Sadism is a psychological term describing a tendency to derive pleasure by causing pain:

Sadism is a psychological term describing a tendency to derive pleasure, satisfaction, excitement, or a sense of power from causing pain, humiliation, distress, or suffering to another person.

The term is used in several contexts:

  • Sexual Sadism: Sexual arousal or gratification associated with another person’s suffering, humiliation, or pain. When this involves non-consenting people or causes significant impairment/distress, it may meet criteria for a mental disorder and criminal violence.
  • Non-sexual Sadism: Enjoyment of dominating, humiliating, frightening, or deliberately hurting others outside a sexual context.
  • Everyday use: Someone may be called “sadistic” simply because they appear unusually cruel or enjoy seeing others suffer; this may not necessarily mean they have a psychiatric disorder.

Sadism vs. Masochism

TermBasic meaning
SadismPleasure from causing suffering or humiliation
MasochismPleasure from experiencing suffering or humiliation
Sadomasochism (SM)Involves elements of both

An important distinction is consent. Consensual BDSM activities may involve pain, dominance, or humiliation without automatically indicating psychopathology. The clinical concern is more about lack of consent, significant distress/impairment, or harm. Intimacy Should Not Include Violence.

Shervan K Shahhian

Sadomasochism is a psychological and behavioral concept,…

Sadomasochism is a psychological and behavioral concept describing the combination of two tendencies:

  • Sadism: deriving pleasure (often emotional, psychological, or sexual) from inflicting pain, humiliation, or control over others.
  • Masochism: deriving pleasure from experiencing pain, submission, or humiliation.

When combined, sadomasochism refers to a dynamic where one person takes a dominant (sadistic) role and another takes a submissive (masochistic) role, often in a mutually agreed context.

In mental health:

  • It may refer to personality traits, not just sexual behavior.
  • Historically, it could have been classified as a disorder, but modern frameworks (like the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, distinguish between:
    • Consensual behaviors: not considered pathological
    • Non-consensual or harmful patterns: may be classified as a disorder/ pathological

1. BDSM Context (Modern Understanding)

In contemporary culture, sadomasochism may be part of BDSM (Bondage, Discipline, Dominance, Submission, Sadism, Masochism).

Key features:

  • Consent (explicit and ongoing)
  • Boundaries and safety
  • Mutual trust
  • May be guided by principles like “safe, sane, and consensual”

In this context, it is not inherently unhealthy and may be part of normal adult sexuality?

2. Non-Sexual Sadomasochism

Sadomasochistic dynamics may also appear outside sexuality:

  • In relationships (emotional domination/submission)
  • In workplace or authority structures
  • In self-defeating or self-punishing behaviors

3. When It Becomes Problematic

It may be considered harmful when:

  • There is lack of consent
  • It causes distress or impairment
  • It involves coercion, abuse, or injury
  • It becomes compulsive or uncontrollable

4. Psychological Interpretation

From a deeper lens:

  • It may relate to power regulation
  • Attachment dynamics (control vs. surrender)
  • Affect regulation (using pain or intensity to manage emotional states)
  • In some theories, it may reflect attempts to integrate aggression and vulnerability

Shervan K Shahhian

There are a few ways to understand Masochism:

A Masochist may be a person who experiences pleasure, satisfaction, or emotional relief from pain, discomfort, or humiliation.

There are a few ways to understand Masochism:

1. Psychological meaning

  • A person may seek out difficult or painful situations.
  • This isn’t always physical, it may be emotional (staying in hurtful relationships, self-sabotage).
  • In clinical mental health, extreme forms may relate to patterns like self-defeating behavior.

2. Sexual context

  • In sexuality, Masochism refers to arousal from pain or submission.
  • It may often be discussed alongside sadism (enjoyment of giving pain), and together they form sadomasochism (BDSM).
  • When practiced consensually and safely, some may considered it as a normal variation of human sexuality?

3. Everyday usage

  • People sometimes may use it casually, like:
    • “I must be a Masochist for doing this workout”
  • In this sense, it just means choosing something difficult or uncomfortable.

Important distinction

Being a Masochist may not automatically mean something is wrong. It depends on:

  • Whether it’s consensual and controlled
  • Whether it causes distress or harm

Shervan K Shahhian

Repeated or Prolonged Traumatic Experiences (R-PTEs), may refer to exposure to traumatic, threatening, abusive, or overwhelming events:

Professional or urgent support is especially important if trauma symptoms are severely interfering with daily life, relationships, work, sleep, or safety, or if there are thoughts of suicide or self-harm. In the U.S., you can call or text 988 for immediate crisis support.

Repeated or Prolonged Traumatic Experiences refer to exposure to traumatic, threatening, abusive, or overwhelming events that happen again and again or continue over an extended period.

Unlike a single incident trauma, such as one car accident or natural disaster, prolonged trauma may create a persistent sense that danger, unpredictability, or helplessness is part of everyday life.

Examples

Repeated or prolonged trauma may include:

  • Ongoing physical, emotional, or sexual abuse
  • Childhood neglect or chronic exposure to conflict
  • Domestic violence or coercive control
  • Bullying or repeated humiliation
  • Living in a dangerous or unstable environment
  • Repeated exposure to violence, disaster, or traumatic events
  • Chronic discrimination, persecution, or severe harassment
  • War, displacement, captivity, or torture
  • Repeated occupational exposure to traumatic events, such as in some emergency or military roles

When trauma is interpersonal, chronic, and difficult or impossible to escape, it may have particularly broad effects on a person’s emotions, relationships, sense of safety, and self-concept.

Possible effects

People respond differently, but prolonged trauma can contribute to:

  • Hypervigilance: constantly scanning for danger
  • Anxiety or panic
  • Intrusive memories or nightmares
  • Emotional numbness
  • Irritability or anger
  • Difficulty trusting others
  • Shame, guilt, or low self-worth
  • Avoidance of reminders, people, or situations
  • Sleep problems
  • Difficulty concentrating
  • Dissociation or feeling detached from yourself or reality
  • Problems with emotional regulation and relationships

These reactions may often be understandable adaptations to prolonged stress and danger, rather than signs of personal weakness.

How to cope and manage

1. Establish safety first

If trauma is still occurring, coping techniques alone may not be enough. Physical and emotional safety should come first.

Ask yourself:

Am I safe now, or am I still living in the traumatic situation?

If there is immediate danger, contacting emergency services 988, a domestic violence resource, or another appropriate crisis service may be necessary.

2. Learn grounding skills

Grounding may help bring attention back to the present.

For example, try the 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 technique:

  • Name 5 things you can see
  • 4 things you can feel
  • 3 things you can hear
  • 2 things you can smell
  • 1 thing you can taste

Slow breathing, feeling your feet on the floor, or identifying objects around you may also help remind your nervous system:

“That was then. I am here now.”

3. Regulate the nervous system

Repeated trauma may leave the body frequently activated or shut down. Helpful practices may include:

  • Slow, steady breathing
  • Walking or other gentle movement
  • Stretching
  • Mindfulness, when it feels safe
  • Progressive muscle relaxation
  • Consistent sleep and daily routines
  • Reducing excessive caffeine or substances that worsen anxiety

The goal may not be to force yourself to relax, but to gradually help your body experience safety and regulation.

4. Avoid overwhelming yourself with trauma memories

You may not have to repeatedly relive traumatic experiences in order to heal.

For some people, constantly reviewing, researching, talking about, or exposing themselves to trauma related material may become overwhelming. A better approach may often be gradual, structured processing, ideally with appropriate professional support.

5. Rebuild connection and support

Trauma may create isolation. Safe relationships may be an important part of recovery.

This might include:

  • A trusted friend or family member
  • A support group
  • A trauma informed therapist
  • A community, spiritual, or peer support network

The key word is safe. Not everyone needs to know your story.

6. Consider trauma focused professional treatment

Depending on the person’s symptoms and history, evidence based approaches may include:

  • Trauma focused Cognitive Behavioral Therapy approaches
  • EMDR
  • Cognitive Processing Therapy (CPT)
  • Prolonged Exposure (PE), when appropriate
  • Skills based approaches for emotional regulation and stabilization
  • Some body oriented or trauma informed approaches as adjuncts

A qualified mental health professional may help determine what is appropriate. With complex or prolonged trauma, treatment may sometimes begin with stabilization, safety, coping skills, and emotional regulation before intensive trauma processing.

An important principle

Recovery from prolonged trauma may not be linear.

A person may have periods of improvement followed by anxiety, memories, emotional reactions, or setbacks. That may not necessarily mean they are failing or “back to square one.”

Recovery may involve gradually developing:

Safety, stabilization, processing, integration, rebuilding a meaningful life.

When to seek additional help

Professional or urgent support is especially important if trauma symptoms are severely interfering with daily life, relationships, work, sleep, or safety, or if there are thoughts of suicide or self-harm. In the U.S., you can call or text 988 for immediate crisis support.

In short: repeated or prolonged trauma may affect both the mind and body because the person has had to adapt to ongoing threat or overwhelming stress. Healing may involve creating safety, regulating the nervous system, building support, and processing traumatic experiences at a manageable pace.

Shervan K Shahhian

Single Incident Trauma (SIT), refers to a psychological trauma:

Professional or urgent support is especially important if trauma symptoms are severely interfering with daily life, relationships, work, sleep, or safety, or if there are thoughts of suicide or self-harm. In the U.S., you can call or text 988 for immediate crisis support.

Single Incident Trauma refers to psychological trauma resulting from one specific, identifiable event that is experienced as threatening, overwhelming, horrifying, or life endangering.

Examples

A single traumatic incident might include:

  • A serious car accident
  • A physical or sexual assault
  • A natural disaster
  • A violent attack or robbery
  • Witnessing someone being seriously injured or killed
  • A medical emergency or traumatic medical procedure: Consult with a Medical Doctor.
  • A fire, explosion, or other life threatening event
  • Military combat or a single combat related event

Possible reactions

After the event, a person may experience:

  • Intrusive memories or flashbacks
  • Nightmares
  • Anxiety or panic
  • Hypervigilance or being easily startled
  • Avoidance of reminders of the event
  • Emotional numbness
  • Guilt, shame, anger, or fear
  • Sleep and concentration problems

For some people, these reactions gradually improve. For others, symptoms may persist and develop into post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) or other trauma related difficulties.

Single Incident vs. Complex Trauma

Single Incident TraumaComplex Trauma
One identifiable traumatic eventRepeated or prolonged traumatic experiences
Often has a clear beginningMay occur over months or years
Example: one serious accidentExample: chronic childhood abuse or ongoing domestic violence
May produce PTSDMay contribute to PTSD, complex PTSD, dissociation, and difficulties with relationships or identity

Possible Treatment

Single Incident Trauma may often respond well to trauma focused approaches such as Trauma Focused CBT, EMDR, Prolonged Exposure, and other evidence based treatments. The appropriate approach depends on the person’s symptoms, history, safety, and individual circumstances.

In short: A single incident may be traumatic even if it happened only once. What matters may not simply the event itself, but how overwhelming, threatening, and psychologically impactful it was for the individual.

Shervan K Shahhian

A Mental Struggle is an ongoing inner difficulty involving your thoughts, emotions, beliefs,…

A Mental Struggle is an ongoing inner difficulty involving your thoughts, emotions, beliefs, or ability to cope with a situation. It can feel like being in conflict with your own mind.

Examples of mental struggles

  • Overthinking: Your mind keeps analyzing the same problems.
  • Anxiety: Constant worry, fear, or anticipation of something going wrong.
  • Self-doubt: Questioning your abilities, decisions, or worth.
  • Inner conflict: Wanting two opposing things at the same time.
  • Grief or loss: Struggling to accept or adjust to a major change.
  • Guilt or regret: Repeatedly thinking about past actions or mistakes.
  • Low motivation: Wanting to move forward but feeling mentally unable to do so.
  • Negative self-talk: Being overly critical or harsh toward yourself.

A Mental Struggle may not necessarily mean someone has a mental disorder. Everyone may experience internal struggles at times, especially during stress, loss, uncertainty, or major life changes. However, when the struggle becomes intense, persistent, or interferes with daily life, relationships, sleep, or functioning, professional support may be helpful.

In simple terms: a mental struggle could be the difficulty of trying to manage what is happening inside your mind while also dealing with life outside of it.

Shervan K Shahhian

A Racing Mind is when thoughts seem to move rapidly, jump from topic to topic,…

Please, speak with a qualified mental health professional promptly”

A racing mind is when thoughts seem to move rapidly, jump from topic to topic, repeat worries, or make it difficult to focus, relax, or fall asleep. It may happen during stress, anxiety, excitement, sleep deprivation, excessive caffeine, and sometimes certain mental health conditions.

Things that may help in the moment

1. Stop trying to force your mind to be blank.

Trying to not think often makes thoughts louder. Instead, notice them:

“I’m having a lot of thoughts right now. I don’t have to solve all of them tonight.”

2. Get the thoughts out of your head.

Keep a notebook nearby and do a quick mind dump. Write down worries, tasks, ideas, and reminders. Your mind may relax when it no longer feels responsible for remembering everything.

3. Slow the body first.

A racing mind may accompany physiological arousal. Try slow, comfortable breathing, relaxing your muscles, or grounding yourself in physical sensations: Consult with a Medical Doctor.

For example:

  • Notice 5 things you see
  • 4 things you feel
  • 3 things you hear
  • 2 things you smell
  • 1 thing you taste

4. Give your attention one simple anchor.

Focus gently on something repetitive: your breathing, a calming sound, counting slowly, or the physical sensation of lying in bed. When your mind wanders, simply return without criticizing yourself.

5. Reduce stimulation.

If possible, step away from stressful conversations, news, social media, bright screens, caffeine, or multitasking.

A useful question

Sometimes ask yourself:

“Is this a problem I can do something about right now?”

  • Yes: Write down the next small action.
  • No: Give yourself permission to postpone it.

You don’t have to solve tomorrow’s problems at midnight.

If it happens at bedtime

Don’t turn sleep into a battle. Keep the environment quiet and dim, and avoid repeatedly checking the clock. If you’re lying awake for a prolonged period and becoming frustrated, doing something calm in low light until you feel sleepy again may help break the association between bed and mental struggle.

When to seek professional help

If racing thoughts are persistent, severely disrupt sleep, occur with unusually high energy, decreased need for sleep, impulsive behavior, agitation, or feeling unusually euphoric or irritable, it’s important to speak with a qualified healthcare professional promptly. Those symptoms can have causes beyond ordinary stress or anxiety.

The goal isn’t necessarily to stop every thought. It’s to reduce the struggle with thoughts and help your mind and nervous system shift from high alert into a calmer state.

Shervan K Shahhian

Mental Rehabilitation (MR), sometimes called: psychiatric rehabilitation or psychosocial rehabilitation (PSR):

Mental Rehabilitation, some might call it: psychiatric rehabilitation or psychosocial rehabilitation (PSR), could be a process designed to help people with mental health conditions recover skills, independence, confidence, and quality of life.

The focus may not be simply on reducing symptoms. It also asks:

“How can this person live as independently, meaningfully, and successfully as possible?”

Possible, Key goals of mental rehabilitation

Depending on the person’s needs, rehabilitation may help with:

  • Daily living skills: hygiene, cooking, shopping, managing money, transportation
  • Social skills: communication, relationships, boundaries, and conflict resolution
  • Employment or education: preparing for work, maintaining a job, or returning to school
  • Independent living: finding and maintaining stable housing
  • Medication and treatment management: Consult with a Medical Doctor,

-understanding and participating in one’s treatment.

  • Coping skills: managing stress, anxiety, depression, or other symptoms
  • Relapse prevention: recognizing warning signs and developing a plan for difficult periods
  • Community integration: reducing isolation and participating in meaningful activities
  • Self-esteem and empowerment: helping the individual regain a sense of competence and control

Who may benefit?

Mental Rehabilitation may be used for people living with conditions that significantly affect daily functioning, such as:

  • Consult with a Psychiatrist/Medical Doctor
  • Schizophrenia and other psychotic disorders
  • Bipolar disorder
  • Severe depression
  • Serious anxiety disorders
  • PTSD and complex trauma
  • Substance use disorders
  • Cognitive or functional difficulties associated with mental illness

What might a rehabilitation program include?

A person might participate in a combination of:

  1. Individual therapy
  2. Group therapy
  3. Social skills training
  4. Vocational rehabilitation
  5. Case management
  6. Supported employment
  7. Life skills training
  8. Peer support
  9. Family education and support
  10. Community based programs

A simple example

Imagine a person with schizophrenia who has been hospitalized several times and is now stable but struggles with isolation, employment, organization, and managing daily responsibilities.

Mental Rehabilitation might help that person:

Stabilize, develop practical skills, build confidence, reconnect socially, find meaningful work or activities, maintain independence.

The central idea

Treatment asks: How can we reduce distress and symptoms?

Mental Rehabilitation asks: How can we help this person function, recover, and build a meaningful life even if some symptoms remain?

In modern mental health care, rehabilitation may be a person centered and recovery oriented program. The goal may not be necessarily to make someone “perfect” or define them by a diagnosis, but to help them develop their strengths and pursue independence, dignity, purpose, and quality of life.

Shervan K Shahhian

Overcoming Insomnia, The good news is that insomnia could be treatable:

“CONSULT WITH A MEDICAL DOCTOR”

Insomnia is difficulty falling asleep, staying asleep, or getting restorative sleep, even when you have the opportunity to sleep. The good news is that insomnia is often treatable.

Practical strategies

1. Keep a consistent wake up time

Try to get up at roughly the same time every day, including weekends. A consistent wake time might help you regulate your body clock.

2. Don’t force sleep

If you’ve been lying awake for a while, get out of bed and do something quiet and relaxing in dim light. Return to bed when you feel sleepy. This might help your mind reconnect the bed with sleep rather than frustration or worry.

3. Limit stimulants

Avoid or reduce:

  • NO, Caffeine later in the day
  • NO, Nicotine
  • NO, Heavy meals close to bedtime
  • NO, Excessive alcohol, which may disrupt sleep later in the night

4. Create a wind-down routine

For 30–60 minutes before bed, try calming activities such as:

  • Reading
  • Gentle stretching
  • Relaxation or breathing exercises
  • Meditation
  • Listening to quiet music

5. Manage the racing mind

Keep a notepad nearby. Write down worries, tasks, or reminders for tomorrow. This may reduce the feeling that you must keep thinking about them.

6. Be careful with naps

Long or late afternoon naps may or may not make nighttime sleep harder. If you nap, keep it relatively short and earlier in the day.

7. Get daylight and move during the day

Regular physical activity and exposure to natural daylight, especially earlier in the day, may support your circadian rhythm, Consult with a Medical doctor.

One psychological treatment could be

For chronic insomnia, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for Insomnia (CBT-I) could be considered be a treatment option. It may address the thoughts, behaviors, and habits that may perpetuate insomnia,

Consult with a Medical Doctor.

Possibly, CBT-I may include:

  • Stimulus control
  • Sleep scheduling/restriction therapy under appropriate guidance
  • Relaxation training
  • Cognitive restructuring
  • Sleep education
  • Consult with a Medical Doctor

Please, seek professional help

Consider talking with a qualified healthcare professional for insomnia:

  • Persists for weeks or months
  • Significantly affects daytime functioning
  • Causes severe fatigue, mood changes, or concentration problems
  • May be related to medication, substance use, chronic pain, or another sleep disorder
  • Consult with a Medical Doctor.

Persistent insomnia may sometimes coexist with conditions such as sleep apnea, restless legs syndrome, anxiety, depression, or circadian rhythm disorders, so identifying the underlying cause matters.

A key principle:

The harder we try to force sleep, the more alert and frustrated we can become. Often, improving sleep involves creating the right conditions and allowing sleep to return naturally. Consult with a Medical doctor.

Shervan K Shahhian

Doing the right thing does not guarantee an immediate reward, but why:

Doing the right thing does not guarantee an immediate reward or protection from hardship because life is not a simple system of instant rewards and punishments.

1. The world operates through many forces

Good intentions do not control other people’s behavior, accidents, illness, economic conditions, or unexpected circumstances. You may make the right decision and still encounter difficulties.

2. Rewards are not always immediate

Some benefits of doing the right thing develop slowly. Honesty may build trust over time. Kindness may strengthen relationships. Discipline may produce results months or years later.

3. Doing right can sometimes have a cost

Standing up for someone, telling the truth, setting boundaries, or refusing to participate in wrongdoing may create conflict. Sometimes the right thing is difficult precisely because it requires courage.

4. Goodness is a choice, not a transaction

If we only did good because we expected an immediate reward, then morality could become a business transaction:

“I did this, so what do I get?” 

Doing the right thing may have value even when the outcome is unfair.

5. Hardship does not necessarily mean you did something wrong

One of life’s most important lessons is:

Bad things happening to you are not proof that you deserve them, just as good things happening to someone are not always proof that they earned them.

Perhaps the deeper reward is not always protection from hardship, but knowing that hardship did not take away your character.

Doing the right thing does not guarantee an easy life. It means that, even when life is difficult, you have chosen not to become what hurt you.

But ultimately, all Good intentions, words, and deeds will be rewarded.

Some rewards will come from other people, while the ultimate reward will come from above.

Shervan K Shahhian