

Practical Techniques (BI in Action)

1. Use Open-Ended Questions
Encourage reflection rather than yes/no answers.

“What do you enjoy about drinking? What worries you about it?”
“How does your current habit fit with the goals you have for yourself?”

2. Reflective Listening
Mirror back what you hear, showing you’re listening and helping them clarify their own thoughts.

“It sounds like you feel drinking helps with stress, but you also notice it’s causing problems at work.”

3. Affirmations
Highlight strengths, efforts, or positive intentions.

“It took courage to talk about this today.”
“You’ve already started thinking about changes — that shows commitment.”

4. Summarizing
Wrap up key points to reinforce their motivations and concerns.

“So on one hand, alcohol helps you relax, but on the other, it’s straining your relationships. You’re wondering if cutting back could help.”

5. Elicit Change Talk
Gently guide them to voice reasons for change.

“What would be the good things about making this change?”
“If you decided to cut back, how might your life improve?”

A Simple BI Flow (the “FRAMES” model)

Feedback: Offer personalized, nonjudgmental observations.
Responsibility: Emphasize their autonomy.
Advice: Provide options, not directives.
Menu of choices: Offer strategies to try.
Empathy: Maintain an accepting tone.
Self-efficacy: Reinforce their ability to succeed.

Practice tip: Role-play these techniques with a colleague or even by journaling different “client responses” to practice reflective listening and eliciting change talk.

Shervan K Shahhian

Identifying Key Challenges in Everyday Life:

Identifying Key Challenges in Everyday Life:
When we talk about key challenges in life, we’re usually referring to recurring obstacles or difficulties that most people face at some point. These challenges can be personal, relational, professional, or existential. Here’s a clear breakdown:

Personal Growth & Self-Understanding
Identity & Purpose: Figuring out “Who am I?” and “What is my purpose?” can feel overwhelming.
Self-esteem & Confidence: Struggling with self-worth or constantly seeking external validation.
Habits & Discipline: Breaking bad habits or building productive routines can be a long-term challenge.
Relationships & Social Life
Family Dynamics: Conflicts with parents, siblings, or partners.
Romantic Relationships: Trust issues, compatibility struggles, or loss.
Friendship & Community: Feeling isolated or struggling to connect meaningfully with others.
Health & Well-being
Physical Health: Maintaining fitness, managing illness, or coping with disabilities.
Mental Health: Anxiety, depression, stress, or burnout.
Work-Life Balance: Overcommitment leading to exhaustion.
Career & Financial Stability
Job Satisfaction: Finding meaningful work or dealing with a difficult work environment.
Financial Security: Debt, insufficient savings, or unpredictable income.
Career Growth: Facing obstacles in achieving goals, promotions, or recognition.
Decision-Making & Life Transitions
Major Choices: Education, relocation, marriage, or career shifts.
Coping with Change: Adapting to unexpected events, loss, or failures.
Risk & Uncertainty: Fear of failure or the unknown.
Existential & Spiritual Concerns
Meaning & Fulfillment: Searching for purpose beyond material success.
Mortality & Impermanence: Facing fears about death or aging.
Belief Systems: Struggling with doubts, ethics, or personal values.
Practical Tip:
A helpful way to approach these challenges is to identify them early, break them into manageable steps, and seek support - through mentors, therapy, or trusted friends. Life’s challenges are less about “avoiding problems” and more about learning resilience and adaptability.

Here’s a practical Life Challenge Checklist you can use to quickly assess which areas in your life may need attention. You can mark each item as “Low,” “Moderate,” or “High” challenge to see patterns.

Life Challenge Checklist

Personal Growth & Self-Understanding
☐ Understanding my purpose and life goals
☐ Feeling confident and worthy
☐ Managing habits, discipline, and self-control
☐ Coping with fear, self-doubt, or procrastination
Relationships & Social Life
☐ Quality of family relationships
☐ Romantic or partner relationships
☐ Friendships and social support
☐ Feeling lonely or isolated
Health & Well-being
☐ Physical health and fitness
☐ Mental health (stress, anxiety, depression)
☐ Sleep and energy levels
☐ Maintaining work-life balance
Career & Finances
☐ Job satisfaction and purpose
☐ Career growth and skill development
☐ Financial stability and planning
☐ Coping with work-related stress
Decision-Making & Life Transitions
☐ Managing major life decisions
☐ Adapting to change and uncertainty
☐ Coping with failures or setbacks
☐ Taking calculated risks confidently
Existential & Spiritual Concerns
☐ Finding meaning beyond material success
☐ Aligning life with personal values
☐ Coping with fear of death or impermanence
☐ Sense of inner peace and fulfillment

How to Use It
Rate each item as Low / Moderate / High challenge.
Identify the areas where challenges are High - these are priority areas.
Break each high-challenge area into small, actionable steps.
Review every few months to track progress.
Shervan K Shahhian

How to Navigate Problematic Behavior, Detection and Solutions

Navigate Problematic Behavior, Detection and Solutions:

Here’s a polished and structured way to frame “Navigating Problematic Behavior: Detection and Solutions” in a psychological or therapeutic context:

Navigate Problematic Behavior, Detection and Solutions

1. Understanding Problematic Behavior

Problematic behavior refers to patterns of actions, reactions, or habits that negatively impact an individual’s well-being, relationships, or daily functioning. These behaviors can range from mild avoidance to aggressive outbursts, compulsions, or self-sabotaging habits.

2. Detecting Problematic Behavior

Therapists, counselors, or even individuals themselves can identify problematic behaviors through:

Observation of Patterns

Recurring negative interactions in relationships or work.
Frequent emotional distress triggered by specific situations.

Self-Report and Reflection

Journaling thoughts, feelings, and actions.
Identifying recurring themes of frustration, shame, or avoidance.

Feedback from Others

Constructive input from friends, family, or colleagues.
Noticing discrepancies between self-perception and others’ observations.

Functional Assessment

Determining how behaviors affect daily functioning.
Evaluating the costs and benefits of certain habits or reactions.

Addressing Problematic Behavior

Effective solutions usually combine awareness, skills development, and support systems:

Awareness & Insight

Mindfulness techniques to notice triggers and responses.
Psychoeducation to understand why a behavior occurs.

Skill Development

Cognitive-behavioral strategies to challenge unhelpful thought patterns.
Emotional regulation skills to manage anger, anxiety, or impulses.
Communication skills to reduce interpersonal conflicts.

Behavioral Interventions

Setting small, realistic goals for change.
Positive reinforcement for desired behaviors.
Gradual exposure to challenging situations to reduce avoidance.

Support Systems

Therapy, support groups, or mentoring.
Family or peer involvement for accountability and encouragement.

Continuous Monitoring

Regular reflection on progress.
Adjusting strategies as needed to prevent relapse or stagnation.

4. Practical Tips

Start small: Focus on one behavior at a time.
Track progress: Journals, apps, or feedback loops can help.
Celebrate improvements: Recognize even minor positive changes.
Be patient: Behavior change is gradual, not instant.

Shervan K Shahhian

Working with Hypnotic Resistance:

Hypnotic resistance is when a client consciously or unconsciously resists going into trance or accepting hypnotic suggestions. It doesn’t always mean hostility — it’s often a protective mechanism.

Here are ways practitioners typically work with hypnotic resistance:

1. Reframe Resistance as Cooperation

Instead of fighting resistance, treat it as the client’s way of protecting themselves.
Example: “That part of you that resists is doing its best to keep you safe. Let’s thank it and invite it to help in the process.”

2. Use Indirect & Permissive Language

Direct commands (“You will relax now”) may trigger pushback.
Indirect suggestions work better: “You may notice how your body begins to find its own comfortable rhythm.”
Milton Erickson often used permissive language, metaphors, and double binds to bypass resistance.

3. Build Rapport and Trust

Many times, resistance comes from fear, distrust, or a lack of clarity about hypnosis.
Spend time explaining what hypnosis is (and isn’t). Clarify misconceptions like loss of control.
Establishing safety reduces resistance.

4. Utilize the Resistance

Rather than fighting it, you can “go with it.”
Example: If the client says, “I can’t be hypnotized,” respond: “That’s right, and you don’t need to be hypnotized — you just need to notice what your mind is already doing.”

5. Use Paradoxical Suggestions

Paradoxical interventions turn resistance into cooperation.
Example: “I don’t want you to relax too quickly… because sometimes people relax too fast and miss out on the experience.”
The unconscious mind often responds by doing the opposite.

6. Ego-strengthening & Gradual Approach

Resistance can signal fear of losing control.
Start with light relaxation, guided imagery, or simple focus tasks before deeper trance.
Strengthen the client’s sense of autonomy: “You’ll always remain in charge.”

7. Identify Underlying Causes

Sometimes resistance comes from:
Trauma (needing safety before letting go)
Fear of change
Fear of manipulation or control
Hidden secondary gains (the problem provides some unconscious benefit)
Exploring these in therapy helps reduce resistance.

In short: Resistance is information, not obstruction. It shows where the client needs reassurance, permission, or a different approach.

Shervan K Shahhian

How Unconditional Positive Regard Changes Someone’s Inner Self-Talk:

How unconditional positive regard changes someone’s inner self-talk:

Unconditional positive regard (UPR), as Carl Rogers described it, doesn’t just make someone “feel supported” — over time, it can rewire the tone and content of their inner self-talk.

Here’s how that transformation tends to happen:

1. From self-criticism to self-acceptance
When someone repeatedly experiences UPR — hearing, feeling, and believing that they are accepted without conditions — it challenges the internalized voices of criticism or shame.

Before UPR: Inner voice says, “I messed up. I’m such a failure.”
After sustained UPR: Inner voice shifts to, “I made a mistake, but I’m still worthy and capable of learning.”

2. Replacing conditional worth with unconditional worth
Many people’s self-talk is shaped by early experiences where love or approval was conditional (“I’m only good if I get straight A’s”). UPR gives repeated corrective experiences, teaching the psyche: worth isn’t earned, it’s inherent.

This reduces “achievement anxiety” and the mental pressure to constantly perform for self-approval.

3. Internalizing the therapist’s (or supporter’s) voice
Over time, the way the therapist reflects and responds gets internalized. The client starts to “hear” that compassionate, nonjudgmental tone inside their own mind, especially during moments of distress.

This becomes a new inner resource — like having an internal coach who sees the whole self, not just the mistakes.

4. Encouraging authentic self-expression
If you expect to be judged, your inner self-talk often censors your thoughts: “Don’t say that, it’s stupid.”
With UPR, people learn they can bring all of themselves into the light — thoughts, feelings, impulses — without fear of rejection. This loosens self-editing and leads to a freer, more honest inner dialogue.

5. Shifting from fear-based to growth-based thinking
When you know you’re accepted, risk-taking in thought and action feels safer. Self-talk moves from,

“If I fail, I’ll be worthless” → “Even if I fail, I’ll learn and grow.”
That growth mindset becomes an automatic mental habit.

In essence:
UPR acts like a steady mirror that reflects your value is intact, no matter what. Over time, the inner critic loses dominance, and the inner voice becomes more like an encouraging friend — still realistic, but deeply supportive.

Before-and-after inner monologue chart:

Here’s a before-and-after inner monologue chart showing how unconditional positive regard (UPR) can shift a person’s self-talk over time:

Situation Before UPR (Conditional Self-Worth) After Sustained UPR (Internalized Acceptance) Making a mistake “I’m so stupid. I can’t do anything right.” “I made a mistake. That’s okay — I can fix it or learn from it. ”Receiving criticism “They think I’m worthless. They’re probably right.” “Their feedback doesn’t define my worth — I can take what’s useful and let the rest go. ”Feeling strong emotions“ I shouldn’t feel this way. It means I’m weak.” “It’s okay to feel this. My feelings make sense, and they’ll pass. ”Trying something new“ If I fail, everyone will see I’m not good enough.” “It’s worth trying, even if I fail — my value doesn’t depend on the outcome. ”Not meeting expectations “I’m letting everyone down. I can’t handle this.” “I didn’t meet the goal this time, but I can regroup and try again. ”Facing personal flaws“ I hate this part of me. I wish it would just go away.” “This is a part of me that needs care and understanding, not rejection. ”Receiving praise“ They’re just being nice. I don’t deserve it.” “I appreciate the compliment — it’s nice to be seen.”

Pattern shift:

Before UPR: Inner talk is judgment-heavy, conditional, and fear-based.
After UPR: Inner talk is curious, compassionate, and grounded in self-worth.

Shervan K Shahhian

Conversational Hypnosis, what is it:

Conversational Hypnosis:

Core Concept:

Key Techniques in Conversational Hypnosis:

Rapport Building
Establishing trust, empathy, and psychological alignment with the listener. Without rapport, the subconscious is less receptive.

Pacing and Leading
Start by stating observable truths (pacing), which builds agreement, then subtly guide the person toward a suggestion or desired thought (leading).

Example: “You’re sitting here reading this, maybe curious about how your mind works… and as you continue, you might begin to notice…”

Hypnotic Language Patterns (Ericksonian)
Inspired by Milton Erickson, these include:

Embedded commands: “You might begin to feel more confident.”
Double binds: “Would you prefer to relax now or in a few minutes?”
Tag questions: “That makes sense, doesn’t it?”
Implied causality: “As you sit here, you’ll naturally start to feel more at ease.”

Metaphors and Stories
Personal or symbolic stories bypass resistance and embed suggestions indirectly.

E.g., “I once knew someone who used to doubt themselves, but something shifted when they realized…”

Open Loops and Curiosity
Creating unresolved ideas or stories keeps the subconscious engaged and primed to accept suggestions.

“There’s something I want to tell you that could really change how you think about confidence…”

Applications of Conversational Hypnosis:

Therapy and coaching (e.g., building motivation, reducing anxiety)
Sales and negotiation (ethical influence)
Public speaking (engaging an audience deeply)
Personal development and habit change

Ethical Considerations:

Conversational hypnosis can be powerful and should be used with integrity. Misuse for manipulation or coercion can be harmful. When applied ethically, it’s a tool for positive influence, healing, and growth.

Scene: A client feels nervous about public speaking.

(Rapport + pacing experience)

Client:
“Yeah, I guess so. I just get tense before I speak.”

(Reframe + implied causality + open loop)

Client:
“Sometimes, yeah… when I’m in the zone.”

(Embedded suggestion + indirect priming of internal resources)

Client:
“Huh, I never thought about it that way.”

Coach:
“Most people don’t, until they realize… that calm and confidence are already part of who they are. Maybe they were just waiting for the right moment to come back.”

What’s Happening Under the Surface:

No direct command like “Relax!” or “Be confident!”
Subtle suggestions are embedded within casual conversation.
The client’s subconscious is gently guided to associate past success with present potential.
The coach uses open language, reframing, and metaphors of natural learning and transformation.

Shervan K Shahhian